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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Celebrity misquotes

Celebrity misquotes

Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...

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Funny story: Arsenal attempt to buy Luis Suarez denied by credit card refusal

Arsenal attempt to buy Luis Suarez denied by credit card refusal

Arsenal Football Club were in crisis last night, as the latest attempt to sign a living breathing non-retired footballer before the new EPL season starts were dealt a hammer blow when a credit card transaction to buy Luis Suarez was rejected. A cl...

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Funny story: Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England) North...

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Funny story: Blatter Boost for Women's Football

Blatter Boost for Women's Football

He was elected the president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders in the 1970s. He incurred criticism from female footballers in 2004 when he suggested that women should "wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts to create a more female aesthe...

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Funny story: Man City Merry-Go-Round

Man City Merry-Go-Round

New Manchester City coach Manuel Pellegrini used his first press conference to insist that he is here for the long term. "I intend to impose a certain playing style on City, through my methods and ideas we will-" Manuel was cut off as a burly a...

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Funny story: Confuscious say what?!

Confuscious say what?!

Confuscious said: FA Cup Final, Wembley May 2013: "Both teams march out ready for battle, one in red and one in blue. South American and Southern European multi-millionaire soccer players from both teams cross themselves and look to the sky for assistance from their gods. A TV reporter observes the ceremony and before the teams cross the white line he rushes over for an interview from 2 p...

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Funny story: Fulham: New owner Khan wants to take club to 'next level'

Fulham: New owner Khan wants to take club to 'next level'

Fulham's new owner Shahid Khan hopes to build on the work of previous owner Mohamed "Al" Fayed by enforcing a strict new regime on his players. Hirsute and moustachioed Mr. Khan was quoted as saying "I'm not going to cock this up like those bloody...

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Funny story: Roy Kinnear of the Tyne!

Roy Kinnear of the Tyne!

St. James Park, Newcastle: The Tyne flows and along comes a veteran gunslinger, Roy Kinnear, brought in by Mike Ashley in a new role as an assassinator or terminator... Upon his appointment Roy Kinnear referred to players Yohan "Kebab" (Cabaye),...

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Funny story: Hull City Warned By Steve Bruce About Complacency

Hull City Warned By Steve Bruce About Complacency

Hull City boss Steve Bruce has warned his players not to be complacent after they were pitched against Chelsea on the opening day of the new Premier League season. Bruce told his team that they should be wary, and exercise a degree of caution when...

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Funny story: Paul Gascoigne On Wagon

Paul Gascoigne On Wagon

Former Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur, Lazio and England midfielder Paul Gascoigne, is rumoured to have given up drinking alcohol after he was spotted on Tyneside on Tuesday on the back of a coal wagon. Gascoigne, who also played for Boston U...

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Funny story: Chicharito Says Cheryl Cole Has The Sexiest Body He Has Ever Seen

Chicharito Says Cheryl Cole Has The Sexiest Body He Has Ever Seen

LOS ANGELES - Chicharito, who is a native of Mexico, was in L.A. visiting his girlfriend Cheryl Cole. Cole was meeting with the entertainment mogul Simon Cowell about the possibility of her taking the place of Britney Spears at the X-Factor judges...

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Funny story: David Beckham Retires - Says He Will Appear On Next Season's Dancing With The Stars

David Beckham Retires - Says He Will Appear On Next Season's Dancing With The Stars

NEW YORK CITY - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has announced that soccer star David Beckham has retired. Beckham played his last game with Paris Saint Germains and was on the winning side as PSG defeated Brest 3-1. The 38-year-old said that he...

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Funny story: Beckham announces retirement from modelling all forms of underpants

Beckham announces retirement from modelling all forms of underpants

The modelling world was shocked today at the news that David Beckham had finally called it a day on his international underpants modelling career. While many in New York, London and Milan had expected this news for some time, the announcement of h...

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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson New Manchester City Manager

Sir Alex Ferguson New Manchester City Manager

Sir Alex Ferguson, the outgoing manager of Premier League champions Manchester United, is to be unveiled later this week as the new manager of arch-rivals, and last year's champions, Manchester City. Sir Alex, 81, handed in his resignation letter...

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Funny story: Fergie Retires Sensation

Fergie Retires Sensation

Manchester United manager Sarah Ferguson is to retire at the end of the season. In her statement Fergie declared: 'The Queen has let it be known that I should no longer indulge in Association Football as Rugby Football is the only game (apart from Po...

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Funny story: Ivanovic is largely horse meat, claims Suarez

Ivanovic is largely horse meat, claims Suarez

Sometimes footballer Luis Suarez has refreshed public concern regarding the quality of imported meat in the UK by claiming that that Branislav Ivanovic is at least 30% horse meat. The Liverpool striker, who faced criticism this week for giving the...

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Funny story: Luis Suarez did not bite that man, it was a French kiss Uruguayan style!

Luis Suarez did not bite that man, it was a French kiss Uruguayan style!

English soccer, the Tabloids and Liverpool FC, plus others, are in uproar over the strange behaviour of star goal-getter Luis Suarez. He was caught on camera attempting to bite Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic, but the camera does tell lies sometimes and...

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