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Funny satire stories about Vampires

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Funny story: "He tried to bite me" - Teenage girl's horror as date with vampire goes wrong

"He tried to bite me" - Teenage girl's horror as date with vampire goes wrong

Leesa, 16, of Alabama today told of her shock when a date with a vampire almost ended in disaster. "I thought he would write poetry and say really deep things" she sobbed "but he wasn't like that at all. Then he got all fangy and tried to bite me...

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Funny story: Professor Fred Quatermass States - "It's No Use Counting On Zombies To Fight Alien Space Vampires"

Professor Fred Quatermass States - "It's No Use Counting On Zombies To Fight Alien Space Vampires"

Professor Fred Quatermass was apparently at it again this morning, as he advised NASA, the North Aberdeen Space Association, that it would be pretty pointless expecting the dead to rise again as reanimated zombies, in order to fend off an alien invas...

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Funny story: Shakira and Sofia Vergara To Star In "The Cuties of Colombia Vs. The Vampires of Venezuela

Shakira and Sofia Vergara To Star In "The Cuties of Colombia Vs. The Vampires of Venezuela

HOLLYWOOD - Lion's Face Films in association with Sand Castle Pictures will soon start production on Bandini Borrapelli's The Cuties of Colombia Vs. The Vampires of Venezuela. Borrapelli has signed the world's most famous belly dancer Shakira to a...

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Funny story: Lions Face Films Cancels The Rob Pattinson - Taylor Lautner Movie 'The Amazing Secrets Of The Taliban' Due To Extreme Pressure From The Taliban

Lions Face Films Cancels The Rob Pattinson - Taylor Lautner Movie 'The Amazing Secrets Of The Taliban' Due To Extreme Pressure From The Taliban

LOS ANGELES - A spokesman representing Lions Face Films has informed the motion picture industry that production on The Amazing Secrets of The Taliban movie has been cancelled. Cleveland Clackerwitz a high ranking executive with Lions Face informe...

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Funny story: Adam Lambert, Clay Aiken, and Lance Bass To Star In "The Gay Barbarians Vs. The Vampires of Vancouver"

Adam Lambert, Clay Aiken, and Lance Bass To Star In "The Gay Barbarians Vs. The Vampires of Vancouver"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - TriMoon Films in association with TouchRock Pictures and The Candlelight Motion Picture Company has just announced that they will soon begin production on the latest film by noted Italian Director Bandini Borrapelli. The movie whi...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag To Replace Cheryl Cole and Join Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens in The TV Series "Vampire Vixens Gone Wild"

Heidi Montag To Replace Cheryl Cole and Join Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens in The TV Series "Vampire Vixens Gone Wild"

HOLLYWOOD - The producer of the soon-to-be filmed television series Vampire Vixens Gone Wild had to do some fancy maneuvering after one of the stars Cheryl Cole suddenly left America and returned to her home in England. Bandini Borrapelli informed...

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Funny story: Fears Grow For Amanda Holden In Backless Red Dress Vampire Scare

Fears Grow For Amanda Holden In Backless Red Dress Vampire Scare

Experienced celebrity stalker, Orlando Puckerbum, from Ryde, Isle Of Wight, last night revealed that he was becoming increasingly concerned about the physical welfare of top television celebrity, Britain's Got Talent judge, Amanda Holden. Puckerbu...

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Funny story: Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder To Star In "The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell"

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder To Star In "The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell"

LOS ANGELES - Lion's Face Films in association with The Monteverdi Brothers and TouchRock Films has announced that they are currently in production on the vampire-culinary epic The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell. The movie is set in the...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Cheryl Cole To Shoot The Pilot For The TV Series, 'Vampire Vixens Gone Wild'

Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Cheryl Cole To Shoot The Pilot For The TV Series, 'Vampire Vixens Gone Wild'

BURBANK - NBC has just announced that they will be shooting a television pilot based on the novel by Emersonetta P. Frizzantino titled Vampire Vixens Gone Wild. Frizzantino's book was loosely based on the 1896 novel by Carmelita Maidenhair-Tuscani...

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Funny story: Avram Grant rules himself out of running for vacant West Ham job

Avram Grant rules himself out of running for vacant West Ham job

Ex West Ham manager Avram Grant has ruled himself out of the running for the vacant manager's position at West Ham. The popular Israeli was the first name on the short list according to the Hammers' sex industry owners. Dildo magnet Karen Brady...

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Funny story: Vampire Dairies Shut Down - Lobov And Winkelholder Devastated

Vampire Dairies Shut Down - Lobov And Winkelholder Devastated

Hereford based dairy produce manufacturers, Vampire Dairies, have been shut down by their co-owners, Nina Lobov and Damian Winkelholder, following a dramatic downturn in turnover. "It was regrettable, but we had to take drastic action," Winkelhold...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart To Appear As Snow White In The Film, "Snow White And The Horny Vampire Hunters of Hungary"

Kristen Stewart To Appear As Snow White In The Film, "Snow White And The Horny Vampire Hunters of Hungary"

LOS ANGELES - The word coming out of the motion picture studios at Miramix Pictures is that Kristen Stewart, the star of the Twilight movies series, will be portraying Snow White in the Charleen Belle Pinnzucker production of Snow White And The Horny...

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Funny story: Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Heidi Montag Have Just Finished Filming Their X-Rated Movie "The Naked PMS'ing Lesbian Vampire Bitches From Hell"

Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Heidi Montag Have Just Finished Filming Their X-Rated Movie "The Naked PMS'ing Lesbian Vampire Bitches From Hell"

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Heidi Montag were hanging out by the pool at Montag's $7.7 million Sherman Oaks mansion Plasticland Manor celebrating their soon-to-be released film, The Naked PMS'ing Lesbian Vampire Bi...

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Funny story: Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder's Titillating Tryst In Tarzana Is Exposed

Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder's Titillating Tryst In Tarzana Is Exposed

TARZANA, California - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, the stars of The Vampire Diaries, are fast becoming the most popular couple since Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora, up until Sambora started acting like he was the illegitimate son of Mick Jag...

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Funny story: Interview with a Vampire Sock

Interview with a Vampire Sock

The sock arrived at midnight. He looked like a glove puppet floating in mid air, but of course he wasn't. He was magic. He was a magic vampire sock, who had long since left his earthly role as a human foot warmer behind. He told me this as I poured him a glass of wine. Cabinet Sauvignon, if I recall correctly. White wine, not red. He frowned at it as he told me his name was Louis. He said...

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Funny story: Shortage of Garlic on Isle of Wight Leaves Some Residents Frightened

Shortage of Garlic on Isle of Wight Leaves Some Residents Frightened

Global warming seems to be affecting many parts of the world with record floods, cold snaps, snow storms and even heat waves. These climactic changes are wreaking havoc on some of the world's agricultural crops and garlic is no exception. Garlic i...

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Funny story: Drug Of The Vampire: Chapter 5: A Day In the Office

Drug Of The Vampire: Chapter 5: A Day In the Office

Previous chapters: Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. "Mr Higgins, I presume" said Von Haelstrom, as he swept into the study, smiling widely and extending his long fingered hand in greeting. "Very good to make your acquaintance sir," said Higgins, slightly taken aback and sheepishly accepting the handshake. Being a country boy, he had never met a man of Von Haelstrom's soc...

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