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Funny satire stories about recession

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Funny story: Gold Man Sacks Little Guy

Gold Man Sacks Little Guy

New York: Just while stocks reached record highs in the Great Recession, investigators revealed today they discovered the secret formula of Gold Man Sacks (GMS): 2+2=5. According to investigators, GMS trained its employees to turn two 2s into 5. GM...

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Funny story: New method called Betanomics to end recession in UK

New method called Betanomics to end recession in UK

Presenting at the UK jobs summit hosted by David Cameron with the leaders of most of the top 20 companies in the UK, an Oxford Classics Don revealed his new way to move Britain out of recession. Professor Ira Glyfickx, originally from Belgium, put...

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Funny story: Vietnam Introduces "Domino Theory" of Western Bankruptcies

Vietnam Introduces "Domino Theory" of Western Bankruptcies

HANOI, Vietnam - Government trade and finance officials are warning of a global "domino effect", where financial defaults in one Western nation would induce further defaults in neighboring nations. Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung explained, "Thos...

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Funny story: Cameron & Gordon Brown: "Recession Just Giant Practical Joke"

Cameron & Gordon Brown: "Recession Just Giant Practical Joke"

LONDON - At a press conference in London, Cameron admitted to orchestrating the global financial meltdown along with his chums, former PM Gordon Brown and former president George W. Bush. "We got together on my farm in Texas," recalled Bush. "We w...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Sparks Double-Dip Recession Fears

Justin Bieber Sparks Double-Dip Recession Fears

Economists looked on in horror yesterday as stock markets plunged after diminutive pop sensation Justin Bieber admitted: "I won't be a pop star forever." Experts fear that his admission will create such havoc in the markets that the world's econom...

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Funny story: H.M.The Queen in extraordinary gesture

H.M.The Queen in extraordinary gesture

In an extraordinary show of solidarity, Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she is to renounce all her royal income and privileges in order to show that "we are all in it together" as the government prepares to trample all over her subjects in the...

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Funny story: The recession hits funerals in the UK, coffins are now being dropped instead of lowered, it saves time!

The recession hits funerals in the UK, coffins are now being dropped instead of lowered, it saves time!

The recession is biting the UK very hard and the latest cut-backs are hitting those companies involved in the "dead end" business, funeral services. The latest cut-backs involve getting the coffin as quick as possible into the hole, this saves tim...

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Funny story: UK Workers Quitting In Droves As Employers Try To Take Advantage Of Recession

UK Workers Quitting In Droves As Employers Try To Take Advantage Of Recession

Newly released figures reveal that British workers are quitting their jobs in droves this month, as unscrupulous employers attempt to cash in on the recession. After two years of being badgered, treated like shit, chopped and changed all over the...

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Funny story: Residential Real Estate Market Experiences Dead Cat Bounce, not Sustainable Recovery.

Residential Real Estate Market Experiences Dead Cat Bounce, not Sustainable Recovery.

The resurgence in real estate sales is being reported by some as indicative of a trend toward economic recovery, but wise investors are calling it quite another thing: A dead cat bounce. What in Gul-darned, Stinkly Hell Is A Dead Cat Bounce? The term is derived from the idea that even a dead cat will bounce if it falls from a great height; referring to a small, brief recovery after a particu...

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Funny story: Jesus hit by the recession!

Jesus hit by the recession!

Passion plays all over Europe are being hit by the recession especially the one in Oberammergau, Germany. Global fans of Jesus flock to the plays depicting the final days of his life and the crucifixion, but this years passion plays have been sore...

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Funny story: Standard & Poor-Whore relegates Vatican to junk status

Standard & Poor-Whore relegates Vatican to junk status

New York - (Off-the-Wall-Street Mess): "And not before time!" BigOil tycoon Helmore B Damnt commented today amid news that Vatican sovereign debt had been downgraded by US regulators. The relegation should have made Goldman Sux another bucketful o...

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Funny story: How To Make Life Even More Miserable For The Downtrodden And Unemployed

How To Make Life Even More Miserable For The Downtrodden And Unemployed

The following procedures are already being followed by millions of your fellow human beings in minor positions of power: If you are a big employer be sure to lay off people rather than let the shareholders take a hit on their stocks. Business is always more important than people. If you are a bank or financial institution since you are not making investments in this recession cannibalize you...

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Funny story: Britain tipped back into recession by John Terry: Claims Darling!

Britain tipped back into recession by John Terry: Claims Darling!

Chancellor of The Exchequer, Alistair Darling tonight gave a hurried news conference to leading Financial Journalists on the doorstep of No.11 Downing Street. Darling today received the latest GDP figures and wanted to explain that the sheer amoun...

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Funny story: Moorview Institute Leads USA Out Of Recession

Moorview Institute Leads USA Out Of Recession

Leisure industry bosses were today puffing out their chests with pride and struggling to keep up with counting the dollars as The Moorview Institute in Springfield, Illinois officially became the world's hottest tourist destination. Readers of an...

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Funny story: UK leaves The Recession Club

UK leaves The Recession Club

The UK finally staggered drunkenly out of the Recession Club, Holborn early yesterday morning after drinking heavily in there since early last year. The G20 nations all met up for a drink up in the famous club in the spring of last year and each s...

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Funny story: Gordon Brown: "UK out of recession, thanks to me!"

Gordon Brown: "UK out of recession, thanks to me!"

The UK officially left recession in the last quarter of 2009, thanks to a massive injection of government money into the economy. Prime Minister Gordon Brown was triumphant in parliament today. He said, to the usual jeers, "Ye see! Ah did it! Ah s...

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Funny story: "Britain's Recession Is Over" Says Ramsay MacDonald

"Britain's Recession Is Over" Says Ramsay MacDonald

The Prime Minister Mr Ramsay MacDonald today announced that the nation's longest ever recession was finally at an end. Speaking outside 10 Downing Street he said "It has been a long, hard time for us all. Now let us be thankful that we have made it t...

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