One of the mandates of the new bailout to insurance company AIG is that they must change their name to something more appropriate. Their original title - American Insurance Group - suggests that they are patriotic and believe in the principals th...
New York, New York After a brief commercial break, we find the cooperate homemaker and convicted felon, Martha Stewart, and the former waitress turned baby boomer financial wizard, Suze Orman, on location at Martha Stewart's ranch late at night, w...
BROOKLYN - Salvatore "The Pizzaman" Goombalini, who is the head of the Goombalini Family, which is one of New York City's most infamous mob organizations has stated that the nation's economic crisis is literally killing his 'company.' Sal did apo...
Officials inside the Obama Administration have privately confirmed that the $170bn bailout check issued by the US government to AIG has been returned for insufficient funds. A rueful and embarrassed President Barack Obama acknowledged that, due t...
Washington,DC/ Senatorial News - Genocide amongst Democrats continues apace, as panic attacks threaten to freeze progress in the New Administration, and Liberals continue to flail out with long sharp knives to keep from having their short comings dis...
After a psychological test, all members of the government have been officially registered as insane, and have been transferred out of harms way to a very comfortable nursing home-cum-asylum somewhere near Brighton. The crunch came as a result of t...
(Washington, D.C.) It was an overlooked agenda item at the White House Forum on Health Reform Thursday, but it is one in which President Obama and his Director of Domestic Policy Council, Melody Barnes, are placing a good deal of weight. It is an "au...
Sources within the White House have revealed that Barack Obama has assigned twelve billion dollars or the Bailout funds to friend Oprah Winfrey. The actress/talk show host will receive one of the first stimulus checks that is being used to bolster t...
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida - The Assistant Director of NASA, Bradford Ian Friendfield, has written a letter to President Barack Obama demanding that the United States government provide the NASA space program with $13 billion. Friendfield said that b...
Student loans in the UK have now been classified as toxic debt because it seems unlikely that graduates will ever earn enough to pay them off. As the job situation worsens, more and more school leavers are expected to take places at the rapidly ex...
$100 for Snuggie for Senator Byrd. $2,000 for four cases of Beano for Senator McCain if he'll stop saying, "I just blew you a kiss." $200,000 to keep Cindy Sheehan camped outside Bush ranch. $1,000,000 for Jeremiah Wright to shut his yap about America's chickens coming to roost. $150 for new basketball goal set up in White House basement. $20,000 to provide Senator Craig his own pri...
Washington,DC/ Investors Business Daily - President Barry Obama, fresh from pledging the nation's financial future in the $3 trillion dollar trashing of America, has now pledged to balance the nation's budget WITHIN the next 4 years! Taking a pag...
Since the Republicans unanimously voted against the bailout package, Republican districts will receive zero dollars from the recovery package signed by President Obama. Running up and down the steps of Air Force One, in Denver, Colorado, the zer...
Washington, DC - President Barack Obama has begun sending 10,000 more ground troops to Afghanistan as soon as they finish their training at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. According to Reginald Feeler, a spokesperson for Vice President, Joe Biden, "They...
NEW YORK, N.Y. - Mr. Rockenfella announced today, to a large crowd on the street, that bankers here are turning to the public for a bailout. Billions of dollars just can't fill the bill for this item. "Many of us bankers here are misplacing the l...
President Obama named his former pastor Jeremiah Wright as head of Indian affairs last week Today Rev Wright met with the Cherokee Tribe in North Carolina. The Reverend began "Now listen here -- the white man is hurting and as we all know that tr...
British car makers have yesterday been promised a vital fiscal stimulus by the government. "We are desperate, and this will be a lifeline" said a spokesman from Armstrong-Siddeley, who are busy building the "Flying F" saloon for Government use. "This...
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