Scottish Labour today announced that it is to be genetically modified in a bold attempt to prevent it from becoming extinct. Leader Johann Lamont launched the initiative from the Glasgow Science Centre, where she says the idea first entered her...
In a rousing, rapturous Labour Party conference where only three elderly members died, the shadow chancellor appeared a shadow of his current shadow self, until his startling observations brought the house down and lit up his rotund face. Ed Balls...
Ed Miliband has finally shown his hand to the political world at large by declaring: "I want to bring Socialism back!" Considering your average voter no longer knows what socialism is this could be seen as a bit of a mute point. However Back an...
Hi everyone, and welcome to my world! My name is Edward Miliband, known mostly as Red Ed and I am fortunate to be Leader of Labour -the true people's party. I am a son of a Marxist millionaire and I live in a mansion worth couple of millions. As a true socialist I uphold high principles of socialism and dream of creating for all of you a utopian socialist paradise where everyone is equal...
The world had responded excitingly to the news that David Miliband has quit the heady world of politics to join International Rescue. At a press conference this morning held on Tracy Island, former astronaut, Jeff Tracy, head of the Tracy family,...
Voters in Eastleigh are today counting the cost at yet another hyped election that fizzled into a complete let-down. Political pundits have reflected that this one initially promised so much colour, then failed to deliver. There were several joke...
A spokesman for the "Curtains closed Unemployed Solidarity Movement" called Gordon Brown, has tonight expressed his gratitude to the 8 million people who are joining him in keeping their curtains closed in 2013 in support of the unemployed. He s...
16 piece brass band, 'The Ed Miller Band' has commenced court proceedings against the Labour Party to recoup financial losses which they attribute to an association with Labour leader and Wallace and Grommit stunt double Ed Miliband. Band founder...
London - Harold Wilson's esteemed adviser once fixed things so that 'tricky personality clashes' in the 1960s' fledgeling commercial broadcasting industry had a 'jolly good makeover' in the best interests of the nation. Entertainment industry liti...
After his gentle grilling, chewing and spitting out like a piece of shit chewing gum because it's been grilled, of the Prime Minister on his American show - David Letterman is wanted by the Labour Party. Sources close to sources that are even clos...
Prime Minister David Cameron has today confirmed his cabinet reshuffle. At a press conference early this morning, attend mainly by members of the press, Mr Cameron confirmed that his old cabinet had been effectively "thrown out the window of numbe...
Monday 16th July 2012 Topic: Tony Blair - Politics "Tony Blair announces that he would be returning to British politics" Source: Express Extract: Blair announced that he would be returning to British politics last night to contribute to Labour policy as an adviser. The former Prime Minister, who was attending an event alongside Labour leader Ed Miliband announced that he would contribute to a...
(1) Ken Livingstone "I don't think he is a fool: but what's my opinion compared to that of millions of others!" (2) Nick Clegg "His supporters would follow him anywhere... mostly out of morbid curiosity!" (3) Ed Miliband "He doesn't let his mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own!" (4) Theresa May "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet!"...
The BBC pulled off a scoop last night as it announced David Milipede will join the cast of Eastenders to play local councillor Delboy Moon - long lost cousin of nearly everybody else currently in Eastenders. Milipede has branched out into acting t...
Up to now, the political world was only aware of two Millibands, Ed and David, one the leader of the British Labour Party, the other, not the leader of the Brritish Labour Party. The rest of the family have always stayed firmly in the background.
David Cameron has finally admitted that his plan to reduce the British debt figure hasn't worked. The debt figure is now ten percent higher than it was under labour, and has topped one trillion pounds for the first time in history. "I know it soun...
Television viewers were overjoyed last night when a sex scene appeared in the background during a boring news debate. A naked blonde woman could be seen on a studio TV screen as Ed Milipede's leadership of the Labour Party was debated on McScottis...
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