A Parliamentary Commission, established to investigate the popular saying, "Shit happens" this afternoon announced the results of their findings. It appears that shit does indeed happen, on a daily basis as far as most people are concerned. Those...
The Office of Fairness & Hatred of Politicians (OoFHoP) has announced that due to budget constraints caused by the current economic recession, the government has no choice but to reduce its spending by a considerable amount. The only way thi...
TV bosses are debating on what to call a new show, should it be; "Second Homes?" or "My Little Empire?" or "At Your Expense?" They finally agreed on a name. Thus a new (reality) television series is to be broadcast later this summer called: "I'm a...
A woman has insisted that her marriage is strong. Jaqui Stiff, who does something for the government, believes that her marriage will survive. She is married to Terry Spank, who has the largest collection of porn in the UK. His collection is so large...
Gordon Broon has announced that members of the government are to house asylum seekers. Geoff Hoon, Jaqui Smith, Harry Cohen and that McNulty feller who nobody really knows have been asked to help. It is believed that the shortage of housing is yet to...
In an exposé that exposes things big style, I am ready to blow the lid off MPs who have their piggy snouts in the trough of the public purse. A story robbed off popular tabloid and rag, The Daily Mail, makes interesting reading, for there are at l...
In yet another display of astounding ministerial incompetence, and what has been described as an embarrassing administrative error' by civil servants, the Government has today abolished itself. The original plan had been to replace 44 district and...
Police used alcohol spray and arrested a man in the House of Commons, after a CS gas-fuelled fight broke out between two men. Conservative Party chairman Sir Egg Pickled had been lightheartedly lecturing around 40 guests in the Shadow cabinet room...
Details are emerging of how the Conficker.c worm could act on April 1st. It has been known for some time that the worm, which is believed to have infected up to 10 million computers, has a major change of operating mode due to take place on April 1s...
The scuffle involved two guests at a Commons party hosted by Conservative chairman Eric Pickles on Monday night. The pair, whom Tory sources identified as journalists from the Sun and Daily Star, left the event but continued arguing about breasts in...
As the furore over MPs' abuse of expenses mounts, I can reveal further troubling allegations of impropriety at the Palace of Westminster. A Labour Member, who cannot be named for legal reasons but I am calling 'Mr. C.', is exposed as claiming the...
An inflation-busting salary increase of 2.33% has been agreed for MPs. The increase is said to include 2.33% to cover unexpected additional expenses, and a performance-related element of 0%. MPs had been calling for an 80% increase to replace the...
The Tory Party not too long ago was flush in cash after Lord WD dropped a bundle into their conservative laps. Who would've guessed that that very wealthy Lord of lords would be expelled from the traditionalist fraternity. The reason? Why infidelity...
An enquiry has been launched following allegations that a front bench minister failed to claim all the expenses he was technically able to claim on a second home. It is believed the MP lives in London, 'a few minutes from Westminster', and so does no...
MPs today voted for a new trough at the Palace of Westminster. Following a hard-fought debate lasting almost ten minutes, the proposal, introduced by Tony McNulty and seconded by Jacqui Smith, was carried unanimously. A parliamentary historian ex...
MPs are being prevented from surfing the internet for pornography and other 'inappropriate' material in their Commons offices, it is being claimed. A filter which blocks access to websites that contain "offensive or illegal content or are sources of...
A new political party - the UK Stimulus Party - has been launched today, promising to 'give Britain the stimulus it needs in these troubled times'. Speaking at the launch conference, Party Chairman Eric Mainsvoltage said, "The UK Stimulus Party wi...
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