Vatican City -- An offer by Pope Francis to reduce Purgatory time for Catholics who embrace the "miracle of social media" has led to a massive and sudden selloff of real estate in Purgatory. As a result, prices for Purgatory condos have been slas...
Rome - Revelations Chapter 666, page 9/11 about covert buggery of Paypal [sic] vestments have triggered an offer of Holy Sanctuary to the US fugitive from justice who could be fast-tracked to sainthood if he accepts the Vatican citizenship offer.
Rome - Top knobs running the Vatican Bank fell on their tarnished swords this morning amid aftershocks in the latest money laundering scandal to grip the Holy C. Bank director Renzo Dolcelatte and his deputy Massimo Gorgonzola have fled the Bank's...
Rome - A Vatican Airways cargo plane loaded with €20m of illicit cash stuffed into North Face-Off zip-up holdalls was readying to take off from Switzerland's Gnomes of Zurich Airport when police swooped late last night. The seizure, part of an ong...
Rome - His Holiness has blamed a lurid Catacombs sex club called St Sebastian's Passageway for an outbreak of homosexuality in the Vatican. "At its core is a gay lobby," Pope Frankie the Argie said today, "swathed in peach-colored ruched silk drap...
Fr. Gabriel Amorth, The Head of International Association of Exorcists which is a Vatican sanctioned organization has recently made the claim that he has rid the world of 160,000 demons and sent them back to Hell. Fr. Amorth was one of the exorcists...
Chaos reigned on Vatican City last night after The Pope used a televised interview in which he was supposed to be confronting the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal to passionately condemn pesto. When asked how he intended to rebuild The Church an...
Joan and Melissa Rivers have given two big thumbs up to the Pope on his fashion choice. From his Chanel inspired overcoat to his Vera Wang lace under dress ending up on his ruby red slippers, Joan Rivers says outta the park. From a...
"Mamma mia, I resigned too soon," he's told friends. He had hoped to find another job, but he didn't realize that there aren't many to be found in this economy. Word is he's been pounding the pavement; but, so far, no luck. Potential employers are...
Cheyenne, Wyoming -- The Tribal Gathering Is taking the Catholic Church to court over its use of smoke signals to announce papal election results. "Just because you know how to build a fire doesn't mean you can steal our proven communications tech...
The outgoing Chief Rabbi of the UK, Lord Dr Jonathan Sachs, has made a magnanimous offer to the College of Cardinals in the Vatican by offering to become the new Pope. His office said that he made the offer for a number of reasons, some practical...
The world was stunned early this morning as brown smoke spewed from the Vatican chimney. "What does this mean? What has happened? Have the Cardinals lost their minds?" As the media speculated and the worlds Catholics tried desperately to make se...
In a press release issued today, barbecue maker Char-Broil announced the company has won the contract to supply the Vatican stoves used in the process to select the next pope. "It's basically our model number 600-series combination grill and smo...
Rome - "Kinda puts the 'condom' back in 'condominium', heheh," is how one GayTripAdvisa.con reviewer put it this morning as the story went viral in cyberspace. News that a palatial 12-room apartment housing the Vatican's top gay exorcist is connec...
In a shock announcement by the Vatican today, it has been confirmed that Simon Cowell, the mastermind behind popular talent shows such as "Britain's Got Morons" and "£X-Factor" is being drafted in to bring some life to the process for choosing a new...
The Vatican -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is moving to complete a deal that would make him the second Jewish Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. "St. Peter was Jewish and he turned out to be the indestructible rock God chose to head his ch...
ROME, ITALY - Now ex-Pope Benedict XVI has given his first interview since retirement to Italian media channel "Televisio El Italiano" from his Roman mansion earlier today. The interviewer questioned him on such topics as "why the big hat?", "how do you wash the big hat?" and "can I have a big hat?" The Pope simply waved his hand and explained. "My name is Cardinal Ratzinger, please. I am Pope...
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