The United Nations has offered a whole bunch of "goodies", including a Swiss Ski Chalet to Libyan dictator Muammar Qadaffi if he would just "fucking leave the country so that they can declare victory and let all the rebels fall into disarray and kill...
Recent rhetoric emerging from Tripoli exhorts Islamic fundamentalists to keep fighting, as dying in battle for their God is the greatest honour. MI6 have been working hard to find a solution to this depth of extremism, and they have come up with...
Barrack Obama has taken a massive risk by sending Apaches into war torn Libya. 'These native Americans' he said 'have been misrepresented for years. They are fine fighting men. They will bring down the Gaddafi regime.' Libyan Rebels cheered as...
Colonel Gaddafi's fourth wife, known as Daffy Duck throughout Libya, has taken over from her husband who is reportedly 'indisposed'. This is the result of Gaddafi's increasing uneasiness at the Bombs that are exploding in his toliet. 'When you ca...
The Ministry of Defence has announced that British fighter planes will step up their bombing campaign against Libya by switching from cabbages to bombs. The announcement comes weeks after the military campaign to stop the Libyan Government's attac...
Accusations of 'Mission Creep' are once again being aimed at NATO and its allies after news broke that the UK was to send 4 Apache attack helicopters to Libya. Pro and anti Gaddafi commentators have expressed concern that this move presents a clea...
...Just then a cell phone rang in Edward's shirt pocket. He took it out and held it to his ear. A loud inhuman shriek pierced the air as he held it away from his ear, followed by an explosion. He looked at the screen to see the number. "That's her number..." said Edward. "What was that?" "The scream was her, the explosion? God only knows, might be the local ammo dump getting hit by Mogamb...
God it stunk to be in Tripoli with NATO bombs falling daily now. The Catatonic Bar was located near the port and thus had been spared thus far, yet there was the constant threat and badgering from Ghadaffi's swine, who all thought we should pay them not to bother us. The latest now lay in a dumpster out back when I discovered he was nothing of the sort, but a bastard friend of friend of a friend o...
David Cameron has announced that Libya is to move from it's present location to a purpose built warehouse just outside Newport Pagnel. Cameron met the new Libyan rebel leader Mustapha Laugh during a recent package holiday to Lanzarote. The British...
A Ukranian nurse, once said to be "close to" Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi, has applied for asylum in Norway. Galyna Kolotnyska was evacuated from Libya earlier on in the year after the troubles escalated and she went home to Ukraine for a while i...
London - The desperate soundbite grab of shameless self-publicists scaling the attention ladder. That's how Omar Jelban, disgraced Libyan Ambassador to the Caught of St James's, described the latest conspiracy theory. This sees delayed gratific...
London - "It's a slim chance, of course, that the Colonel will now try nuking William's in-laws' pad in Bucklebury," an MoD bigwig told reporters this morning. "But the last minute honeymoon switch was a no-brainer...and the weather's said to be l...
As Senator John McCain stepped to the lectern yesterday in his surprise visit to Libya, his aides were worried. Dressed in full battle gear, McCain had refused to wear his glasses to read his opening remarks. A stunned media and an angry crowd he...
New York - Wearing an 80 pound back pack and carrying an M16, Dr. Henry Kissinger was last seen boarding a military transport bound for the staging area (classified location) for the Libya invasion. Just prior to departing, Dr. Kissinger, panting from the exertion at his advanced age, held a brief press conference on the tarmac. His statement is given below. For years we have tried...
Senator John McCain, dressed in full battle gear, appeared on the tarmac at Andrews Air Force Base this morning to fly to Libya. Surrounded by a battalion of marines, he was heard to ask an aide,"Whose side are we on?" The aide answered "Beats th...
Fears that anarchists are behind London's Smog Crisis have grown. It is clear to intelligence services that these insurrectionists have mastered the art of weather manipulation! Smog has anarchist footprints all over it. Poisoning the entourage on...
Libyan Dictator Muammar Quaddaffy said 'things couldn't get any better' after hearing Silvio Berlusconi was sending some 'crack' Italian troops to join "Petain's Marauders', France's elite front line shock troops, to administer proper protocol in...
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