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Funny satire stories about Red Sox

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Funny story: Red Sox Owner Sings "Brown Sugar" to His Manager

Red Sox Owner Sings "Brown Sugar" to His Manager

Not since Mick Jagger sang about "Brown Sugar" has there been such a sickeningly sweet brouhaha over the naturally exotic sweetener. Yes, Bobby Valentine had breakfast with owner John Henry in Seattle. It was the meal of the day for the two Red So...

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Funny story: Bobby Valentine Serves Up Food for Thought

Bobby Valentine Serves Up Food for Thought

Bobby Valentine had a late breakfast with owner John Henry on a morning in Seattle when the Red Sox have never played worse. It's enough to curb one's appetite. Valentine claimed he felt better after his morning meal with the owner. Whether Bobby...

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Funny story: Boxing Day Comes Early for Red Sox

Boxing Day Comes Early for Red Sox

For those who recall the year when Manny Ramirez popped off and took a poke at Kevin Youkilis in the dugout during a game, we have had a sense of deju vu all over again. During the west coast trip to hell (they still aren't there yet), the battlin...

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Funny story: Red Sox Knock a Patriot Loss Off the Sports News

Red Sox Knock a Patriot Loss Off the Sports News

If turnabout is fair play, the Patriots owe the Red Sox one favor. Wouldn't it be nice if the Red Sox could pull off a blockbuster trade every time the Patriots stink? For the first time in recent memory, the Red Sox banished the defeat of the Pat...

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Funny story: Red Sox Look for the Elusive Scarlet Pimpernel

Red Sox Look for the Elusive Scarlet Pimpernel

If ever a team needed a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People, it's the Boston Red Sox. Instead, they seem to have ordered an e-book from Baroness Orczy. Without any redeeming qualities, the Sox are sinking into the briny deep of i...

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Funny story: Tinker Tailor Soldier Red Sox Cold Warrior

Tinker Tailor Soldier Red Sox Cold Warrior

If you wondered what happened to the spy shenanigans of the Cold War, you have only to look at the Boston Red Sox. The subterfuge has been more convoluted than the plot of a John LeCarre spy novel. They dump anyone suspected of being a mole: Marco...

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Funny story: Red Sox Hear Bulldog Boolah Boolah, not Boo Birds

Red Sox Hear Bulldog Boolah Boolah, not Boo Birds

The Red Sox have Harvard University across the Charles River to consult, but they went instead to New Haven to find a Yale locksmith to help to secure the team. For the first time since the 1880s in major league baseball, the pitcher and catcher w...

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Funny story: Red Sox Owner John Henry Channels Marie Antoinette

Red Sox Owner John Henry Channels Marie Antoinette

The Boston Red Sox have set a new record for members of media and team whistling past the graveyard. Putting on a happy face has never been quite as ugly as this week when backstabbing players started singing a different tune. They were not such b...

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Funny story: Mutiny on S.S. Fenway (or Red Sox Swamp the Rowboat)

Mutiny on S.S. Fenway (or Red Sox Swamp the Rowboat)

Not since Mr. Christian tossed Captain Bligh overboard from the Bounty in mid-ocean has there been a scene like the Fenway mutiny. Usually benign Adrian Gonzalez, known for his affable passivity, and Dustin Pedroia, the quintessential company man,...

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Funny story: Red Sox Players Steal Captain Queeg's Strawberries

Red Sox Players Steal Captain Queeg's Strawberries

Red Sox players have accused Bobby Valentine of stealing the strawberries from the ship's galley, like a team of Captain Queegs on the U.S.S. Caine. Herman Wouk wrote a tale about a fictional American mutiny on a ship at war. In the present day Re...

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Funny story: Tom Brady May Replace Josh Beckett as a Red Sox Starter

Tom Brady May Replace Josh Beckett as a Red Sox Starter

Is there a House doctor for the New England Patriots? Tom Brady is looking for what the doctor prescribes. New England Patriots star quarterback Tom Brady has his own QB coach, which is no surprise in the NFL. However, the Patriots have gone...

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Funny story: David Ortiz Stretches his Achilles Tendon to New Lengths

David Ortiz Stretches his Achilles Tendon to New Lengths

The latest DL denizen of the Red Sox continues to find healing of his heel beyond the scope of the medical staff. Yes, the Honorable David Ortiz, DH, DL, is beginning to look and sound like he is switching his agency to Scott Boras. The original h...

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Funny story: Pyroplastic Floe About to Overwhelm Bobby Valentine

Pyroplastic Floe About to Overwhelm Bobby Valentine

According to hot leads and cold comfort in Boston, the Red Sox clubhouse is about to go into a pyroplastic meltdown. Bobby Valentine is now searching for the snitch, fink, and all-round source of the vile event where he denigrated Will Middlebrook...

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Funny story: Whistleblowers and Blowhards Roam the Red Sox Dugout

Whistleblowers and Blowhards Roam the Red Sox Dugout

There's still a snitch in the Red Sox dugout. After someone blew the whistle on the Boston pitchers who drank beer and ate fried chicken in the clubhouse, brouhaha ensued to bring in a tough new manager. Bobby Valentine answered the call, but...

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Funny story: Red Sox and Red Faced: the 'Loose' Ryan Sweeney

Red Sox and Red Faced: the 'Loose' Ryan Sweeney

Not since Amare Stoudemire slammed his fist into a fire extinguisher on the wall has there been a display case of such idiocy as seen with Ryan Sweeney of the Red Sox. Young #12 has issued a Twitter apology to teammates and fans for his fatuous ac...

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Funny story: Red Sox Hit a Ball into the Credibility Gap

Red Sox Hit a Ball into the Credibility Gap

As a kid, you knew you had to believe in Santa Claus if you wanted that Red Ryder rifle. Now you have to believe in the Red Sox medical staff if you want a playoff position. Not since Tiny Tim tiptoed through the tulips (or Mike Aviles turf toed t...

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Funny story: A Slow Boat to Oblivion for Red Sox While Patriots' Speedboat Rocks

A Slow Boat to Oblivion for Red Sox While Patriots' Speedboat Rocks

Many sports fans in New England are happy that the Patriots with NFL football are back on the radar. With a shellacking in New York by the Yankees over the Sox, the writing is on the Green Monster. MLB in Boston is in its death throes. Worse ye...

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