Made famous from the original motion picture, Office Space, the infamous Swinglyne red stapler is back in the news, identified as a root cause of poor performance and general indifference for the office worker who owns the paper-to-paper attachment d...
A new study coming out tomorrow in the New York Constitution will show that male office workers have a hard time with erections. "Our study shows that a newly hired sexy lady placed only one full day in an office causes male productivity to go dow...
With the recession still ringing in the ears of many UK companies, some are taking drastic action to reduce costs. Worse than making people redundant; office Christmas parties are being cancelled. This has left many office workers with a problem;...
Lincoln, Nebraska - At L&N Collections Services facility for the Midwest Region, Janet Olsen has spent the past 47 days in her nine plus year career dwelling upon how satisfying it would be to kill her fellow workers. News of her upcoming 10th an...
1. I would not allow this employee to breed. 2. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be. 3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 4. When she stops to open her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there. 5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. 6. Thi...
350-pound Walter Keaton, local office supply entrepreneur and inventor died at his home recently after an extended illness. He was 76. Walter's widow, 375-pound Mrs. Keaton called the Jetsonville Police after she smelled "something gamey" in the...
Panic and writers' block engulfed Systems Analyst Tony Walton yesterday, as he was handed a communal leaving card for Susan Chambers - a longtime colleague at computer software firm Infobiztec. "Everyone else had written all these heartfelt or ef...
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're...
The holidays will soon be upon us and you know how those office parties will be. Well, maybe you don't, especially if it's your first with the company. So here are some helpful hints that your boss may have had a little too much spiked eggnog, even before he got there. Should any of the following happen, it might be a good thing to fake a headache and leave early so that you can keep both yo...
Today a ginger man from London was exposed as a fraud by a quick witted news editor. Dan Bellamy (41) from Cakeminster, West London had been misleading colleagues for years by telling them that the great French philosopher and essayist Voltaire (Fran...
As Polish people desert the UK in droves because they "can't stand all the immigrants", people are being advised by business organisations to shirk and not to work.
Those thinking of stand up comedy should note the recent plight of Rotherham based Sales Consultant, Kevin Ottwell who for years has been the office comedian.
The world's most boring man, Kevin Brown has once again talked a load of complete bollocks to delegates at the 75th annual accountants awards.
Want to pass the latest course at Sylvan Learning Centers? Then do away with your cordial dialogue, right now!...
Bik Pu, 37, a single South Korean man who worked in a Seoul office apparently committed suicide over the loss of "Clippy."...
In Preston an office worker has admitted that he no longer sees the point of his job, even though he has been there for fifteen years, and his 10 year plan involves nothing more than 'Thinking Time'.
WASHINGTON -- President Bush prepared to grant the traditional pardon to a gift turkey at the White House yesterday, but abruptly condemned the bird to death, accusing it of terrorism.
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