Edward Snowden, the revealer of secrets, has told the press that the United States already has robot soldiers and since he's been gone, they could number in the hundreds or thousands. "I don't think they want anyone to know how far advanced these...
A group of United States scientists from a Massachusetts Think Tank say they have made a major breakthrough in robotics. Speaker for the group, Dr. John Michael Lindsay, stated that they have come up with a robot that is as far ahead of the Al Gor...
SILICONE VALLEY, CA -- Trying to recover from consumers' backlash concerning the computer giant's threat to replace human beings with robots by 2030, Google has released 8,000 of its prototypical wearable Glass, a system resembling eyeglasses that ca...
Scientists in San Francisco have unveiled a new robotic arm at the 2014 Technology Spring Convention. The machine which has taken 8 years to make, is made of steel but wrapped in a case of plastics made to resemble human skin. Head scientist Roger...
SILICONE VALLEY, CA - Google CEO Eric Schmidt says his company is making "progress" in its campaign to solve the unemployment crisis once and for all time by replacing human beings with robots. "By making people redundant," Schmidt said, "we no lo...
Although they are being billed with such names as "Cat Head", "Trout Ears" and "The Man With The Octopus Arms", American scientists who have watched the Chinese Circus in Europe say that these freaks are not by nature but by DNA experiments. "They...
Several leading psychiatrists are recommending that female robots be built for "Comfort For Troops". "The Japanese are getting ahead of us in robot technology but we still have firms here that produce amazing dolls that are beautiful", state Dr. R...
"Killer robots" are fully autonomous weapons. These robots are weapons that would make drones look primitive. With the drone, there is a human being who looks at the computer screen, sees the target and pushes the buttons to fire the missiles and k...
Dateline: PALO ALTO--Robotics Corp, a Fortune 500 company, treated reporters to a behind-the-scenes look at the manufacturing of their preprogramed artificial persons for use in selling conservative policies in the United States. The featured model i...
Following weeks of heated rumors and speculation the White House issued a press release admitting that Presidential Apologist Jay Carney is not actually human, but is an early prototype of a new line of talking-points press robots. The discovery foll...
The robot Kirobo held a press conference at the International Space Station yesterday to complain about his attire. (Read about him and see him here). "Like Rodney Dangerfield," he whined, "I get no respect." Kirobo is disgusted that his handler...
BEDFORD, Mass. - July 21, 2013 -- myRobot corp is a leader in delivering robotic technology-based solutions, today announced the launch of a new myRobot Splooj® personal cleaning robot. Splooj 330 takes a dangerous job and does it for you, us...
PHOENIX - USA DAYBREAK is reporting one of the strangest love relationships in recent memory. It appears that Tendra Jo Blockbocker, 37, who is a waitress at the Pompous Pizza Parlor in Phoenix, has fallen head-over-heals in love with a mechanical...
SAN DIEGO - Elvis may not be alive now, but if his band has their way, he will be rejoining them by 2014. According to Japanese scientist Yohounddoe Otatiem, a robot that will be indistinguishable from Elvis at a distance of 10 meters will be ready...
WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
CAMBRIDGE, MA--The NBA's newest rising star, Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks, is turning heads around the league with his impressive playmaking abilities and incredibly lifelike exoskeleton. Lin, who was activated on August 23, 1988, is the first A...
A priest has come forward to talk about his recent sexual abuse at the "inhuman" hands of the Catholic Church. The Church has been trying to modernise itself to get away from its medieval practices and poor reputation. To do this, it recently ordered a million robot nuns to help out at churches throughout the world. The priest agreed to talk to me on the grounds that he remain anonymous. His na...
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