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Funny satire stories about Unemployment

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Funny story: Riot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!

Riot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!

There was panic in Nottingham city centre this morning, when it was mistakenly published in the 'Free paper', that the Jobcentre Plus on Parliament Street had got 333 new jobs just come in, in error for 3 new jobs. As soon as the crowd rushed the...

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Funny story: Liverpool Unemployment Shock

Liverpool Unemployment Shock

A new study has revealed the astonishing fact that there are now 3.9 million households in Britain where not one person works, and whose only income consists entirely of welfare benefits. The study, which was undertaken by the Confederation of Dis...

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Funny story: Job Centre Conundrum

Job Centre Conundrum

The Government announced that strange new powers were to be granted to Job Centre staff. As well as teaching them advanced telepathy, speed wanking to Facebook profiles they will be given the ability to order people to work for free before they are a...

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Funny story: Many Youngsters Still Refusing To Work For Nothing!

Many Youngsters Still Refusing To Work For Nothing!

The government is to finally clamp down hard on unemployed work-shy youths who refuse to work for nothing. The promise to deal with the problem of 'youths with principles' who continue to expect to be paid for their labour was made by the Prime M...

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Funny story: Adopt an unemployed person scheme in pipeline

Adopt an unemployed person scheme in pipeline

A controversial new scheme announced by George Osborne today will give tax payers the opportunity to 'adopt' an unemployed person for as little as £5 a month. The scheme will provide bi-monthly updates on how the jobless adoptee is progressing in...

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Funny story: Baby Boombers Starting to Turn

Baby Boombers Starting to Turn

Emmaus, PA - The smell of something rotten is in the air in Emmaus. Emmaus, according to local constable Finass, used to smell pretty fine. But now the constable often complains of bad odors, especially when called upon to arrest one of the many ba...

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Funny story: Jobless Youth Finally Sort Themselves Out

Jobless Youth Finally Sort Themselves Out

Feelings of total ambivalence overtook each other today as 2,000 mud-slinging, disease ridden peasants of the underworld descended on Trafalgar Square. Cries of outrage and shrieks of gay abandonment were heard for miles around as thirty years of...

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Funny story: USA discovers way to eliminate unemployment

USA discovers way to eliminate unemployment

Unemployment statistics in the US plummeted this month, as another 100,000 people gave up looking for work. People who have given up looking for a job do not count in the official statistics. It is not known what has happened to those people. They...

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Funny story: Unemployment: The Truth Revealed

Unemployment: The Truth Revealed

It was claimed the so-called truth drug was slipped into the glass of water that welcomed the Minister of Employment when he visited a group of unemployed people who wanted to ask him questions. Here are the revelations which will shock a nation! 'Why is Unemployment so high' was the first question. 'Well, if everyone is afraid of being unemployed wages can be reduced and conditions for...

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Funny story: Benefit cuts to be slashed and then tripled

Benefit cuts to be slashed and then tripled

UK Government plans to slash benefits and then re-assess (with added leniency) Hard hitting government think tank "Chav Tolchock" has put pressure on government to rethink the way benefits are run in the country. People who claim to be unable to w...

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Funny story: General Practitioners To Monitor The Unemployed

General Practitioners To Monitor The Unemployed

The General Medical Council has reportedly issued new guidelines for GPs, directing them to question patients regarding their current employment status and offering advice on how a return to employment can be advantageous to their health and wellbein...

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Funny story: £740 million expansion plans by the Two Nottingham Malls - With Citizen's Views

£740 million expansion plans by the Two Nottingham Malls - With Citizen's Views

In the middle of this depression, and with the highest levels ever known of unemployed in Nottingham, the two owners of Nottingham's shopping centres plan to expand! Victoria Shopping Centre - Nottingham Management Comment: We believe it is a good time to invest in the Victoria Centre and Nottingham. Their proposals: * An additional 500,000sq feet extension. * £240+ million investm...

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Funny story: Government and DWP announce new Yob Centres

Government and DWP announce new Yob Centres

The Government, through the Department for Work and Pensions, has announced the introduction of new Yob Centres aimed especially at the work-shy, brain dead and late-teen New Direction fans. Tastefully decorated in appealing "street pizza" pattern...

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Funny story: Nottingham Market Square Demonstrations lose out to JCP phenomenon!

Nottingham Market Square Demonstrations lose out to JCP phenomenon!

The combined demonstrations of the 'Occupation of the Nottingham Market Square', and the 'The Hardest Hit campaign Demo', were put into the shade yesterday, as it was discovered that Two teenagers had obtained jobs through the local JCP (Jobcentre Pl...

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Funny story: Great Britain PLC on a new high - unofficially leaked information!

Great Britain PLC on a new high - unofficially leaked information!

"The UK is on so many highs at the moment, so we should not be putting down these record breaking efforts created by the Coalition Government". The claim comes from the Chancellor of the Exchequer's second secretary's assistant filing clerk's part...

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Funny story: 750,000 hired to watch television

750,000 hired to watch television

WASHINGTON - In a ground-breaking move to cure the problem of unemployment the federal government has hired 750,000 unemployed workers to watch television. The ground-breaking move was the brain child of the Department of Labor, which decided that...

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Funny story: Obama to use Carpenters to Fix Nation's Bridges

Obama to use Carpenters to Fix Nation's Bridges

DETRIOT - Obama gave the American public a rousing speech on Monday revolving around the issue of unemployment, claiming that America has "numerous roads and bridges that need rebuilding and over a million unemployed construction workers to rebuild t...

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