I like to think I'm a pretty easy-going guy. I know that I'm not perfect, and I don't expect any future girlfriend of mine to be, either. As long as she is super attractive and still a virgin, nothing else really matters. I don't understand why it's been so hard to find a chick like that. I mean, it's not like I am saying she needs to have an IQ of 150, or know the stats of every player on the...
Los Angeles, CA - Oprah Winfrey has announced in her own magazine 'O' that she intends to stay a virgin until she is married "to set a good example for young women." Winfrey, who is 55 and a self made billionaire with a number of successful franch...
Kristen Stabler and Ryan Hokum, both of Havertown, Maryland, engaged in their first coital act together Saturday night while the menu of the DVD they had been watching looped continuously. The DVD in question, Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Ho...
It has been claimed that Queen Elizabeth 2 is a virgin queen. For some time there have been rumours but it is only now that relevant documents have been made available. It is believed that Prince Philip tried to consummate the marriage, but it was...
After a huge World survey was performed out of Boston, Massachusetts, it's been found that 99.9999999999 percent of brides have engaged in sexual intercourse before marriage. The revelation came as a shocker to the billion or so people in the wo...
In yet another sign of just how deep the global economic downturn has become, Al Queda announced today that it's Jihadi Retirement Fund may not be able to meet it's obligations in the near term. The JRF's chief financial officer acknowledged tha...
Vatican - Religious officials announced the end of terrorism by fanatical Muslims when 3 members of the Christian Secret Service managed to penetrate, and assassinate the 72 Virgins in Heaven awaiting Muslims upon their death. When news of the pe...
Gertrude Spotsinsky, the United States' last known virgin over the age of 13, confided in her best friend that she was "weakening" this past Tuesday. "It's hard to resist Mark," she explained, with a faraway look in her eye, "He knows the words to...
In Israel today Ahmed Al Mahed was resuscitated after a suicide bomb attack in Jerusalem and questioned by police. He had some dramatic news for other would-be suicide bombers. After the bombing, Al Mahed was clinically dead for ten minutes before...
A French court of appeal has overruled the decision to annul the marriage of two Muslims because the bride had lied about being a virgin. Fatima Ras al-Slapper had married Ratchit al Haj bin Wankin in a Kandahar-style Muslim wedding ceremony in t...
We've all heard that some people keep their self pure until marriage. But one Thaddeus B. Jerkwell takes that to a whole other level. Mr. Jerkwell is ninety years old. In the small town of Winchester, Kansas where everyone and their Mum's have a...
Clara Meadmore the "105 year old virgin" has been exposed as Eva Braun, the former lover of all round Nazi fruit loop Adolf Hitler. In an exclusive we can reveal today that Meadmore who has actually resided in the UK since late 1945 after the stag...
Omaha, Nebraska was the site of the first known Shark pathenogenesis or virgin birth. There a hammerhead female who had never been in a tank with a male in her life (or so she said...) Now another miracle birth has occurred in Virginia. An Atlantic B...
BRITAIN'S oldest virgin who celebrated her 105th birthday this weekend says that, despite the secret to her long life being No Sex, she had decided to invite a man around on her big day. Purple Clara Meadmore, who looks 'not a day over 102', sa...
Virgin birth has been confirmed. Scientists in Virginia used DNA testing to establish that a female managed to carry a fetus without any exposure to males. The pregnant female, known by the code name Tidbit, died under routine circumstances, and a...
Designer cosmetic surgery has come a long way since facelifts started it all way back in the fashion-conscious 1970s, but today's women have more on their minds than what their faces look like - they want their vaginas looking their best as well!...
Mary the Mother of God or a Jewish pregnant teen with a great alibi is thought to be the only human to have experienced a virgin birth. Parthenogenesis has been observed in certain frogs but never in a human woman who has given birth five times.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
