Atlanta - Keith Henderson, 22, of Peach Tree City was attacked earlier today by a Big Mac. Mr. Henderson was enjoying his regular meal at a local fast food joint when the sandwich he was about to eat jumped out of his hands and attacked him. Mr...
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California - One of the top young country singers in America today was spotted with her on-again, off-again boyfriend Jake "The Snake" Gyllenhaal. The two were sitting in a booth at the famous Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Have...
OXNARD, California - Singing sensations and extremely wealthy individuals Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have been seriously contemplating purchasing one of America's biggest burger chains, Burgers-in-The-Round. Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gal...
PANAMA CITY, Florida - A woman identified as Kimesia LaMeana Smithereens absolutely went ballistic at a Burger Kingdom Restaurant located in the beautiful Gulf of Mexico beach paradise of Panama City, Florida. The restaurant manager identified as...
BOSTON, Mass.-It seems that two brothers who were hungry past their dinner, ventured out to obtain some burgers, but finding every major burger joint closed, chose instead to buy hamburger meat at a local supermarket, that they thought was still open...
Local kebab, pizza and burger entrepreneurial tycoon, Ali Bullo, today revealed how an unsavoury incident involving one of his burger vans in the early hours of this morning, ruined what had hitherto been an excellent evening's trading. The van c...
England's 2nd Test superhero Kevin Pietersen has admitted that he threw away his wicket after scoring 227 runs when he saw a spectator in the crowd tucking into an exceptionally tasty-looking burger. England were on 568 when the burly right-hander...
Sacramento, CA - In yet another nation-leading move, the California Senate has passed Bill 1535 banning hamburgers in California. Fast food restaurants have until September to close their doors or change their menus to remove any hamburger food i...
While most states have official state birds, state trees, state songs, or state mottos, New Mexico has now decided that they need an official state food. This new choice fits in well with the official state question ("Red or Green?") as it deals wit...
The stakes in a stand off between Paraguayan kidnappers who snatched a local rancher have been upped this morning. The kidnappers are demanding over £3 million for the farmers release and have already called for thirty of his cattle to be given to...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration turned up the heat on Burger Kingdom's fast food empire today and ordered a massive recall after 1.2 million patties the company intended to flame broil turned out to be 100% flame retardant Angus b...
Bored and restless, Astronaut Randy Bresnik snuck out of the International Space Station and returned the shuttle to earth just so that he could go to Five Guys Burgers and Fries for a midnight snack. North American Aerospace Defense Command, bet...
MacBarfers, the American multinational company that has for years tried to poison the world's teenagers, was today in crisis when an undercover reporter managed to find out the carefully hidden secret recipe for their multi-million selling BigBarf burger. The reporter - who for reasons of security we will call John MacDonald of 23a Wisteria Avenue, Basingstoke, Westhamlostagain - disguised as a...
NEW YORK, NY - Spreading East from California, the new bankerburger is becoming a favorite with the intelligentsia. The nice garlic flavor coupled with the well done chewy meat flash cooked in it's own fat, is inspiring rave reviews at the Heinze Ki...
Two more victims of the world's hottest chilli burger were rushed to hospital last night by paramedics after biting off more than they could chew. Witnesses report that the two men had been drinking beer all night before turning up at the 'Burger...
Leading fast food outlet KCF today announced that in line with their global policy of appeasing ethnic minorities by providing tailored menus, they are to supply human meat, or 'long pig' as it is known locally to cannibals at its Borneo branch. K...
From our political correspondent - Rumblings of discontent have been detected from smokers and drinkers across the UK who enjoy their vices without fanfare, yet find themselves increasingly alienated from mainstream society by a bunch of wankers who...
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