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Funny satire stories about Robots

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Funny story: "I was molested by a robot nun"

"I was molested by a robot nun"

A priest has come forward to talk about his recent sexual abuse at the "inhuman" hands of the Catholic Church. The Church has been trying to modernise itself to get away from its medieval practices and poor reputation. To do this, it recently ordered a million robot nuns to help out at churches throughout the world. The priest agreed to talk to me on the grounds that he remain anonymous. His na...

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Funny story: News-inventing robot breaks - unusual headlines everywhere

News-inventing robot breaks - unusual headlines everywhere

After 30 years of good service inventing the news that we read every day, the NewsBot has begun to show its age. Strange stories have been appearing recently, but today's story about "Bert and Ernie will not marry" has stretched the public's belief t...

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Funny story: The Robot Teamaker

The Robot Teamaker

Professor Robert De Bild likes robots - a lot! So much so that he has twice been arrested for having sex with the robots he creates. But he has managed to control his lust for long enough to build a robot which recently won the International Robotic Tea-making Contest in Tokyo, Japan. He explained, "It is one of the greatest challenges of modern robotics to build a robot which can make a cup of...

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Funny story: England crash out of Robot World Cup

England crash out of Robot World Cup

"RoboCup 2011", the football World Cup for robots, is being held in Istanbul this month. Geeks and nerds from all over the world have gathered here to watch mechanical contraptions try to kick a ball with all the skill of the human Scotland team.

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Funny story: Enforcement Droid ED-209 Kills Company Executive In Horrific Demonstration

Enforcement Droid ED-209 Kills Company Executive In Horrific Demonstration

ED-209, the futuristic police Enforcement Droid designed and operated by OCP, today went berserk and killed a high ranking company executive. The board meeting was going well, when Senior President Dick Jones demonstrated his latest creation, the...

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Funny story: Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

(Published 2016) LONDON URBEM - After the Great Media Crash of 2012, many studios are cutting back. ITV's Britain's Got Talent is no different. This year, the show will replace the judges on the panel with Panasonic JudgeBots, running Google's A...

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Funny story: Robot Pitcher is Latest Trend in Major League Baseball

Robot Pitcher is Latest Trend in Major League Baseball

It had to happen. With robots now in education, medicine, space exploration, science, manufacturing, and many other fields, it was only a matter of time before they invaded professional sports. And the time is now! Okay, okay, the debut of a r...

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Funny story: Future News: First Non-White, Non-Christian, Non-Human Prime Minister Elected

Future News: First Non-White, Non-Christian, Non-Human Prime Minister Elected

(Published 2015) LONDON - The world looked to Britain to see the results of the 2015 prime minsterial elections, where relative newcomer Presitron was elected. Representing the robot/machine class of the nation - from factory workers to Roombas.

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Funny story: Robot developed by Koch Industries to Run as GOP Nominee in 2012!

Robot developed by Koch Industries to Run as GOP Nominee in 2012!

The wire services are reporting today that a robot will be the GOP nominee for president in 2012! The Koch brothers, long known as the principal backers of the conservatives in the GOP, have contracted with IBM to develop a robot similar to Watso...

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Funny story: Irish farmer announces "Robot Chicken"

Irish farmer announces "Robot Chicken"

Continuing the pioneering work of legendary turkey farmer extraordinaire Bernard Matthews, Irish chicken breeder Patrick O'Feckit has come up with an ingenious scheme which may answer the ever-increasing demand for chicken. For many years he has...

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Funny story: Roomba Robot Released that Can Clear Up Street Crime

Roomba Robot Released that Can Clear Up Street Crime

LONDON - At a demonstration in the city's notourious East End, iRobot showcased their new 'bot. iRobot who also make the Roomba, the self-vacuuming robot for the home, will sell the new Cityba, which can clear up street crime with efficiency and s...

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Funny story: From the dreams of Androids

From the dreams of Androids

West Country farmers proudly showed off their first batches of electric sheep, at the Bath and Wells Agricultural Festival this week. These 'metal moutons' were bred as part of a project run by Bio-Perversity Ltd. These creatures actually look exa...

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Funny story: Local Rodeo Switches to Bots!

Local Rodeo Switches to Bots!

Succumbing to pressure from a community which has grown tired of the exploitation and abuse of animals, the Russian River Rodeo Association has voted 315 to 3 to replace their traditional affair this year with a "Virtual Rodeo." Using mechanical...

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Funny story: Machines Take Over

Machines Take Over

A Japanese company has introduced vending machines using facial recognition technology to recommend drinks to customers depending on age and gender. Sales have tripled as a result. A new force in society is developing. A Korean restaurant has done...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan is a robot

Lindsay Lohan is a robot

San Francisco, California. A prominent Berkely University scientist has claimed today that he has designed and constructed a life size robotic replica of Lindsay Lohan. The replicant moves round entirely independent of any external controls such as w...

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Funny story: Killer Robots invade Mecca

Killer Robots invade Mecca

You heard of individuals like Congressman Tom Tancredo suggesting a nuking of Islam's holiest city Mecca, but a mad scientist has unleashed his killer robots on the city of Mecca. The mad scientist gave no explanation as to why he did this, it is...

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Funny story: Teaching Robots Fired for Bad Behavior

Teaching Robots Fired for Bad Behavior

When the New Trends School in California announced at the beginning of summer that all their human teachers were being replaced by teaching robots, there was weeping and the gnashing of teeth. That was from the teachers. On the other hand, students...

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