London - (Pie-in-the-Sky): They went to court to try and stop it because of massive black hole and red dwarf fears in HM's zodiac chart. But Monday's meet-up between NASA's Stardust-NExT spacecraft and Comet Tempel-1 Mount will take place regardle...
With February 14th rapidly approaching the time to express true love has come. So happy couple David Cameron and Nick Clegg, in a ground breaking agreement, have vowed to love each other until it is no longer reasonable to do so. 'This is such...
EARTH - As people across the globe attempt to spend time with their loved ones, most are turning to the roots of St. Valentine. Valentine, which is derived from Valentinus, and means worthy man, so if you think you have a hell of a guy, he's a lit...
With Valentine's Day fast approaching it's time again for all the big supermarkets to cash in and rip people off. First in were Marks & Spencer who are offering a beautiful 3 course romantic dinner for two lovebirds for only £20. Spokesman fo...
Rome - Love or else. That's the message Roman deity Cupid wants everyone to consider this Valentine's Day. The winged God is trading in his trademark bow and arrow for something more affective. "I can't hit s**t with a bow," Cupid admits. Poor...
Seismologists all around the world reported increased Richter scale activity on Valentine's Day. This activity was not centered on any one location, but was reported on most of the world's land masses. "I definitely felt the Earth move last night...
London - (Hong Kong or King Kong?): A magnificent Valentine's Day conjunction of the Sun, Moon and Neptune this Sunday promises an apocalyptic start to the Chinese New Year. Dazzling portents herald the Return of the Tigress, a rare twist on tradi...
Business flop Charles Roberts from South Africa has had as many failed business ideas as Gordon Brown has had complaints about his leadership of the Labour Loony Party. Charles ordered 100,000 boxes of chocolates from Cadburys or is it Kraft to be...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock today narrowly averted making a complete and utter arse of himself on Valentine's Day thanks to an eagle eyed mate of his who'd popped round for a cup of tea on his way to the shops for a paper and a bottle of milk. Sh...
There was much hilarity in our office today when staffer Bargis Tryhol - the man with the world's largest penis - got a suggestive Valentine card in the post purporting to be from none other than Katie "Jordan" Price, although we couldn't possibly sw...
Khor Fakkhan, Dubai - (Nuptial Mess): The solicitors' voucher was a runaway success at its December launch last year when hundreds were given and/or received by warring marrieds in need of some friendly legal advice. This week, as she tans her tri...
Sales of chocolates specifically Terry's All Gold have gone through the roof since the stories regarding former England team captain John Terry. Supermarkets throughout the country are reporting record sales of Terry's All Gold and are having to orde...
In a shocking announcement by the top three greeting card companies around the world, Valentine's Day will be cancelled, starting this February 14th, 2010. Pauly Moshun, spokesman for the Acme Greeting Card Company, tells reporters, "It was a diff...
In Khartoum, Sudan Senior Muslim clerics have urged Sudanese youngsters to boycott Valentine's Day, saying it is a Western institution that could lead couples astray away from arranged marriages to older more mature men. Members of the Sudan Ulem...
Welldidja Siyatcoming, Idaho - What began as a not as friendly as it should have been treat between lovers quickly turned to a town reeking of Utter Indifference today. Chocolates filled with the fabled Love Potion #9, and marketed directly by the Wo...
London - (Branch Davidians Copycat Mess): Fears are growing about the troubled UK Puppet Monarchy 'doing a St Valentine's Day Waco' after the European Court of Human Frights ordered the entire spoof dynasty to undergo compulsory equality training and...
St. Valentines Day is just around the corner, and the worsening economy dealt a blow to the official day of chocolate today. Heavenly Creations, the company which supplies Arrows of Love to Cupid, has announced that the rising cost of Love Potion #9...
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