WASHINGTON, D.C. - Senator John McCain [R-Arizona] has been accused of many things, but not being opinionated is definitely not one of them. The man who ran for president in 2008, and lost due to his running mate Sarah "Snowballs" Palin being a lo...
APALACHICOLA, Fla. - House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) today signed into a long-term Alzheimer's center long-established Arizona Senator John McCain. When asked why he did it, the terse and taciturn Boehner quipped, "It was a Republican thing to do.
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham were seen today hunting Wacko Birds in Washington, D. C., in an attempt, McCain explained, to rid the Republican Party of all the extremist kooks bubbling up from the Tea Party faction of the...
CHICAGO - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that members of the Republican Party have just about had their fill of Sarah "Snowflake" Palin. A GOP spokesperson identified as Sylvester "Kitty Kat" Katminovich, 68, stated that recent polls sh...
WASILLA, Alaska - There is probably no one more depressed in the United States than the former governor or Alaska, Sarah "Snowflake" Palin. According to her husband Todd, Sarah has been so despondent ever since she was fired from her cush job at F...
WASILLA, Alaska - Todd Palin has stated that his wife Sarah has been so depressed lately that she hasn't even shot a moose, caribou, or reindeer in over four days. Todd said that it is unlike his manly wife not to go out and get in a state-owned h...
WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that Sarah Palin feels like no one in the Lower 48 cares about her anymore. And according to recent polls the Moose Mama is absolutely right. Even her fellow Republican cronies and cohorts at FOX News made that ab...
In a report that is being vehemently denied by the offices of Senator John McCain and Senator Lindsey Graham, Politico is reporting that the two senators were seen by a maid in a local DC hotel room engaged in a Ménage à Trois with Daffy Duck of cart...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - Arizona Senator John McCain ripped President Barack Obama's failure to offer a bail out to Twinkie producer Hostess Brands this afternoon. Speaking before the US Senate, McCain called Obama a "heartless, Godless un-Amer...
WASHINGTON - As America goes to the polls today a leading image consultant says the President Barack Obama will become more white if re-elected to the White House. Obama is slightly ahead of Republican Mitt Romney in most polls and is expected to...
Mere seconds after telling reporters yesterday in Cernobbio, Italy that President Obama's Iran policy was a "train wreck," failed 2008 Presidential candidate John McCain who selected Sarah Palin to be his VP running mate regretted using the term.
While watching the Democratic National Convention yesterday, local resident Artye McDaniels, 103, was confused to find that Barack Obama is the president of the United States. "Obama is president, ya say?" A perplexed McDaniels said. "That can't...
In keeping with high standards of intellectual guidance and decent politics for a global party, GOP representatives have wound up their convention with leaps and bounds upward in a new official language, quickly becoming known as New Malarkey And Ass...
Sarah Palin was a relatively unknown politician until Senator John McCain picked her to be his vice-presidential choice on the 2008 GOP presidential ticket. And after "Snowflake" Palin and "Comb Over" McCain were soundly beaten in the presidential election the "Loose Moose" from Wasilla, Alaska, has tried her best to stay in the political spotlight. The "White Wilderness Woman" with a dozen...
PHOENIX - Mitt Romney traveled to Arizona to meet with his old friend John McCain and ask him for some political pointers. The two men met in one of the seven mansions owned by John McCain's wife Cindy. Romney asked McCain what is the best advi...
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin has written a book in which she talks about her future presidential aspirations. The book is titled How My Lack of Geographical Knowledge Sunk My Friggin Political Halibut Boat All To Hell. Palin co-authored the bo...
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