According to recent articles that you may want to read, the end of the United States as well as Mexico, Canada and others may happen at any time. An attack of nuclear missiles? The unleashing of a dreaded disease or poisoning by terrorists that ca...
Friends of the late Robert Byrd says that a doctor who saw Byrd often blamed the BP Oil Spill for Byrd's death. "I realize that the Senator was an old Byrd..let me restate that. I realize that Senator Byrd was an old man but he was in fairly good...
BPs Oil Slick HQ, United States: BP, known as 'British Petroleum' by President Obama, have decided to fund Tony Blair's Republican nomination at the next US elections. BP who have had to 'bite the bullet' in the last few weeks, as President Obama...
Not everyone on the Gulf Coast of Florida is bemoaning the dastardly effects of tar balls washing up on their pristine white-sand beaches. Harold "Happy" Toner and his wife Sunny Toner are turning those tar balls into dollar bills. "Oh, we're hipp...
While President Obama's Mother-In-Law Ms. Marian Robinson thought no one could possibly be listening in, or maybe she just doesn't care much for her son-in-law, was talking to a visiting close friend in a back room of the White House, she apparently...
Fish & Wildlife crews armed with Dove Soap failed this weekend to clean the Governors of Mississippi and Louisiana. "I'd rather do twenty pelicans or twelve sharks," said a wildlife worker. "Governor Barbour is so soaked inside and out, it took a...
Dr. Wheelan, a conservation coordinator for the American Birdwatching Association, is filming across the street from Blackwater Petrol's response command building in Louisiana. He is standing in a field when he is approached by a police officer. Officer: "How are you this afternoon, sir?" Wheelan: "Fine, how ..." Officer: "Can I see some identification, sir?" Wheelan (reaching for...
Special to INS - BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, received a new brain on Friday after the original was found to be functioning at only 20 percent of typical brain capacity. The new brain came from a donor described by Hayward's doctors as a "twenty-something...
New York City: Today British Petroleum filed a 50 billion dollar lawsuit against the United States in Federal Court. The suit, filed by the noted law firm of Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel demands that the United States pay BP for all of the oil that is now decorating United States beaches. Mr Rufus T Flywheel, Esq and Mr Milton K Shyster, masthead partners of the prestigious law firm were interv...
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus): A massive damage limitation exercise is under way amid fears the flame haired Mata Hari has tested positive for paternity by the disaster-hit BP boss. Officially the stunning looking Russian spook was born in the Ukr...
This afternoon, BP CEO Tony Hayward announced a totally new green business plan for his beleaguered corporate leviathan. Displaying a plate of their new product, high octane shrimp, Hayward told the hastily assembled gathering of sailing enthusia...
Many Christians are tossing around the idea that the vuvuzela has become one of the new seven deadly plagues mentioned by Pope John Paul II in a 2003 speech. In addition, they are blaming BP Oil for at least three other deadly plagues caused by the o...
Pepsicola, Florida - In a community that depends on tourism, even the worst environmental disaster in United States history isn't enough to stop the flow. In the words of Bubba, a lifelong resident, "It's all in evaluating the possibilities." Sinc...
TEHRAN, Iran - Senior Al Qaeda Leader Abu Musab al-Zarqaui has stated that he has the knowledge, the resources, the manpower, and the equipment to stop the oil that is spilling out into the Gulf of Mexico. Al-Zarqaui said that the reason that he i...
BP chief executive Tony Hayward announced the oil company's latest effort to clean up the Gulf oil spill - socks! "It's very simple really, socks float and soak up anything liquidy, so if we dump enough of them in the Gulf, we can soak up all the...
Since saying he was fully responsible and 'totally in charge' of the disastrous BP Oil Spill in the Gulf, and moving the command and control center to the White House Game Room, things have gotten more out of control culminating today with reports sa...
New Orleans, LA - Federal District Judge Martin Feldman took immediate measures to block the 6-month moratorium President Obama placed on new deepwater drilling projects due to the ongoing disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. Most people were curious as t...
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