Sponsored by a consortium of middle aged men from four different Midwestern cities, the newly formed "MEATA" organization has been stealing press attention away from its diametrically opposed food-chain rival, PETA. Assembled from Detroit, Chicago,...
Miami, Florida - It is a novel idea. Promising plenty of "Four-legged" room for the family pet, but it has everyone who has experienced first-hand the stress and all too often the trauma of losing an animal to the airline industry, asking: "What's th...
Norfolk VA: Police were called to the PETA world headquarters today when a neighbor reported strange noises outside the building around dusk. When the police arrived, they found a totally empty building devoid of anything but a tank of sea kittens...
Cowshed, Vermont - Ice cream moguls, Ben & Jerry have unleashed their latest concoction in honor of Barack Obama's recent election as President of the United States - Cinnamon Rocky Road. Ben & Jerry are noted as much for their p...
PE3TA -- People for the Edible Ethical Elevated Treatment of Animals -- have demanded scientists cease feeding lab pythons from dishes, citing the resulting cruelty this perpetrated on the poor creatures who can't hold a knife and fork in the first p...
Stung by claims that they are insensitive to the welfare of cows, Ice Cream moguls Ben and Jerry have today unveiled their latest product - ice cream made from the breast milk of human females. To facilitate this, they have purchased over a millio...
New York, New York - Evidently, the loss of Hooters as a sponsor just before the race had a larger impact on the horse than anyone anticipated as Big Brown, winner of the Kentucky Derby and Preakness field, finished the Belmont Stakes in last place y...
Chino, California - With the not so subtle application of a sledgehammer between brown eyes just before lights out, the memory of a free forklift ride to the killing room floor still lingering in the synapses, the newly rediscovered humane commute on...
Hollywood, California - Eva Mendes, the luscious leggy Latin lassie and PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) spokesperson, is the latest Hollywood starlet forced into Rehab in an attempt to combat an addition gone out of control.
Louisville, KY - Today Colonel Sanders announced at a startling news conference KFC's newest menu addition, a special "Endangered Species" menu.
Watch out Starbucks! Coffee & A Spell, a coffee shop in Kenmore, a village in New York State's Erie County, is bewitching customers by not only serving up gourmet coffee but by also providing tarot readings and assorted reading material...
"Buy them fresh from the truck, fast frozen or cooked to perfection, our steaks are 100% cruelty free," said spokesman Herschel Schmoikel Krustofski.
(MUSICMAN PRESS) Another famous American figure has found himself in the middle of another political controversy. Big Al, the long time figure of the Republican Party has agreed with P.E.T.A. to file a lawsuit against the party.
Hollywood, CA - Television star and and opinionated uber-lesbian Rosie O'Donnel wowed fans as she greedily consumed three male silverback gorillas to protest something or another, though no one could figure out exactly what through the hail of bl...
BEAVERTON, OREGON (AP Newsliar) -- Unemployment and homelessness is on the rise among the nation's chimpanzee population, amid a decline in the use of primates for animal research.
Details of Iran's diabolical plan to attack the US with missiles full of black cats were released today. President Bush's immediate response was to order a total invasion of Iran. "I'm the decisioner!" proclaimed Bush when Pentagon officials a...
Sacramento, California - Although still at a loss for an explanation as to the reason why the two Humpback whales, a mother and her calf, took a wrong turn up the Sacramento river in California, marine biologists are nevertheless relieved to discover...
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