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Funny satire stories about Somali Pirates

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Funny story: FBI to exchange marijuana for release of the skipper held by Somali pirates.

FBI to exchange marijuana for release of the skipper held by Somali pirates.

NAIROBIA, Kenya - FBI anti-hostage negotiators began handing joints to the Somali pirates in an effort Thursday to free an American cargo ship captain held captive on a lifeboat. A U.S. destroyer and a spy plane kept a close watch on the deal in the...

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Funny story: Hostages rescued but not by authorities

Hostages rescued but not by authorities

Hostages kept captive for nine days by Somali pirates in the capital city, Mogadishu, have been freed. News filtered through to English police that a hither to unknown person wearing a red cape and underpants on the outside of his uniform has man...

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Funny story: Reports that hostages may be free just "hot air"

Reports that hostages may be free just "hot air"

Unconfirmed reports have been leaked to the press suggesting that the 1500 Greenodd residents held hostage in Somalia may in fact be free. Somalian authorities have refused to confirm or deny these details and there is some confusion surrounding...

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Funny story: British authorities in quandry following Somali kidnapping

British authorities in quandry following Somali kidnapping

Following the dastardly kidnapping of 1500 residents from Greenodd Cumbria last Wednesday by Somali Pirates, British authorities have become flustered and more than a little apprehensive about what the Somali kidnappers will do to their hostages.

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Funny story: Somali pirates audacious kidnap of British town

Somali pirates audacious kidnap of British town

In amazing scenes unwitnessed in the annals of British history (um, I think so anyway), Somali pirates have kidnapped the entire town of Greenodd in Cumbria and flown all the residents to Mogadishu, the Somalian capital. British police believe th...

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Funny story: Pirates strike

Pirates strike

Shipping companies across the world are rocking at the news that Somali Pirates are to hold a series of one day strikes over pay and conditions. The Somalian Pirates are appalled at the conditions that they find on-board the ships that they steal,...

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Funny story: Somalian Tourist Industry Suffers After Wave Of Pirate Attacks

Somalian Tourist Industry Suffers After Wave Of Pirate Attacks

A string of pirate attacks off the east coast of Africa have left at least 17 dead, and the Somali tourist industry in tatters. "It has been a devastating blow to us." says Abdul El-Rashid, director of Somalia's Tourist Board. "Our beachfront ho...

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Funny story: Somali Pirates Hijack Airplane Survivors on the Hudson River

Somali Pirates Hijack Airplane Survivors on the Hudson River

For the past 24 hours, there has been growing speculation that the passenger count on the US Airways' Airbus that ditched in the Hudson was not accurate. Initially, it had been reported that there were 155 passengers and crew. Now, based on mis...

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Funny story: Somali pirates unfurl Jolly Roger

Somali pirates unfurl Jolly Roger

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a blatant act of defiance, many of the Somali pirates cruising the Gulf of Aden have taken to flying the so-called "Jolly Roger," a black flag with skull and crossbones often identified with pirate stereotypes. They have also t...

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Funny story: Al-Qaida and The Taliban Join Forces and Destroy The Somali Pirates

Al-Qaida and The Taliban Join Forces and Destroy The Somali Pirates

MOGADISHU, Somalia - A high ranking Al-Qaida general has reported that Al-Qaida and The Taliban joined forces and have completely destroyed the Somali pirates. Newspaper reports coming out of Mogadishu reported that Al-Qaida and The Taliban leader...

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Funny story: Santa Claus hijacked by Somali pirates

Santa Claus hijacked by Somali pirates

Christmas will never be the same again following the news that Santa Claus has been abducted by lawless Somali pirates in second hand SUVs whilst the Yuletide legend was doing his global delivery of presents on Christmas Eve. Reports say that the...

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Funny story: George Bush To Attack The Somali Pirates

George Bush To Attack The Somali Pirates

CRAWFORD, Texas - President George Bush spent two days at his 'Lazy Bar B Arrogant Longhorn Ranch' in Texas. And he had quite an inside story to tell the assembled media. Bush told reporters exactly what he plans to do once he leaves office in January. "Guys and gals," he said as he held a Big Red soda in one hand and a salsa-laden chip in the other, "First of all let me say that I hope y'al...

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Funny story: The Somali Pirates Vs. The USS Nimitz

The Somali Pirates Vs. The USS Nimitz

MOGADISHU, Somalia - It is being reported by CNN that the Somali pirates have apparently issued a stern warning to the United States. The leader of the Somali pirates, Maxamed 'Jolly Roger' Cilantro told CNN's Wolf Blitzer, "I have something to say to the American infidels who walk around arrogantly in their expensive Nike's and Adidas. Since January 1, 2008, my powerful band of pirates ha...

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Funny story: Somalia's Pirates Buy Tanks, Jets and Nukes

Somalia's Pirates Buy Tanks, Jets and Nukes

A Ukrainian ship supposedly seized by pirates off the coast of Somalia was carrying battle tanks, fighter jets and tactical nuclear weapons, the Ukrainian defence ministry has confirmed. Earlier, the country's foreign ministry said the ship and i...

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Funny story: Somali pirates blamed as Ozzie ladsmag loses 130,000 inflatable breasts

Somali pirates blamed as Ozzie ladsmag loses 130,000 inflatable breasts

Sydney, Australia - (ReUterus & Bare Ass Mess): "I blame them fetid Somali pirates, personally," was the only printable comment from Dave Skank, Editor of leading Ausralian ladsmag Rough! today. Skank, 69 has been left redfaced and 'feeling a...

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Funny story: Hillary Doesn't Want To Be Obama's Emissary to Somali Pirates

Hillary Doesn't Want To Be Obama's Emissary to Somali Pirates

The soon-to-be Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, is said to be balking at her first assignment. According to the next administration's inner circle, President-elect Obama has specifically directed Ms. Clinton to fly to Somalia on the very day of...

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Funny story: Somali Pirates hijack Int'l Space Station; holding astronauts and cosmonauts aboard hostage; NASA calls on Obama for advice

Somali Pirates hijack Int'l Space Station; holding astronauts and cosmonauts aboard hostage; NASA calls on Obama for advice

Huston, Texas - Fresh from their defeat at the animatronic hands of the "Prorates of the Caribbean", after escaping Disneyland security and smuggling themselves onboard the last shuttle flight that docked with the Int'l Space Station (ISS) last week,...

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