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Funny satire stories about Vuvuzelas

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Funny story: World Cup Conspiracy Leaked

World Cup Conspiracy Leaked

After the recent failed attempts by football supporters' organisations to have the vuvuzelas banned at the World Cup matches in South Africa, news has spread of a possible conspiracy to silence the vuvuzelas once and for all-by knocking all the Afric...

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Funny story: Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive

Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive

Soccer fans in South Africa aren't the only ones complaining about the constant buzzing of the vuvuzelas during the World Cup. Local South African farmers are surprised at the results the buzzing is having on their livestock. The noise is having a...

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Funny story: Vuvuzelas Can Be Heard 'Even After TV Has Been Switched Off'

Vuvuzelas Can Be Heard 'Even After TV Has Been Switched Off'

Viewers of the BBC's World Cup coverage have swamped the organisation's switchboard in recent days complaining that the droning that accompanies the football matches can be heard 'even after TV sets have been turned off'. The Beeb said this morni...

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Funny story: BBC 'Buzz Off' World Cup

BBC 'Buzz Off' World Cup

Fans may soon have the option to cut out the sound of the vuvuzela horns when watching the World Cup on TV. The BBC is investigating ways of transmitting an alternative feed of matches on the red button which would limit the buzzing sound made by...

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Funny story: Vuvuzela banned - stadiums at risk of collapse

Vuvuzela banned - stadiums at risk of collapse

The Loftus Versfeld stadium is in serious danger of collapse if too many Vuvuzela horns are brought to the South Africa v Uruguay game tonight. Structural engineers have stated that the resonance of the deafening horns is strong enough to set up a...

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Funny story: The Beckhams to call next son Jabulani Vuvuzela

The Beckhams to call next son Jabulani Vuvuzela

England football mascot David Beckham has decided his next son will be named Jabulani Vuvuzela Beckham after two of the most annoying pieces of plastic ever invented. The much maligned Jabulani football and the irritating Vuvuzela horn have receiv...

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Funny story: Vuvuzela's are Phallic Symbols

Vuvuzela's are Phallic Symbols

Penelope never watched football but she could hear it. 'What's that terrible noise?' she asked her mother 'why on earth are people putting up with that?' 'People are blowing into horns known as Vuvuzela's to make a sound of celebration.' 'Those Vuvu's are like long pricks' said Penelope. 'Yes, that's why men like them darling.' 'Boys at school are very proud of theirs, but they don't b...

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Funny story: EU considering vuvu ban

EU considering vuvu ban

"There are more enjoyable ways of becoming deaf." This was the joke circulating yesterday in Brussels after an EU Commission spokesman had explained the current reasoning behind the planned ban of vuvuzelas in the EU at the daily meeting with the pre...

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Funny story: President Obama Set to Tackle Next Big Challenge: Vuvuzelas

President Obama Set to Tackle Next Big Challenge: Vuvuzelas

President Obama will soon be on his way to South Africa to try and get the South Africans to relinquish their cherished vuvuzela horns so that the rest of the FIFA World Cup can be played in peace. The eyes of the world are now on Barack "the Fixer"...

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Funny story: Mick McCarthy In BBC Vuvuzela Cock-Up

Mick McCarthy In BBC Vuvuzela Cock-Up

Hundreds of irate callers jammed BBC switchboards last night with complaints about Mick McCarthy's seemingly off the cuff remark about vuvuzelas. For some obscure reason, the fans in South Africa insist on blowing these infernal trumpets, giving the...

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Funny story: The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding

The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding

TOKYO - Dr. Choofi Hirocheeto, one of the world's foremost experts on noise, has commented in several publications including the highly prestigious Hey What The Hell Was That Noise Illustrated Monthly, that the sound of the African trumpets known as...

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Funny story: South African Security Stewards Begin Riot Over Pay in Vuvuzelas

South African Security Stewards Begin Riot Over Pay in Vuvuzelas

Durban, South Africa - A small riot broke out shortly following the soccer match in Durban between Germany and Australia over what was eventually deemed a protest by Security Stewards over the pay they received for a long day of working the soccer ma...

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Funny story: South African FA admit to piping the sound in

South African FA admit to piping the sound in

The most talked about thing at this year's world cup is not the defence of Italy, the ruthlessness of the Germans, the cheating French or the over-hyped English. It's the horns. The constant mosquito like buzz that accompanies every match has draw...

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Funny story: South Africans Walking Around With Vuvuzelas Up Their Arses

South Africans Walking Around With Vuvuzelas Up Their Arses

Capetown, South Africa - The only fans in South Africa who appreciate the vuvuzela horn is the South African. To the rest of the world, it is a sound not unlike fingernails going down a chalkboard and is highly disruptive to a soccer match where the...

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Funny story: ESPN Sports Analyst Steve McManaman Blames The Opening Game of The World Cup Tie on The Dreaded Vuvuzelas Bees

ESPN Sports Analyst Steve McManaman Blames The Opening Game of The World Cup Tie on The Dreaded Vuvuzelas Bees

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - Many of the world' sports writers covering The 2010 FIFA World Cup Finals are in agreement that something needs to be done about the vuvuzelas situation. Many compare the annoying as hell sound to a swarm of bees, othe...

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