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Funny satire stories about Scottish independence

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Funny story: Pete Wishart to be Alex Salmond's 'hauners'

Pete Wishart to be Alex Salmond's 'hauners'

Pete Wishart revealed today that he is now Alex Salmond's 'hauners' and that he had set up a fight between the First Minister and the Conservative leader, David Cameron. The Perth and North Perthshire MP made the claim following a series of secret me...

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Funny story: Spain's Douchesse of Vulva wants to be Scotland's next Queen

Spain's Douchesse of Vulva wants to be Scotland's next Queen

Madrid - An octogenarian Spanish gargoyle called the Douchesse of Vulva is stepping up her campaign to replace Queen Elizardbirth in the event of a Yes vote for Scottish independence. Doña María del Rosario Cayetana Tequila d'Alkoholidada Fitz-Jam...

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Funny story: National Collective to Open 'Bowie Helpline'

National Collective to Open 'Bowie Helpline'

It has been revealed today that National Collective are to open a helpline to assist its members on how to deal with the devastating news that David Bowie is a Unionist. The group, made up entirely by fuds who are completely up themselves, reacted sh...

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Funny story: Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

There would be no flooding in an independent Scotland it was claimed today. The bold statement was made by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who was making a speech from somewhere up really, really high. "This just goes to prove yet another diff...

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Funny story: Think tank ponders Cameron's rug enigma

Think tank ponders Cameron's rug enigma

Since the Prime Minister David Cameron stated this week, that: 'if we lost Scotland, it would rip a rug from under the UK's reputation', Scottish and English philosopers and linguistic scholars alike have been in a frantic race to divine the meaning...

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Funny story: London MPs warn Scotland 'Vote for independence, reduce GDP by 8%, bring down wrath of Zeus'

London MPs warn Scotland 'Vote for independence, reduce GDP by 8%, bring down wrath of Zeus'

Westminster politicians of all colours started the 'No For Independence' campaign by suggesting that if Scotland left the Union there would be terrible economic and social consequences. One cabinet member said 'Isolation would risk inward investme...

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Funny story: Scotland will be full of empty palaces after Declaration of Independence in 2015

Scotland will be full of empty palaces after Declaration of Independence in 2015

Secret Royal palaces all over Scotland are already being evacuated due to fears of a revival of the William Wallace syndrome coinciding with the release of "Braveheart 2." in September. The film will star Melanie Gibson as Braveheart's red haired dau...

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Funny story: Dyson to make bagless bagpipes

Dyson to make bagless bagpipes

Greg Dyson, whose factories make trillions of bagless vacuum hoovers has now patented bagless bagpipes, The bagpipes, which sound just as awful as traditional ones work on "cyclone technology" which is used in their hoovers. Alexei Salmon the Engl...

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Funny story: Physicists invent new Dyson type "bagless" bagpipes weapon

Physicists invent new Dyson type "bagless" bagpipes weapon

A team of the world's best physicists have come up with a noise 100 times worse than bagpipes. The International collaboration of scientists has been made to work in "lockdown" conditions with Dyson technicians, by Bill Gates and Stephen Hawkings unt...

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Funny story: Scotland poised to form Catelonian alliance and become new E.U. oil rich State..

Scotland poised to form Catelonian alliance and become new E.U. oil rich State..

Alexei Salmon, Jacobite King in waiting and a descendant of William Wallace is set to charge down with a broadsword on horseback with Catalonian mercenaries and take the pasty faced Sassenachs by surprise when he wins the Independence referendum next...

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Funny story: Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday. "Scotland m...

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Funny story: Scottish independence put on hold

Scottish independence put on hold

Alex Salmond has announced that Scottish independence has been put on hold until such time that Andy Murray has received a knighthood for doing his job better than anybody else. "If Scotland seceded from the Union before the honours list," said Sa...

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Funny story: Alex Salmond and Cristina Kirchner 'joined at the hip' says energy security think tank

Alex Salmond and Cristina Kirchner 'joined at the hip' says energy security think tank

North Sea - Claims to North Sea oil and gas by the Scottish separatists' leader have been likened to Argentine President Cristina 'Mad Dog' Kirchner's obsession with the Falklands Islands a leading think tank said today. "Neither has a hope in he...

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Funny story: Salmond Accepts Defeat in Scottish Referendum Negotiations

Salmond Accepts Defeat in Scottish Referendum Negotiations

A deal setting out terms for a Scottish independence referendum was signed today by Prime Minister David Cameron and First Minister Alex Salmond. The settlement followed months of hard negotiations in which Mr. Salmond was finally forced to accept w...

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Funny story: Scot, Andy Murray, is British especially after winning the US open!

Scot, Andy Murray, is British especially after winning the US open!

Aftr a brilliant performance ending in a magnificent win for super-Scot, Andy Murray, at the US open, Britain have decide to adopt him, but Andy doesn't want to be a Brit because he's Scottish. Greg Rusedzki also represented Britain at tennis, but...

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Funny story: Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland's outspoken and opinionated First Minister, Alex Salmond, has courted controversy by insisting Scotland will field its own Olympic team at the 2016 Rio Games. Salmond, who is convinced Scotland will have departed the UK by 2016, has insis...

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Funny story: Scotland to be kicked out of UK

Scotland to be kicked out of UK

Scotland is to be ejected from the UK. In a totally unforeseen step, David Cameron has decided that Britain might do all right without Scotland after all. "The Scots have routinely expressed contempt for the rest of the UK, especially the English...

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