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Funny satire stories about Jose Mourinho

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Funny story: The Boreiniho Effect

The Boreiniho Effect

Despite England's glorious failure in the Euros English football fans can at least console themselves with the fact the Premier League season starts soon. The sheer amount of money sloshing around like diarrhoea in a bucket makes it impossible that w...

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Funny story: The Special One replaces The Senile One!

The Special One replaces The Senile One!

As if the insanity surrounding Dutchman, King Louis van Gaal, was not enough, he has now been sentenced into exile in his Portuguese sanitorium and is being replaced by a special Portuguese Man of War, who has a lethal sting. In fact, the story is ev...

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Funny story: Encounters of a third kind in English Premier League!

Encounters of a third kind in English Premier League!

There is no doubt about the facts behind Leicester City winning the English Premier League, they were visited by aliens! It seems that after the visits the whole club has been transformed into an extra-terrestrial habitat for passing flying saucers!...

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Funny story: Record rates of suicide attempts as Manchester United announce van Gaal is to stay!

Record rates of suicide attempts as Manchester United announce van Gaal is to stay!

To quash all rumours, tabloid garbage, and ex- United players blowing their trumpets about Louis van Gaal, probably the most hated United manager since Dave Sexton, United's board have announced their support for the rather unstable Dutch sergeant ma...

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Funny story: British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp!

British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp!

British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp! The "Hexenjagd" of the disgraceful, lying, deceitful British tabloids has reached a new low! They claim to have Manchester United's manager, Louis van Gaal's scalp! As usual it's a bunch...

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Funny story: Will he or won't he?

Will he or won't he?

Louis van Gaal has thrown the once almighty Manchester United into a Dutch dilemma! Will he or won't he? The great question that is sending the UK Tabloids into a frenzy as they grab at every available straw dribbling out of the Theatre of Nightma...

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Funny story: Jose loves Abramovich, but he does not love Jose!

Jose loves Abramovich, but he does not love Jose!

One of the best running London soap operas has ended and a painful love affair brought to an abrupt end as the whole world wakes up to the divorce of the season; Abramovich has booted Jose! Twitter, Facebook, etc, have all gone ballistic after th...

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Funny story: The Special One is a victim of tabloid scumbags!

The Special One is a victim of tabloid scumbags!

A once very "Special One" loved by Chelsea Dandy's, Fairies and other Mad Hatters, has become yet another bloody victim of British tabloids a most desirable pack of blood-thirsty bloodhounds, unique in the world and second to none! The Daily S++r,...

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Funny story: Chelsea Players Asked Not To Dive During Man City Match

Chelsea Players Asked Not To Dive During Man City Match

Chelsea players have been implored not to dive during their head to head with Manchester City, due to a lack of medical staff on their bench. After Jose Mourinho's bizarre sending off of his medical team, it has left the London side facing a diffi...

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Funny story: Arsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups

Arsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups

A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...

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Funny story: Jose Mourinho decides new tactics

Jose Mourinho decides new tactics

Jose Mourinho has started using a new tactic of open players' pants if they lose a game. "It will be a fun way to decide who is going home with his virginity intact."says Jose Mourinho after the team drew 1-1 with Manchester City in the premiere l...

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Funny story: Angry Liverpool Management Complains to DVLA As Mourinho Parks Two Buses

Angry Liverpool Management Complains to DVLA As Mourinho Parks Two Buses

Jose Mourinho was unapologetic following his team's victory at Liverpool after which he admitted to parking two buses in front of the Chelsea goal. However Liverpool's management was apoplectic at the unorthodox tactics used by Mourinho claiming tha...

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Funny story: Mourinho Blames Toilet For Missing The Target

Mourinho Blames Toilet For Missing The Target

After getting drunk to forget the devastating loss to Sunderland, Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho blamed his toilet for not being in the right place as a lot of his excrement missed the target. Behind closed doors, Jose has been cleaning up his mess be...

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Funny story: Didier Drogba Reveals Sensational Secret He Learned at Galatasaray

Didier Drogba Reveals Sensational Secret He Learned at Galatasaray

Didier Drogba has tonight revealed a sensational secret that could explain his recent success at Galatasaray. He said that he has learned that success on the football pitch is not about training, and it is not about teamwork, it is, apparently, all...

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Funny story: Jose Mourinho considers quitting Chelsea to sit in stand and watch Chelsea

Jose Mourinho considers quitting Chelsea to sit in stand and watch Chelsea

Jose Mourinho is seriously considering jacking in the job as Chelsea boss to sit in the stands permanently and watch the team. Mourinho was 'sent to the stands' for arguing with the referee over the away teams time-wasting during Saturdays 4-1 win...

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Funny story: Man United v Chelsea: Rooney swaps teams at half-time

Man United v Chelsea: Rooney swaps teams at half-time

Dwayne Rodney finally got his wish of a transfer away from the Manc'ester devils last night - although he didn't move far - only to the away team dressing room as Marmitechester United hosted Chelsea in the first Monday night 'classico' of the season...

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Funny story: Jose Mourinho updates his status once more

Jose Mourinho updates his status once more

Jose Mourinho has rebranded himself again, following his return to Chelsea and Stamford Bridge for the first time since his acrimonious sacking by Roman Abramovitch in 2007. During his first spell, he told journalists he was the 'special one'. At...

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