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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: More Senior Citizens Buying Viagra, Other Drugs in Mexico

More Senior Citizens Buying Viagra, Other Drugs in Mexico

Why are so many older Americans purchasing their penis pointer drugs in Mexico these days? "I pay $2 for a 20mg Levitra down in Tijuana where it costs $36 here so why do you think?", states one couple just returning to the United States." Despi...

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Funny story: Weak End At Bernies Movies For 24 Hours

Weak End At Bernies Movies For 24 Hours

My grandfather was over spending the weekend at my college as I had an extra room and the rest of the family told me it was my time. Gramps is not a bad old guy, just a little senile but mostly lonesome as all his old friends are dead. "Grandpa, there's a 'Weekend At Bernies' marathon on this weekend. I need to go out and do some stuff, I'll get it started for you. If you get tired, turn it...

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Funny story: The Dance "The Robot" Has Just Become The Number One Dance At 9 Out of 10 Senior Citizen Homes

The Dance "The Robot" Has Just Become The Number One Dance At 9 Out of 10 Senior Citizen Homes

TOPEKA, Kansas - Word coming out of the Midwest is that the residents of old folks homes have just embraced a new favorite dance. Cressida Guava, 49, a representative with AARP stated that up until recently The Hokey Pokey was the best liked dance...

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Funny story: GM To Develop More Boring, Uninspired Cars for 2015

GM To Develop More Boring, Uninspired Cars for 2015

GM executives are really excited about their new 2015 line up of boring, uninspired, middle American old peoples cars. "We are thrilled about the limited number of invisible changes you will see with our new 2015 Chevy Impalas and Malibus. Plus t...

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Funny story: Local Man Cuts Down Tree On Old Lady Feeding Pigeons

Local Man Cuts Down Tree On Old Lady Feeding Pigeons

Harold Gillis told everyone gathered around him that he was sorry that he had cut down the wrong tree and crushed the old lady and several pigeons she was feeding. "Look, it could happen to any of us. We think the tree is going to fall a certain w...

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Funny story: Bingo Game Turns Nasty in Poughkeepsie Retirement Home

Bingo Game Turns Nasty in Poughkeepsie Retirement Home

POUGHKEEPSIE, NEW YORK - Administrators of the Cranky Petunia Retirement Home confirmed today that a fight broke out among some of the bingo players at their facility Thursday afternoon. "It was bedlam," exclaimed director Candace Cruikshank, "One...

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Funny story: Congress Reports That Their New Elderly Persons Stimulus Package Is Having Fantastic Success

Congress Reports That Their New Elderly Persons Stimulus Package Is Having Fantastic Success

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Congress is glad to announce that their Elderly Persons Stimulus Package has been well received throughout the country. American Spotlight Magazine reports that the new bill consists of providing free Viagra pi...

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Funny story: First "Man Cave" Found in Southern France

First "Man Cave" Found in Southern France

While they are all the rage amongst "He Men" nowadays, the first ever Man Cave was unearthed this month near Lyon-de-terre, France. The crew broke through an ancient wall exposing an undisturbed setting from 12,000 years ago. The excavators marve...

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Funny story: Teenagers murder Facebook!

Teenagers murder Facebook!

Global teenagers are turning their backs on social network giant, Facebook, because their mums and dads are on their too! A global, cyber exodus of unhappy, twittering teenagers has forced Facebook to block millions of mums, dads, grandma's, grand...

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Funny story: Memory Test

Memory Test

Grandad, do you have problems remembering things? I do. Names in particular. I have to make lists of all the nieces, grand nieces, nephews and grand nephews and learn them by heart. You always get my name right. Well, it's the same as your mother's and her mothers. I get into trouble at school if I forget things. Such as? Oh those awful maths things and the names in science. Real...

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Funny story: Tennessee Votes To Make Twerking Illegal

Tennessee Votes To Make Twerking Illegal

FRANKFORT, Tennessee - The Tennessee Senate has just passed a bill that was carried by a vote of 32-1 that makes twerking illegal. State senator Florence Pennymaker [D-Memphis] stated that she's 34, and she is by no means a prude but having seen M...

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Funny story: Madonna cast in biggest acting role of her life, pretending she's still relevant

Madonna cast in biggest acting role of her life, pretending she's still relevant

London, England - Acclaimed baby collector Madonna has released a statement via fax about her upcoming movie role, she will be playing an aging pop-star via twitter. While the plot of the film remains unclear, Madonna will be director, producer, acto...

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Funny story: Top Twelve Bad Things That Happen After You Get Old

Top Twelve Bad Things That Happen After You Get Old

Getting older is a bummer we used to say back in the 1960's but here we are and we don't like it one bit. Among things we hate: 1. Your Viagra gives you a lot of gas! 2. You sit on a hard chair and break your hip in three places. 3. You start to fantasize about Aunt Bea on The Andy Griffith Show. 4. You blow out your false teeth when you blow out your birthday cake candles. 5.

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Funny story: Old Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!

Old Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!

Washington: Several older gentlemen have registered their own political party today that will compete with the Democrats and Republicans in 2016! "We're sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and (Slap on the back) being blamed for a...

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Funny story: Four million drivers are now over seventy years old

Four million drivers are now over seventy years old

News that the UK now has more than four million drivers aged over seventy has surprised some, but it is the fact that they are subject to different driving rules which has come as a real shock to many people. The over-seventies licence, which must...

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Funny story: Candy Crush woman has Easter in September

Candy Crush woman has Easter in September

The Easter bunnies are hopping already for a Northumberland woman, while for the rest of us, the Autumn leaves are only just starting to twirl their way to the ground. Edna Ballcock, 97, of Holy Island, has been having problems with her timing eve...

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Funny story: Morning bingo sessions responsible for economic downturn

Morning bingo sessions responsible for economic downturn

A new government report has blasted UK bingo clubs for their part in the current financial crisis. Since some bright spark at Bluerinse Bingo Club in Sheffield had the revolutionary idea of getting their balls out three times a day instead of two, al...

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