In light of criticism of the current voting system in the UK, top officials from Number 10 have announced a new and improved way to attract voters of all generations. The two candidates will be placed in seperate rooms for a thirty second voting s...
Barry forgot to tell Michelle to say on point during her recent fiery address to the NAACP where she urged members to intensify their efforts to put pressure on government to grant more entitlements and encouraged more felons to get out and vote.
The governments latest proposal to remove the vote from all time serving criminals is welcomed by most intelligent Britons. However many believe now is the time to take the idea a little further and remove the franchise from all convicted criminals on a permanent basis. Let's face the fact that criminals choose to live outside the rules of decent society and prey upon the law abiding and as su...
The first casualty of the UK 2010 General Election was reported just moments after polling stations opened, when Bolton man Krystov Kowalski, a construction worker, shot himself in the kneecap with a nail gun as he attempted to lodge a tactical vote.
In a desperate attempt to attract new voters, the Government has decided to allow babies and young children to vote as well. Ballot papers will be posted through the vagina of pregnant women along with election communication to allow babies to co...
A floating voter has spoken out against all news channels on television including The BBC News and SKY News for being totally undemocratic. Only establishment point of view is allowed there is no Democracy as the same two party system is shoved down...
Election subcontracting giant OneDollarOneVote, Inc (NASDAQ symbol ODOV) announced today an election auction to be held in November. "Money is speech", said spokesman Clarence Thomas, "And when money talks, we listen!" ODOV's right to spend unl...
Analysts working for CYNIC, the market research firm hired by the Government to give it unbiased predictions, today announced that it forecast a turnout of 0% for the next General Election. 'Taking all things into account', Professor Hawkings of t...
KABUL, Afghanistan - At least eight rockets pummeled Kabul, the Afghan capital, shortly before dawn on Tuesday, as the Taliban kicked off early voting, said Afghan officials. No one was injured by these tactical ballots cast for The Insurgent Part...
ST. PAUL - In a repeat of the contentious battle for ballots between Norm Coleman and Al Franken for a Senate seat, Minnesotans have split once more. The initial tally of votes was so close that it triggered an automatic recount. Out of some 3 mi...
Transylvania: The Transylvanian Republikanz and Demokratic Senatorial candidates' leads keep seesawing back and forth by a few hundred votes. The 1500 disqualified ballots will now be hand counted to determine the winner. Each Senatorial candidat...
Very angry prOtestors appeared ouTsidE the MajestiC cApItol buIldiNg TODAY in washington dc to protest against rising oil prices. obserVers called the Odd event '...a specTacle of public pridE...' another went as far as to say '...My son Could be...
Psychics sit back and look over your shoulder to read the past and future. They insist they see things as clearly as the desk. They haven't a clue who you are, yet they can tell amazing stories. News pundits study opinion polls, scrutinize speeches, writings and voting habits to understand the ranking of the hour's favorite candidate. They give opinions on news programs: "Obama used t...
North Canton, Ohio (Icky Sticky Press) - Fending off nationwide controversy regarding the security of its electronic voting machines once again, Diebold Election Systems now claims that its products are safe and that corrupt human beings are the prob...
A Washington state woman recently admitted that she registered her dog Duncan as a voter and allowed him to cast absentee ballots in several elections.
ITV's X-Factor has suffered another massive blow after they illegally charged for phone calls this week. ICTIS the phone line watchdog was publishing results of its investigation into the popular programme but before it did, it phoned the product...
Boca Raton, FL - In the worst case scenario of worst case scenarios voting machines across the country have returned preliminary results declaring that the next President of the United States will be Rev. Al Sharpton.
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