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Funny satire stories about Toilet Paper

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Funny story: Butt Floss Patented for the Painfully Rotund

Butt Floss Patented for the Painfully Rotund

Struggling to identify new product offerings in the toilet tissue marketplace, Sharminn Company announced today that it will be releasing a new line of personal cleansing products for consumers of significantly wider girth. A common problem for mo...

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Funny story: Cuba's Ca Ca Crisis

Cuba's Ca Ca Crisis

HAVANA, CUBA Fidel Castro's little brother, Raul, has been forced to issue an executive order commanding all patriotic Cubans to refrain from defecating for the foreseeable future due to the total depletion of all available toilet paper supplies.

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Funny story: A Future without toilet paper

A Future without toilet paper

Recent studies suggest a future in which the use of absorbant rolls of disposable paper will no longer be required. For years, scientists have been developing new ways of making toilet paper more effecient at it's job but at the end of the day, i...

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Funny story: Iranian Protesters Toilet Paper Ahmadinejad's House

Iranian Protesters Toilet Paper Ahmadinejad's House

TEHRAN, Iran - Clips circulating on Reuters and Breitbart show several college-age Iranian protesters tossing around what appear to be rolls of toilet paper around the trees, fences, and roof of the estate of Iranian President Ahmadinejad. The I...

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Funny story: Inmates To Buy Own Toilet Paper

Inmates To Buy Own Toilet Paper

According to an AP Report, Inmates at the Des Moines County jail in Burlington may have to begin paying for toilet paper. The county is facing a more than $1.7 million deficit in this year's budget and the Board of Supervisors gave department hea...

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Funny story: Japanese Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Japanese Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in Japan have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. Japanese Government Directive 9753 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per p...

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Funny story: Irish Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Irish Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in the Republic of Ireland have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. EU Directive 2763 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per...

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Funny story: UK Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

UK Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in the United Kingdom have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. EU Directive 2763 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per perso...

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Funny story: U.S. Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

U.S. Toilet Roll shortage sparks "Panic buying"

Supermarket bosses in the U.S. have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. U.S. Government Directive 4187 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per pe...

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Funny story: Darling "one big bad bank" will turn toxic asses to profits

Darling "one big bad bank" will turn toxic asses to profits

Darling told the FootzWootz Times, in response to Brown's statements about bank executives not wiping themselves properly today, that one "big bad bank" is needed. "We need to take all these bankers who can't wipe themselves properly and place the...

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Funny story: Brown urges banks to 'wipe themselves clean'

Brown urges banks to 'wipe themselves clean'

The prime minister has demanded that banks admit how many "toxic asses" they have on their sheets. Gordon Brown told the Footzwootz Times the banks had to "wipe themselves clean" of toxic asses so people could stand the smell of them again. He...

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Funny story: Shock EU Toilet Paper Directive

Shock EU Toilet Paper Directive

In a move designed to promote health and hygeine the EU have announced that from April 2009 all toilet paper will be printed with instructions urging users to fit toilet paper so that it rolls off the FRONT of the roll rather than the back. Spoke...

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Funny story: Russell Brand's 'Booky Looky Wook' is toilet paper alternative says council!

Russell Brand's 'Booky Looky Wook' is toilet paper alternative says council!

Russell Brand's Booky Looky Kooky Wook will be used, as both reading material and toilet paper by Bottywotty Council, in the West Midlands. Local Councillor Arthur Askey said "We found toilet paper for our public conveniences a bit pricey. Then s...

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Funny story: Optimal toilet roll length

Optimal toilet roll length

After several years of study, and twenty blackboards, scientists at John Lennon's University, Liverpool, England, UK, the Earth have finally discovered the optimal length of toilet roll required to wipe any backside. "Basically," said Professor Ro...

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Funny story: Toilet Paper Shortage Worsens

Toilet Paper Shortage Worsens

The UK is officially in the grip of the worst toilet paper shortage in living memory. Government statistics show that in urban areas supplies are down to one sheet for every 100 people.

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Funny story: Contaminated Toilet Paper Found

Contaminated Toilet Paper Found

Washington DC: The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced today that Salmonella bacteria have been found in rolls of toilet paper. This finding was withheld from the general public for five days pending verification that it is the same strai...

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Funny story: Global Warming Accelerated Due To Excessive Use Of Toilet Paper

Global Warming Accelerated Due To Excessive Use Of Toilet Paper

Scientists working on research into the effects of Global Warming have said that they believe the climate of the Earth is being altered due primarily to the excessive use of toilet paper.

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