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Funny satire stories about Ted Cruz

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Funny story: Cruz Calls Trump "Labradoodle Liberal"

Cruz Calls Trump "Labradoodle Liberal"

BILLINGSGATE POST: In reply to Donald Trump calling him a "maniac" on FOX NEWS this Sunday, Senator Ted Cruz came back with a low-blow, counter punch that literally floored the Donald by referring to the man who has everything as a Labradoodle Liber...

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Funny story: Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand

Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand

WASHINGTON, D.C.--House Republicans today threatened to shut down the government unless the US Postal Service comes out with a new memorial stamp honoring free-market hero Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand, who was already memorialized in a postage stamp that ca...

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Denounces Canadian Citizenship

Queen Elizabeth Denounces Canadian Citizenship

BUCKINGHAM PALACE - Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II held a press conference today denouncing her Canadian citizenship. "I was born in the United Kingdom and lived exclusively in the United Kingdom. There have been trips across the pond. bu...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night

Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night

Honoring the famous sons and daughters of Canada, the Flin Flon Flayers of the Provincial and Extra-Provincial League will host Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night on August 15th when thy take on the Moose Jaw Motherchuckers at 7:05 Canadian Prairie Time.

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Funny story: Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Odessa Tx:Sen Ted Cruz(R)TX has a secret, and he is about to expose it in an upcoming issue of "Horse and Hound" magazine. Cruz has been busy doing a cover shoot for the equestrian inclined mag since April. "I'm sooooo excited about this cover...

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Funny story: Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Limbaugh has turned over a new leaf and has started criticizing Republican candidates. Hey, that's a good thing, right? Well... maybe. Depends on how you look at it. After all, "Truth is what works," as one famous American famously said. Recently, on his viral (or at least highly virulent) radio show, "Rush the Magic White Boy," sinister allegations started circulating about Ted...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Blocked On Facebook By His Own Mother

Ted Cruz Blocked On Facebook By His Own Mother

Texas Senator and presidential hopeful Ted Cruz (R), in an emotional interview with Fox News pundit Bill O'Reilly, revealed that his own mother recently blocked him on Facebook. This unprecedented act of maternal indifference comes at a very str...

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Funny story: Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Jeopardy! has been around since 1984, with 25 million regular viewers who try their best to shout out their own responses to the clues before the contestants. We marvel at Jeopardy! superstars like Ken Jennings, who held the champion spot for an incr...

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Funny story: Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Hopes Early Campaign Entry Will Divert Voters' Attention from More Important Issues, like Legitimate Candidates and Serious Domestic Problems

Ted Cruz Hopes Early Campaign Entry Will Divert Voters' Attention from More Important Issues, like Legitimate Candidates and Serious Domestic Problems

Rafael Edward Cruz, a first-term Senator from Texas, dispensing with any exploratory phase for his Presidential aspirations, delivered a formal speech during the weekly convocation at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia yesterday. The Bapti...

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Funny story: Candidate Cruz Says that Tax System Should Be "Voluntary"

Candidate Cruz Says that Tax System Should Be "Voluntary"

Special to TPN - Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) followed up his announcement that he was running for President in 2016 with this statement given to Matt Lauer of the Today Show: "I believe the IRS should be eliminated and taxes made voluntary. It wor...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

Ted Cruz Addresses the "Two Americas"

HOUSTON, TX--Aspiring presidential candidate and Tea Party darling Ted Cruz has taken a page from left-leaning populist and one-time presidential candidate John Edwards, to draw attention to what he is calling the "two Americas," comprising, in his v...

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Funny story: Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

Chris Christie refuses to shower in GOP locker room

DES MOINES, IA - It was reported today that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie refused to shower with other GOP hopefuls after the 2015 Freedom Summit hosted by Iowa Congressman Steve King. At the annual event several potential presidential candid...

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Funny story: Dr. Billingsgate Has Elephant Trunk Grafted To His Nose To Prove He's Republican

Dr. Billingsgate Has Elephant Trunk Grafted To His Nose To Prove He's Republican

BILLINGSGATE POST: Dr. Billingsgate, citing the dearth of leadership in the Republican Party, revealed that he recently had a baby elephant trunk grafted to his own snout to prove that he was a true Republican. Knowing that this might infuriate som...

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Funny story: Cruz Hopes to Bring Will Robinson, Jupiter 2 Crew Home

Cruz Hopes to Bring Will Robinson, Jupiter 2 Crew Home

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his first act as chair of the Senate subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness, Texas Senator Ted Cruz has pledged to focus all of NASA's resources on bringing Will Robinson and the crew of the Jupiter 2 back home to E...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'

Ted Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'

Washington--Republican firebrand Ted Cruz said today that "like those guys on TV," he too was "Jesus Charlie." He went on to denounce President Obama's recent proposal giving workers two free years of community college as "Obamacare for education."...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God

Ted Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was appointed the chair of the Senate subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness last week - which means he will be in charge of overseeing space agency NASA in Congress. He announced; "As the new head of The Commit...

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