HOLLYWOOD, CA - "The people of Cauliflower-nia have spoken," said Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Let's just say tourin' out for 'Special Election II' vwahs... not so vantastic." In fact, turnout was dismal, drawing only a tiny portion of the sta...
With a click of the mouse you too can give your opinion about which of the favorites on the Britain's Got Talent television show will go on to the finals: Susan Boyle or Shaheen Jafargholi. Susan Boyle is an unassuming middle-aged woman, apparent...
Transylvania: The Transylvanian Republikanz and Demokratic Senatorial candidates' leads keep seesawing back and forth by a few hundred votes. The 1500 disqualified ballots will now be hand counted to determine the winner. Each Senatorial candidat...
After years of struggling to get the evangelical vote, the Democratic party have finally worked out a way to reach out to those crazy Christian voters. Their election strategy is to subtly use the idea of the "rapture" and the second coming of Jesus...
"I feel like a man," said my 19 year old nephew after casting his ballot the other day. He'd waited on line three times to vote, each time having to leave for class or some other obligation. Finally he waited an hour and a half and did it. He voted on each initiative, and chose among 13 presidential candidates, then spoke to me cogently about his choices. That little boy is now a man...
After twenty-one months of the most grueling political marathon in Presidential campaign history, pollsters report that there are still a significant number of potential voters who identify as undecided. Neither party can believe that after millions...
Seattle, Washington - ATM customers across the country are reporting banking errors to their branch managers, complaining that every time they withdraw cash at the automated teller machine, they get a prerecorded message thanking them for casting the...
Philadelphia PA-- Voters going to polling stations next month may be in for some surprises. Homeland Insecurity has installed electronic touch pads equipped with the latest in nanotechnology and computer software. Many voters may wish to bring an a...
Sun City, Arizona - In a desperate bid to prop up his ailing presidential campaign, Senator John McCain has changed his name to McCane. The name change follows a similar one by the Obama camp to remove Hussein as his middle name. According to Ral...
Barack Obama's newest challenge has left him wondering what to do with the nearly 70% of Californians residing in Los Angeles. With all but one swing voting group in his pocket, Barack is going after the one constituency that has eluded every presid...
The impartial League of Women Voters has been in discussion with both the GOP and Dem campaign managers and for the first time is making a political statement. "We at The League of Women Voters are intervening in this divisive Presidential campaign i...
Very angry prOtestors appeared ouTsidE the MajestiC cApItol buIldiNg TODAY in washington dc to protest against rising oil prices. obserVers called the Odd event '...a specTacle of public pridE...' another went as far as to say '...My son Could be...
In a shock move, many millions of Americans have decided not to vote for a new president. Mr Um Bongo, from Minnesota said: 'We voted last time, look what we got. I don't know anyone who voted for the President, and we were still stuck with him. N...
Some states allow imprisoned felons to vote, others only parolees, some only probationnaires and then there are those that make you pay your full debt to society. In two states, Kentucky and Virginia, you are never allowed to vote again, but a bi...
In a brilliant political maneuver, the GOP has found a clever way to empower one of their largest constituencies and gain more votes. Fetuses prefer the Party of No Choice 10 to 1. Ultra-sound studies from the labs of mad scientist Dr James Dobso...
Henry Crankshaft, a Labour voter from Westhoughton near Manchester, shocked the British world of politics when he knocked on the door of number 10 Downing Street earlier this morning seeking a refund.
The results of the BBC's Worst 10 Eurovision Songs vote was announced today, and here is the list. * 'La la la la la', by Sweden's The Bjeardies. * 'Oompa Oompa, Ra Ra Ra', by Switzerland's Christine Dior. * 'Death To Turkish Cyprus', by Greece's Bubble and Squeaks. * 'Why Are We In A European Contest?', by Israel's The Mother-In-Laws. * 'Heil Heidi Heidi', by Germany's The Goosest...
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