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Funny satire stories about sex toys

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Funny story: New iVibe to Hit Sex Shops in Time for Valentine's Day

New iVibe to Hit Sex Shops in Time for Valentine's Day

SAN JOSE, CA - AppleCo is creating quite a "buzz" in the marketplace, unexpectedly branching out into the marital aid market. The latest in the company's hugely successful line of products, the new iVibe, will be hitting adult stores in early Februa...

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Funny story: Chinese Recall Adult Toys

Chinese Recall Adult Toys

Chinese made adult toys are being recalled en mass. All adult toys, from dildos to ben wa balls, to artificial masturbatory aides with 'real feel' orifices and projectiles have been recalled by Whang Bhang Inc. the biggest Chinese exporter of these i...

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Funny story: Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy

Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy

The current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going… Now she's for...

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Funny story: Biden Drops Rubber Tw*t

Biden Drops Rubber Tw*t

Airport Alert - Washington DC In perhaps one of the most embarrassing flight delays in presidential campaigning, Flight 1052, US Air from Miami to Washington was stopped today when a personal vibrating device fell and went off. Senator Joseph Bid...

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Funny story: Alien sabotage suspected as NASA's Ares moon rocket starts weird 'cosmic dildo' vibration

Alien sabotage suspected as NASA's Ares moon rocket starts weird 'cosmic dildo' vibration

Marshall Space Flight Centre, Alabama - (X-Files Mess): Alien sabotage may be behind suspected tampering of NASA's Ares moon rocket which has begun humming and vibrating weirdly 'like a gigantic cosmic dildo' according to reports. Prof Jeff Finck...

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Funny story: Sex Novelty Nabob, Pulls Tremendous Titty Taffy from Shelf!

Sex Novelty Nabob, Pulls Tremendous Titty Taffy from Shelf!

A high street sex shop has been providing sexsual sweets to adventurous and amorous erotics for decades now. One of their biggest sellers has been the "Tremendous Titty Taffy". That is until the Chinese melamine scare. They've now had to pull their t...

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Funny story: Home Depot to sell Adult toys.

Home Depot to sell Adult toys.

It's more than nuts and screws - Home Depot Inc, has announced today it's intention to open sales and service to an Adult Toy product line. In keeping with the building and home products diversification, room is being created in aisles and sections i...

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Funny story: Al Gore is Spokesperson for Solar Powered Dildo!

Al Gore is Spokesperson for Solar Powered Dildo!

Perennial Democratic Poster Boy Al Gore announced today he would be the worldwide spokesperson for the new solar powered dildo marketed under the "MEAN GREEN MACHINE " label and sold in K-Mart under the Martha Stewart line of household implements.

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Funny story: Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations

Japanese artist; Osaka Macok hás caused quite a stir with his alabaster creation of Jesus of Nazareth with a hard-on! The statue, which was displayed at a Gateshead (UK) Art Centre is allegedly responsible for a spurt in phallic sex toys.

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Funny story: New Cheerleader Masturbation Kit Launched!

New Cheerleader Masturbation Kit Launched!

Perverts across the USA were all smiles this morning with the launch of the world's first Cheerleader Masturbation kit. A spokesman for the manufacturer of the kit spoke to a packed group of raincoat-clad 50 year-old bald men at the company's late...

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Funny story: Apple iPhone Adds 3 Speed Vibrator

Apple iPhone Adds 3 Speed Vibrator

In an effort to increase sales among its female customers, Apple Inc. has introduced the new Apple iPhone Classic Touch Vibrator (CTV). In addition to all the usual iPhone features, the CTV also comes in 3 vibrating speeds for female enjoyment. Pr...

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Funny story: WALL-E Enormous at the Box Office; Jolie's Jugs Come in 2nd

WALL-E Enormous at the Box Office; Jolie's Jugs Come in 2nd

(La La Land, CA) - By turning on both children and adults, WALL-E sucked up nearly $63 million at the North American box office this past weekend. Telling the story of the last working sex toy/vacuum cleaner left on a barren and ref...

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Funny story: Rick Astley "let me down" says inflatable sex doll

Rick Astley "let me down" says inflatable sex doll

Eighties Pop Star and Internet Legend Rick Astley was today accused of abandoning a former latex playmate, after winning his record deal.

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Funny story: No Satisfaction for Alabama

No Satisfaction for Alabama

In what appears to be a routine case of the minority imposing rules upon the majority, the Alabama legislature may soon find itself before the United States Supreme Court over a law passed almost a decade ago.

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Funny story: Sex Toys Suffering Sexual Dysfunction

Sex Toys Suffering Sexual Dysfunction

Mephistophels, Tennessee (IP) - Doctors at the Baptist Hospital for sexual dysfunction report a sharp increase in the number of reports of sexual toys suffering from sexual dysfunction.

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Funny story: Priests issued with Dildos

Priests issued with Dildos

Following a spate of scandals the Catholic Church hierarchy has decreed that all priests, bishops and cardinals are to be issued with dildos.

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Funny story: Mattel Recalls 3.6 Million Sex Toys

Mattel Recalls 3.6 Million Sex Toys

No sooner did Mattel recall all of its Chinese-made Polly Pocket play sets, Batman action figures, and Barbie dolls, due to dangers posed by lead paint or tiny magnets that could be ingested that Mattel recalled 3.6 million of its lucrative secret se...

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