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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Costco woos millennials and illegals

Costco woos millennials and illegals

A NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR YOU -- Costco's sales have declined as millennials take their place as adults in society's workforce. Used to living at home and having mom and dad foot their bills, many of the latest generation don't want to own a house, muc...

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Funny story: Runaway Sale at Local Consignment Center--or not

Runaway Sale at Local Consignment Center--or not

Consignment centers all over Louisville experienced what one businessman said was the "anti Target" effect. Customers infuriated with Target's inability to safeguard their data, even though they became expert at guessing when a woman was goin...

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Funny story: Dyson invents bagless bags

Dyson invents bagless bags

Plastic grocery bags will soon be a thing of the past as the innovative British inventor, James Dyson has patented a bagless grocery bag. The bagless is a centrifugal force based superconducting gravity magnet which works by controlling gravity t...

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Funny story: Denny's and J.C. Penney's To Merge And Become Denny Penneys

Denny's and J.C. Penney's To Merge And Become Denny Penneys

PLANO, Texas - Retail giant J.C. Penney, which is headquarted in Plano, Texas has just announced a big corporate merger. Penney's will be merging with the Denny's restaurant chain to form a new corporation which is being called Denny Penney's.

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Funny story: Walmart To Drop The Name Black Friday

Walmart To Drop The Name Black Friday

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - After yet another Black Friday shopping fiasco where people were shoved, pushed, and attacked, the world's largest retail chain has issued a statement. A Walmart representative stated to the news media that although the vas...

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Funny story: Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

Some Black Friday Shoppers Don't Pussy Foot Around

NEW YORK CITY - An NYPD policeman said that he has been a police officer for 14 years. Officer Dwayne Peckashevski, 39, said that he has been working security on Black Friday at various department stores for the past 10 years and he has never seen...

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Funny story: Top 22 Least Favorite Shops In The Mall

Top 22 Least Favorite Shops In The Mall

The following is a list of what has been voted as the worst stores in the Mall and will probably close right after the Holidays: 1. Burke & Hare's Used Jewelry & Gold Tooth Store 2. Old Navy Beans 3. Things Remembered But Best Forgotten 4. Ferrets R Us 5. Victoria's Succretes 6. Shoes That Stretch 7. Just The Thong 8. Ye Olde Lice Cream Shop...

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Funny story: Salesmen Find Value in 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'

Salesmen Find Value in 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'

Coco Deet, 26, a salesman at the new clothing store, Shoppers Unite, recently discovered how effective the technique, "Good Cop, Bad Cop," can be when applied to potential shoppers. "Since the economy has been so bad, our store has really suffered...

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Funny story: Lady Steals Frozen Chickens

Lady Steals Frozen Chickens

A compulsive shoplifter was admitted to hospital in Margate today suffering from hypothermia. Gladys McGurgle of Conker Road was accused of theft from Tesco on Saturday. Police said that in addition to several other items, Mrs McGurgle had taken...

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Funny story: Shia LeBeouf Makes Cameo in 'Black Friday IV' Trailer

Shia LeBeouf Makes Cameo in 'Black Friday IV' Trailer

Shia LeBeouf plays a sexy, sharpshooting stranger in the new live-action trailer for "Black Friday IV," due out Nov. 7 for playstations and xboxes. The minute-long trailer, set in the post-Thanksgiving Day ruins of a large retail outlet, features...

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Funny story: Supermarket bans the sale of lads' bags in its stores

Supermarket bans the sale of lads' bags in its stores

Lads' bags will not be sold in thousands of Ladl Stores after the company said that most lads look stupid with such bags. Manufacturers of man-bags are angry that their new line in lads' bags is causing such a storm. "We thought they were a g...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Goes Ballistic Over A Shopping Cart Incident

Kristen Stewart Goes Ballistic Over A Shopping Cart Incident

SAN FRANCISCO - Kristen Stewart flew up to San Francisco to get away from the LaLaLand rumor mills. She recently had an incident where she shoved a reporter for the supermarket tabloid Say What? According to the police report Kristen was shoppi...

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Funny story: Woman returns from shops empty-handed

Woman returns from shops empty-handed

A Headingley woman caused a massive shock when she came home from a shopping spree in Leeds with nothing at all! Leeds is the biggest shopping centre in the north of England, with an estimated 6 million eager customers buying loads of stuff every...

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Funny story: Walmart's ingenious scheme to push impulse buys

Walmart's ingenious scheme to push impulse buys

Not to be outdone by Kroger's and some other grocery chains, Walmart has installed "infa-red" sensors in all of their stores, which will indicate the number of customers in the store, which will enable them to close lanes so that all open registers w...

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Funny story: Women shopping on a budget are urged to shop with cross dressers

Women shopping on a budget are urged to shop with cross dressers

A recent survey has discovered that, when it comes to clothes shopping, cross dressers win hands down for finding bargains. "After twenty years of marriage," said Hattie Coates, editor of Fashion Magazine, "I discovered my husband was a cross dres...

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Funny story: Charity shops to start buying each others clothes

Charity shops to start buying each others clothes

As the Triple Dip recession bites deeper, and the population at large has even less money to spend on unnecessary items, such as clothes and food, charity shops are starting to feel the pinch previously only felt by first hand shops, such as River Pe...

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Funny story: Mall's erroneous "You Are Here" signs result in mass confusion

Mall's erroneous "You Are Here" signs result in mass confusion

Several hundred shoppers became disoriented inside a local shopping mall this afternoon, saying erroneous "You Are Here" arrows led them to believe they were there when they really weren't. The confused shoppers were later safely led out of the mall...

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