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Funny satire stories about Peter Andre

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Funny story: Peter Andre to take up Tractor Driving

Peter Andre to take up Tractor Driving

Pint-sized Aussie warbler, Peter Andre, has decided to take up tractor driving in an effort to win back the affections of Katie Price. The performer turned plougher hopes that it will show Katie that he's just as much man as Alex Reid and that the st...

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Funny story: Jordan (aka Katie Price) to go into the Big Brother house today

Jordan (aka Katie Price) to go into the Big Brother house today

The news that Jordan is to go into the Big Brother house today came as a big shock to David Cameron. "I wasn't informed," He said. "So, it can't go ahead. I need to be informed of everything that goes on in the entire country before it happens" "Why?" Asked Katarina Frogpond (that's me). "You're not the Prime Minister." "But I'm going to be." He said. "I have to start practicing. So I...

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Funny story: Pete! Pete! I'm A Celebrity! Take Me Back! - Katie Pleads - Jungle Works Its Voodoo Magic

Pete! Pete! I'm A Celebrity! Take Me Back! - Katie Pleads - Jungle Works Its Voodoo Magic

From what we've heard, although we can't as yet confirm the veracity of it, as we were down the pub getting ritually leathered, anticipating a weekend of leatherisation, when we heard that Katie Price has made an emotional appeal to ex-husband Peter...

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Funny story: Jordan out of Jungle but not out of the shit

Jordan out of Jungle but not out of the shit

When pointless breast carriage mechanism Katie Price left the Celebrity Jungle camp saying: "I am going home. I miss my kids so much," we here at the Cycle thought just for a moment that her execrable performance and the overwhelming opprobium of the...

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Funny story: Peter Andre Implodes On Live TV

Peter Andre Implodes On Live TV

Estranged husband of jungle 'celebrity' Katie Price, Peter Andre this evening made a complete and utter twat of himself on the BBC's annual 'Children In Need' appeal. Singing in a squeaky high-pitched voice, Andre declared that his love was 'Uncon...

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Funny story: Andre set to enter jungle, again.

Andre set to enter jungle, again.

The producers of, 'I'm a minor celebrity...give me exposure', must be rubbing their Armani clad thighs with glee today after 90's pop sensation Peter Andre agreed to go back in to the jungle. It's been reported that Peter has been paid a whopping...

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Funny story: Peter Kay hopes to raise a smile

Peter Kay hopes to raise a smile

Comic Peter Kay is to record a charity single for this year's Children in Need appeal, which he says has the potential to be "mildly amusing". The as yet unnamed track will be accompanied by an all-star video featuring almost famous faces and lon...

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Funny story: Katie Price aka Jordan Incinerated At Edenbridge

Katie Price aka Jordan Incinerated At Edenbridge

Peter Andre, estranged husband of strange glamour model cum reality TV star and ultra-successful drunken slapper Katie Price aka Jordan was reported to be clapping his hands and dancing around the garden of his Brighton home like a demented meerkat u...

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Funny story: Foetid Waste of Skin makes pledge for 2010

Foetid Waste of Skin makes pledge for 2010

Cressida Camel-Toe our Gossip Columnist reports: Well Dahlings, If you needed a reason to anticipate 2010 then you have one now, vacuous breast hanger Jordan has revealed her New Year's resolution to this publication. What will it be you gasp ? Well you guessed it, in a statement through her publicist Max C*nt she's claimed that she's going to stop moaning on and on about Muscle-bound An...

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Funny story: Scriptwriter's Strike Halts Jordan

Scriptwriter's Strike Halts Jordan

Sub-porn star Jordan, aka Katie Price, faces disaster as her script writer quit, it was reported yesterday. Speaking with the aid of a piece of paper with double-spaced typing in a large sans-serif font on it the silicone-based life-form elaborated...

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Funny story: Andre To Sing For Ali

Andre To Sing For Ali

Stoke (Potteries Relegation Battle) It has been announced that Peter Andre is to sing at a private dinner in honour of Mohammad Ali. The dinner will take place at Stoke City football club. It is the biggest challenge ever for Ali. In his prime the gr...

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Funny story: Peter Andre - "Katie Price A Despicable Mother."

Peter Andre - "Katie Price A Despicable Mother."

Peter Andre, the estranged husband of uber breasted plastic pop-tart Katie Price, formerly Jordan, last night got into a venomous row with her over the phone, which I was able to witness as he'd put the phone on open speaker. Price, who has been s...

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Funny story: Jon & Kate - Jordan & Peter in Wife Swap Sex Shock

Jon & Kate - Jordan & Peter in Wife Swap Sex Shock

Orgy on Wife Swap as new breakups Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Peter Andre and Katie Price play out 'real life' swinging sex scenes in the latest episode of the hit TV series. Jon and Kate Plus 8 viewers will be shocked to see Jon banging Katie (a...

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Funny story: Katie Price At Parental Advice Clinic

Katie Price At Parental Advice Clinic

Katie Price (aka as Jordan or Booberella) and one-time singer Peter Andre were once the toast of British Chav society and their love seemed as eternal as that of equally class act Jack Tweed and Jade Goody. Katie herself once said, "I would wait or s...

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Funny story: Peter Andre tells Jordan to go F*ck Herself

Peter Andre tells Jordan to go F*ck Herself

ATPN, London - Peter Andre, spurned lover of former page 3 silicone ridden Jordan IfThePriceIsRight (aka Katie), vowed this week to sue the bitch for hinting that he'd hidden another lover in the dungeon of their Brighton lovenest. "What she's sai...

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Funny story: Dale Winton to Play Peter Mandelson in New Musical - "When Peter met Tony"!

Dale Winton to Play Peter Mandelson in New Musical - "When Peter met Tony"!

Dale Winton the permatanned twinkletoed star of the 1990's was today unveiled as the romantic lead in a New Musical telling the story of a meteoric rise to power. Lord Mandelson First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation...

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Funny story: Hoboken Mayor, Peter Cammarano, Known in Mafia As Vibram 'Five Fingers' Shoe

Hoboken Mayor, Peter Cammarano, Known in Mafia As Vibram 'Five Fingers' Shoe

Hoboken, NJ - Hoboken Mayor, Peter Cammarano, is believed to have quite a presence in the New York underworld. Although the mayor, at 32, seems to be rather young to have any kind of reputation in 'La Cosa Nostra', it is believed that he has been ope...

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