Tissue manufacturers are becoming increasingly concerned over the spread of a fungus apparently living off tissue paper which has been found in batches of tissues and toilet paper rolls across the globe. Once the fungus gets inside the pack of tissue it starts to make the tissue its home while travelling around the world for its customer. During this time it absorbs goodness in the tissue and i...
County Cork,Ireland/ Public School Hygienic News - The population of Ireland, riding on high economic times since the beginning of their self proclaimed "Celtic Tiger Economy" in 1995 peaking in 2007, are now faced with the reality that the boom da...
Struggling to identify new product offerings in the toilet tissue marketplace, Sharminn Company announced today that it will be releasing a new line of personal cleansing products for consumers of significantly wider girth. A common problem for mo...
HAVANA, CUBA Fidel Castro's little brother, Raul, has been forced to issue an executive order commanding all patriotic Cubans to refrain from defecating for the foreseeable future due to the total depletion of all available toilet paper supplies.
Recent studies suggest a future in which the use of absorbant rolls of disposable paper will no longer be required. For years, scientists have been developing new ways of making toilet paper more effecient at it's job but at the end of the day, i...
TEHRAN, Iran - Clips circulating on Reuters and Breitbart show several college-age Iranian protesters tossing around what appear to be rolls of toilet paper around the trees, fences, and roof of the estate of Iranian President Ahmadinejad. The I...
According to an AP Report, Inmates at the Des Moines County jail in Burlington may have to begin paying for toilet paper. The county is facing a more than $1.7 million deficit in this year's budget and the Board of Supervisors gave department hea...
Supermarket bosses in Japan have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. Japanese Government Directive 9753 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per p...
Supermarket bosses in the Republic of Ireland have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. EU Directive 2763 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per...
Supermarket bosses in the United Kingdom have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. EU Directive 2763 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per perso...
Supermarket bosses in the U.S. have been forced to come clean about the amount of 'Toilet roll' supplies held in reserve in warehouses across the country. U.S. Government Directive 4187 states that a minimum of 7.3 rolls of 'Toilet tissue' per pe...
Darling told the FootzWootz Times, in response to Brown's statements about bank executives not wiping themselves properly today, that one "big bad bank" is needed. "We need to take all these bankers who can't wipe themselves properly and place the...
The prime minister has demanded that banks admit how many "toxic asses" they have on their sheets. Gordon Brown told the Footzwootz Times the banks had to "wipe themselves clean" of toxic asses so people could stand the smell of them again. He...
In a move designed to promote health and hygeine the EU have announced that from April 2009 all toilet paper will be printed with instructions urging users to fit toilet paper so that it rolls off the FRONT of the roll rather than the back. Spoke...
Russell Brand's Booky Looky Kooky Wook will be used, as both reading material and toilet paper by Bottywotty Council, in the West Midlands. Local Councillor Arthur Askey said "We found toilet paper for our public conveniences a bit pricey. Then s...
After several years of study, and twenty blackboards, scientists at John Lennon's University, Liverpool, England, UK, the Earth have finally discovered the optimal length of toilet roll required to wipe any backside. "Basically," said Professor Ro...
The UK is officially in the grip of the worst toilet paper shortage in living memory. Government statistics show that in urban areas supplies are down to one sheet for every 100 people.
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