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Funny satire stories about disease

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Funny story: Nose Whiskers Find A New Meaning For The Word Split-Ends

Nose Whiskers Find A New Meaning For The Word Split-Ends

LANCASTER, LOON VALLEY, ENGLAND-- (ALOPECIA DIGEST: HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW) It was a HAIR-raising experience for a local man attempting to shave the nose-hairs which had over-grown onto his upper lip as he watched in horror, his symbol of adolesce...

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Funny story: Despite Britney Spears Successful Rehab, Humanity Still Full of Suffering

Despite Britney Spears Successful Rehab, Humanity Still Full of Suffering

Britney Spears rehab has gone well, leaving thousands of people secretly a little disappointed that nothing went wrong.

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Funny story: New Study Released By Surgeon General - "We're all gonna die!"

New Study Released By Surgeon General - "We're all gonna die!"

The Surgeon General released a long-awaited report today on the future of American health, revealing his results to 500 elementary school children.

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Funny story: Bird Flu Wipes out Baytown West Virginia

Bird Flu Wipes out Baytown West Virginia

Most people have never even HEARD of Baytown West Virginia. Well, there you go. Bird Flu .. such an insidiously vapidly "666" disease that it can not only wipe entire cities off the face of the planet but also erase them from the c...

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Funny story: Fluoride the Cause of "The American Disease"

Fluoride the Cause of "The American Disease"

Tuscaloosa, Alabama:...

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Funny story: Drug Company Memo

Drug Company Memo

1-2-05 Dave, the USFDA is getting our bottom line down by exposing some of our meds that have serious side affects and even death. I expect that our Prendex and Gripatrate will be pulled off the market soon. Can your team invent a new disease or som...

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Funny story: Patients Succumb To Rodent Disease

Patients Succumb To Rodent Disease

BOSTON--Three organ recipients in southern New England have succumbed in the past month to a virus spread by hamsters, which morphologically changes the human body until the victims become large rodents. Officials said yesterday that three transplant...

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Funny story: Seoul Searching for Cloning Progress

Seoul Searching for Cloning Progress

SEOUL -- The lead scientist of a team of South Korean researchers who have cloned human embryos are planning for a day when using cloning technology will cure serious disease and injury.

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Funny story: Man Says One of his Hands is Trying to Kill him; Rare Disease Blamed

Man Says One of his Hands is Trying to Kill him; Rare Disease Blamed

SEATTLE, Wash. -- A lonely pawnbroker named Sam Sistamata has petitioned a court to have a surgeon cut off his left hand--even though there is no physical reason to do so.

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Funny story: Hearts are leading cause of heart disease, study finds

Hearts are leading cause of heart disease, study finds

A study conducted over the past 55 years has come to a close as doctors Timothy Webber and James Seul discovered today that hearts are the leading cause of various forms of heart disease.

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Funny story: Open Letter to CDC director J. L. Gerberding, M.D., M.P.H.

Open Letter to CDC director J. L. Gerberding, M.D., M.P.H.

There you are on your dumb CDC website, with that smug, self-serving smile, telling the whole world you’re oh-so-proud to be the director of the Centers for Disease Control. But if you’re so smart, then how come your precious little website hasn’t bothered to mention that my chances of being ritually murdered by Satanists are greater than dying from Alzheimer’s disease? Do you have an answer to th...

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Funny story: Royal Ascot cancelled: foot and mouth outbreak

Royal Ascot cancelled: foot and mouth outbreak

(Ascot, Berkshire; Monday) Amid scenes of panic and hysteria at the bookies' rails, this year's Royal meeting at Ascot racecourse has been officially cancelled due to a sudden outbreak of foot in mouth disease in the jockeys' weighing ro...

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Funny story: Reagan begins ‘blog' from Heaven

Reagan begins ‘blog' from Heaven

Former United States President Ronald Reagan, who died June 5 after suffering for long from Alzheimer's disease, has begun ‘blogging' from Heaven.

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Funny story: Open Letter to Coca-Cola

Open Letter to Coca-Cola

Dear Coca-Cola: I recently bought a 2 liter bottle of coke. I noticed that the bottle cap was offering some sort of give-away or prize. When I turned the cap over I saw that I was being offered 10% off athletes’ foot. At first I felt slightly insulted. Why do you think that I, the purchaser of a 2 liter bottle of Coke, am even likely to have this irritating foot disease?...

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Funny story: USDA Has Cattle Industry Mad

USDA Has Cattle Industry Mad

In an effort to keep Mad Cow Disease from spreading throughout our nation's cattle, the USDA today issued new qualifications for all cattle destined for human consumption.

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Funny story: USDA Debunks Mad Cow Myths

USDA Debunks Mad Cow Myths

The discovery of mad cow disease in Washington state has had predictable results. Since the U.S. Department of Agriculture's December 23 announcement of the discovery of an infected cow, more than two dozen countries have banned U.S. beef import...

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Funny story: U.S. Seized By NUTS

U.S. Seized By NUTS

Close on the heels of the worldwide SARS scare, and with the country battling a burgeoning influenza epidemic, the U.S. Center for Disease Control has released the results of its investigation of a mysterious ailment appearing in many states.

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