Hell, Michigan: After over 2000 years in business the Boogie Man has retired and is moving to Kissimmee FL, near Disneyworld. "This Michigan town freezes over every winter and I am sick of it," he was heard saying! Others cautioned that where he was...
In shocking news that has literally affected the whole of the internet, the Mythbusters team, popularised in the show Mythbusters, have decided to cancel the show after co-host Adam Savage announced his retirement from the whole business of having fu...
After several thousand years of mayhem, soul snatching, temptation, morality compromising, lust induction, and being the supreme causative factor in moving people to lie, cheat, rape, steal, and murder, Satan has decided to call it quits. Satan, a...
For nearly 800 years, Christopher Rudolph Kringle, better known as Santa Claus, has been traveling across the globe every Christmas Eve, giving presents to all the good children and raping all the bad ones. But this year, he's retiring. For the fi...
Prince Charles whose Granny and Mammy have been Queens for so long that no one even remembers his family name will reach the new mandatory retirement age of sixty before he could ever bear the weight of the crown. Charles will never be king though he...
In the midst of foreign affairs crises in Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran, with Israel's government in turmoil and the Palestinian situation tense, the Bush-Cheney war machine rolls again and right in the place they love to disaster- the cradle of civilsa...
Renowned method actor Daniel Day-Lewis has been preparing for his latest film role as a talented but reclusive English method actor by locking himself away in a luxurious French mansion, not talking to anyone and refusing to do interviews. Talente...
Lance Armstrong and Brett Favre aren't the only ones to unretire. Following their example, retirees all over the world are reversing their decisions and coming back to work at their old stomping grounds. "It's ridiculous," a young worker grumbl...
The recent spikes in gas prices have hurt everyone from small businesses to nine-to-fivers in terms of transportation. While gas prices haven't hurt convicted arsonist Tim Harris' mobility, he has been affected in other ways. "Sadly, I just can...
Washington DC-- Dick Cheney called a press conference today to announce his plans after January '09. The youthful looking Vice President announced he will be selling skin care products after his term expires. It's not well known the Veep has...
Brett Favre, the former quarterback for the Green Bay Packers who retired at the end of the season, officially unretired himself at at press conference today. Favre, who just had his most (and only) productive season of the last five, said that he &...
Gordon brown announced today that "wholesale reforms" of the way we have to pay for our retirement. With the slow increase in living expenses over the next 30 years expected, as well as having to sell your house and all other worldly posses...
In spite of Detroit's recent honor of being declared the most dangerous city in America, new poll of Salt Lake City prostitutes lists Detroit as the premier destination for retired people. The good news was most welcome by Detroit Police Chief E...
QM Mule Pack Unit, stationed next to cavalry battalion, had more than 100 mules. They were used for transporting supplies to rugged terrains. The man in charge of this unit was a full pack of oddities. He, when young, had graduated from the Army Veterinary Assistant School. His last assignment, before retirement, was Pack Unit Master.
"If I ever come in with a gym bag ... just leave the building," was all they told me. I believed ... and it saved my life. 'Going postal' has been a joke around here for a long time. When the manager started telling the entire gossip circle what was said when he called in sick -- it was all over but the body count. The government employee begged not to have his name used because having escap...
Joan has popped to the retirement home to see her mother Mary. Mary is in the television room with several other residents. Joan takes a seat next to her.
BOCA RATON - Every once in a while - far too infrequently - comes a rare story such as this. In this retirement community fifty miles north of Miami, a story is unfolding that re-affirms one's faith in others and in the world, despite a cynical and h...
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