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Funny satire stories about pets

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Funny story: 97 year old petshop owning grandma arrested

97 year old petshop owning grandma arrested

Last night frail 97 year old Mary Hinge was behind bars for letting a boy under the age of fourteen walk out of her pet shop with a live flea. She stated that she never asked the boy his age as she didn't see his face because he was wearing a "ho...

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Funny story: For a Happier Husband, Treat Him Like a Dog

For a Happier Husband, Treat Him Like a Dog

LONG ISLAND, New York - Ladies, do you greet your companion with excitement every day, overlook his flaws, and forgive his bad behavior? If the companion in question is a dog, the answer is probably yes, but if it's your spouse, the answer is more li...

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Funny story: Help needed, free trip and free housing offered

Help needed, free trip and free housing offered

Reptiles have more uses than just pets - A company in the tropics where snakes and other reptiles are plentiful has come up with a product that has the fashion world all atwitter. Snakes and most other reptile types shed their skin periodically an...

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Funny story: 10 Minute Trip to Petsmart Results in 3 Hours of Begging for a Cat

10 Minute Trip to Petsmart Results in 3 Hours of Begging for a Cat

For area mother, Adriana Baker, a recent trip to the local Petsmart for hamster bedding turned into an experience she would like to forget. "I can't explain how it all started and I suppose it should have occurred to me in advance but it didn't",...

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Funny story: Family's New Pet Possessed By Devil, Experts Say

Family's New Pet Possessed By Devil, Experts Say

The Baker family of Harlingen has a new pet and experts are speculating that it may be possessed by the Devil. 'Ginny', an otherwise unremarkable guinea pig was recently acquired by the family's matriarch, Adriana Baker from the wife of a principal i...

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Funny story: Local Man Accused Of Spoiling Christmas

Local Man Accused Of Spoiling Christmas

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused by his usually loving spouse of conspiring to spoil Christmas. Anne Shuttlecock arrived home from work to catch her husband attempting to catch two wabbits in a hutch in the back garden. Assuming th...

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Funny story: Puppies & Kittens To Stay That Way All Their Lives

Puppies & Kittens To Stay That Way All Their Lives

As a side effect of recent studies on how to keep human beings from aging, scientists in the United States and Britain say they have the ability right now to prevent kittens from becoming cats and puppies from becoming full-grown dogs. "Oh they wi...

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Funny story: Al Gore Demands "Pets Must Go" in New World Global Warming Order!

Al Gore Demands "Pets Must Go" in New World Global Warming Order!

Al Gore, described as 'a Mountain of a Man' in Global Warming Circles, pronounced today that if the world is to be saved from itself, there is no place on earth for Pets, and their carbon emissions! The announcement would have raised alarms and P...

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Funny story: Puppy flushed by 4-year-old: RSPCA blames Andrex adverts

Puppy flushed by 4-year-old: RSPCA blames Andrex adverts

A puppy that was flushed down the toilet by a four-year-old was successfully rescued by a drain cleaning firm yesterday. The puppy was located using sophisticated CCTV equipment and then dragged from the sewer pipe along the street. The RSPCA has...

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Funny story: The Obama's "First Puppy" Is Here

The Obama's "First Puppy" Is Here

WASHINGTON D.C. - After months of speculation and waiting, the presidential first family has finally welcomed the much-awaited "First Puppy" to its new home; The White House. The Obama bow-wow is a little six-month old male Portuguese water dog wh...

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Funny story: Airline for Pets? What's their secret?

Airline for Pets? What's their secret?

Miami, Florida - It is a novel idea. Promising plenty of "Four-legged" room for the family pet, but it has everyone who has experienced first-hand the stress and all too often the trauma of losing an animal to the airline industry, asking: "What's th...

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Funny story: Spray-on Tan Now Available For Pets

Spray-on Tan Now Available For Pets

(Beigetown, Texas) Planning to take little Rover to Florida, but worried that the UV might damage her coat? Fret not, because the good folks from Mist-ova ™ Tan have just come up with a solution. Within the next few months the company will be s...

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Funny story: Seamus Heaney Revealed!

Seamus Heaney Revealed!

Irish poet and writer, Seamus Heaney has been let down by the home team today. His brother, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the more famous one kept 43 squirrels under his bed for luck. These Squirrels each had individual names rangi...

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Funny story: Recession Hits Domesticated Animals, Wild Animals Wonder What's the Fuss About

Recession Hits Domesticated Animals, Wild Animals Wonder What's the Fuss About

Last Thursday, Caesar, a 6-year old black purebred Labrador retriever waited for someone to adopt him after being abandoned by the family where he was employed as household pet for last two years. After failing to be find a new owner who would take h...

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Funny story: Postmen's Union Decry Pet Attacks

Postmen's Union Decry Pet Attacks

Police do not take pet animal attacks on postal delivery workers seriously enough, irate union leaders told press hacks during their annual Christmas piss-up at Smegmadale's Fighting Dog and Pikey pub. The claim comes after postman Sheldon Scrunt...

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Funny story: Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip

Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip

A 30-year-old disabled tortoise (ingrown toenails and harelip) unwittingly sent to a landfill site with its owner's rubbish, has been found alive. Sheldrake, a greater-crested Galapagos tortoise, owned by Gladys Hawksbill of Margate in Kent, clim...

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Funny story: Rent-A-Pal Offers Home Delivery

Rent-A-Pal Offers Home Delivery

We all know the economy is in a state of "recession," "depression," or "screwed-upness," depending upon which expert you ask. This uncertain future leaves many people hesitant to accept the long term commitment of pet o...

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