Despite England's glorious failure in the Euros English football fans can at least console themselves with the fact the Premier League season starts soon. The sheer amount of money sloshing around like diarrhoea in a bucket makes it impossible that w...
As if the insanity surrounding Dutchman, King Louis van Gaal, was not enough, he has now been sentenced into exile in his Portuguese sanitorium and is being replaced by a special Portuguese Man of War, who has a lethal sting. In fact, the story is ev...
There is no doubt about the facts behind Leicester City winning the English Premier League, they were visited by aliens! It seems that after the visits the whole club has been transformed into an extra-terrestrial habitat for passing flying saucers!...
To quash all rumours, tabloid garbage, and ex- United players blowing their trumpets about Louis van Gaal, probably the most hated United manager since Dave Sexton, United's board have announced their support for the rather unstable Dutch sergeant ma...
British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp! The "Hexenjagd" of the disgraceful, lying, deceitful British tabloids has reached a new low! They claim to have Manchester United's manager, Louis van Gaal's scalp! As usual it's a bunch...
Louis van Gaal has thrown the once almighty Manchester United into a Dutch dilemma! Will he or won't he? The great question that is sending the UK Tabloids into a frenzy as they grab at every available straw dribbling out of the Theatre of Nightma...
One of the best running London soap operas has ended and a painful love affair brought to an abrupt end as the whole world wakes up to the divorce of the season; Abramovich has booted Jose! Twitter, Facebook, etc, have all gone ballistic after th...
A once very "Special One" loved by Chelsea Dandy's, Fairies and other Mad Hatters, has become yet another bloody victim of British tabloids a most desirable pack of blood-thirsty bloodhounds, unique in the world and second to none! The Daily S++r,...
Chelsea players have been implored not to dive during their head to head with Manchester City, due to a lack of medical staff on their bench. After Jose Mourinho's bizarre sending off of his medical team, it has left the London side facing a diffi...
A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...
Jose Mourinho has started using a new tactic of open players' pants if they lose a game. "It will be a fun way to decide who is going home with his virginity intact."says Jose Mourinho after the team drew 1-1 with Manchester City in the premiere l...
Jose Mourinho was unapologetic following his team's victory at Liverpool after which he admitted to parking two buses in front of the Chelsea goal. However Liverpool's management was apoplectic at the unorthodox tactics used by Mourinho claiming tha...
After getting drunk to forget the devastating loss to Sunderland, Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho blamed his toilet for not being in the right place as a lot of his excrement missed the target. Behind closed doors, Jose has been cleaning up his mess be...
Didier Drogba has tonight revealed a sensational secret that could explain his recent success at Galatasaray. He said that he has learned that success on the football pitch is not about training, and it is not about teamwork, it is, apparently, all...
Jose Mourinho is seriously considering jacking in the job as Chelsea boss to sit in the stands permanently and watch the team. Mourinho was 'sent to the stands' for arguing with the referee over the away teams time-wasting during Saturdays 4-1 win...
Dwayne Rodney finally got his wish of a transfer away from the Manc'ester devils last night - although he didn't move far - only to the away team dressing room as Marmitechester United hosted Chelsea in the first Monday night 'classico' of the season...
Jose Mourinho has rebranded himself again, following his return to Chelsea and Stamford Bridge for the first time since his acrimonious sacking by Roman Abramovitch in 2007. During his first spell, he told journalists he was the 'special one'. At...
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