Due to the large amount of mail recieved by the Spoof Gazette, about Cat problems, today we publish this anonymous guide sent in by a reader. Cat User's Manual For all computer geeks out there! CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT (Maker of Many CATs) User Installation & Maintenance Documentation Features: User Friendly Low Power CPU Self Portable...
Suffolk Superior Crown Court, Boston, United States: Only in America, the land of the free and the brave, would a Tabby Cat be been summoned to do jury service. In compliance with the US judicial system website, jurors are "not expected to speak...
A leading veterinarian today urged the public - via his website - not to buy meerkats as pets, mainly because they're a massive pain in the arse in real life. The problem arises from the popularity of TV shows such as Meerkat Manor, and ad campaig...
Hundreds of Follywood stars who collect children like Mike Vick used to collect pet dogs, breathed a sigh of relief today as Suri Holmes-Cruise dropped her divorce suit seeking separate maintenance and 'her own life' that could have set a dangerous...
UCLA has done a study that has reveals, domesticated pets are controlling their owners through telepathic manipulation. Ever find yourself taking the dog out for a walk, when it's the last thing you were intending to do? Ever find yourself petting...
Filthy-rich dumb blonde celebutante Paris Hilton took her new Pygmy Hippo to the shops with her yesterday, writes Sarah N Ghetty, Big Game Correspondent. It's been all work and no play of late for errant brain-free but dollar-spinning peroxide bim...
A Costa Rican man has proven that dogs are not man's best friend, crocs are and doggies should be replaced by them. Albeit, man should not abandon their woof, woofs, that's cruel, instead they should just feed them to the crocs. There is one sligh...
Coventry, England: A City known for its diva, the Lady Godiva, comes a new 'i-con', Jack the Parrot! Known for his razor sharp beak and very sharp talons, he will go berseck. Three gangsters had the pleasure of being pecked and clawed hard, when...
Last night frail 97 year old Mary Hinge was behind bars for letting a boy under the age of fourteen walk out of her pet shop with a live flea. She stated that she never asked the boy his age as she didn't see his face because he was wearing a "ho...
LONG ISLAND, New York - Ladies, do you greet your companion with excitement every day, overlook his flaws, and forgive his bad behavior? If the companion in question is a dog, the answer is probably yes, but if it's your spouse, the answer is more li...
Reptiles have more uses than just pets - A company in the tropics where snakes and other reptiles are plentiful has come up with a product that has the fashion world all atwitter. Snakes and most other reptile types shed their skin periodically an...
For area mother, Adriana Baker, a recent trip to the local Petsmart for hamster bedding turned into an experience she would like to forget. "I can't explain how it all started and I suppose it should have occurred to me in advance but it didn't",...
The Baker family of Harlingen has a new pet and experts are speculating that it may be possessed by the Devil. 'Ginny', an otherwise unremarkable guinea pig was recently acquired by the family's matriarch, Adriana Baker from the wife of a principal i...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused by his usually loving spouse of conspiring to spoil Christmas. Anne Shuttlecock arrived home from work to catch her husband attempting to catch two wabbits in a hutch in the back garden. Assuming th...
As a side effect of recent studies on how to keep human beings from aging, scientists in the United States and Britain say they have the ability right now to prevent kittens from becoming cats and puppies from becoming full-grown dogs. "Oh they wi...
Al Gore, described as 'a Mountain of a Man' in Global Warming Circles, pronounced today that if the world is to be saved from itself, there is no place on earth for Pets, and their carbon emissions! The announcement would have raised alarms and P...
A puppy that was flushed down the toilet by a four-year-old was successfully rescued by a drain cleaning firm yesterday. The puppy was located using sophisticated CCTV equipment and then dragged from the sewer pipe along the street. The RSPCA has...
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