Prince Philip, the Queen of England's escort, has fallen into a secret cryogenic chamber a mile below California's Disneyland. Inspecting the pods where Sleeping Beauty and Walt Disney's head are stored "The Dook" was leaning over the safety barr...
LONDON - Tickety Boo News is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, has stated that England will be honoring President Nelson Mandela who once said that he would rather walk in the London fog that sit in the Saigon smog. TBN's Neville Twickenbuck stat...
New York - A US TV network tonight claims to have definitive proof that the young royal baby is to be named HRH Prince Philip of Cambridge in a nod to the Queen's nonagenarian consort Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. "We have news of a huge o...
NEW YORK CITY - Well now that Kate Middleton has finally had her baby she will have a new name bestowed on her that of Mommy. The royal baby weighed a whopping 8 pounds 6 ounces. Reports are that the Duchess of Cambridge's screams could be heard t...
WINDSOR - Queen Elizabeth II has issued a royal decree stating that the coming of William's and Kate's spawn shall hurry the hell up and get here so that her holiday plans don't get mucked up. Although Her Majesty has been doing the talking, it i...
Windsor - "Bloody country's going to the dogs if a bloke can't have his little blue pills," a wrecked isle dysfunction specialist at the Palace said today as searing temperatures continued to cook Prince Philip's giblets. The nonagenarian curmudge...
London - A spokesperson for Queen Elizardbirth said tonight the Duke, 91, had come down with something nasty in the lower abdominal area after reading Hollywood actor Michael Douglas' recent intimate rant about 'walnut surgery'. [WTF? - 'Ed'] He w...
NEW YORK CITY - Paul McCartney flew to the Big Apple to visit an old friend who was having uvula surgery at Brooklyn's Salvatore Goombalini General Hospital. As the former Beatle left Sal General he was approached by Pia Confetti with Celebrity Gl...
Prime Minister David Cameron is desperate to find more big news stories to hide scandals from the public. The latest round of scandals including Lords taking payments from lobbying firms and the collapse of A&E services due directly to his fla...
London - The Duke of Edinburgh has pulled out of a reception for the Royal Institute of the Blind Leading the Blind this evening after coming down with something torrid behind a Palace potting shed. Cancelling on the St James's Palace gig Phil the...
FRED: Allo, Ron. Happy Boxing Day. Pint's ready for yer on the table 'ere. RON: Cheers Fred. Do much Christmas Day? Any visitors? FRED: Nah, very quiet. Most ov my fam'ly died off years ago. Stuffed me face wiv turkey, watched the Queen's speech on the telly, then 'ad a few cans before fallin' a kip in me armchair. RON: Same wivs my lot. Still the odd one dotted abaht 'ere n there but mo...
London - "Daft old cow's been reading too many bloody tabloid headlines, what?" the old curmudgeon snarled at Palace footmen today as details of the plot emerged. "Why, only this morning the stupid bat asked me if I'd seen the effin' story and ask...
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first child after Prince William finally managed to impregnate his wife. Palace insiders recently told the media the Duke and Duchess had been hard at it since their wedding last year with litt...
Norfolk - A headstone on the Sandringham Estate bearing the name 'Sugar' has been identified as the last resting place of Prince Philip. His sudden unexpected death circa 1959 was hushed up to spare Brits the ignominy of 'auto-erotic asphyxiation'...
HRH Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, is said to mortified after a Ghanaian newspaper published images of the 91 year old prince taken over 50 years ago during an official visit to the African nation. The grainy black and white photographs purportedl...
After reporting back for work last week, the Duke of Edinburgh has landed himself in hot water again by throwing another sickie. In a statement read out from Downing St this morning, the chairman of the royal select committee, Quentin Twiston-Shart,...
Draft plans for the funeral of Prince Philip have been found stuffed behind a toilet cistern in a gentlemen's toilet on Hampstead Heath. How the documents came to be there remains a mystery. The documents were found by a local kebab shop owner, Ge...
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