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Funny satire stories about Jesus

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Funny story: Nice painting "Looks Like Jesus"

Nice painting "Looks Like Jesus"

"Well, I bought the painting a couple of weeks ago at a garage sale over on Glen drive" explained 56-year-old Martha Flanagan amidst the throng of neighbors and pilgrims in front of her home on Kenmore rd. "I thought it was a nice colorful painting...

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Funny story: Archaeologists unearth Jesus' wank flannel

Archaeologists unearth Jesus' wank flannel

It has been hailed as the greatest religious artefact since the Turin shroud. Biblical archaelogists digging in Montana, USA, believe they have found the cloth that Jesus Christ used to mop up his masturbatory ejaculations. Some scholars have ques...

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Funny story: First Charisma Awards Competition

First Charisma Awards Competition

Hiram Grabbit of Los Angeles PR firm, LUXIFER INC., has set up what could be a global, national contest to rival Miss World and The Oscars. Luxifer has, in the past, worked closely with Scratchi and Scratchi of London in the business of cultivat...

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Funny story: Trump Self Deports Jesus

Trump Self Deports Jesus

Completely misunderstanding Mitt Romney's concept of self deportation, Donald Trump took it upon himself to deport a man to his home country. Now Donald Trump and his staff are facing kidnapping and terrorism charges after forcing Jesus Chavez, a US...

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Funny story: Jesus Tasered After Walking Into Church

Jesus Tasered After Walking Into Church

33 year old two time zombie Jesus of Nazareth was tasered by an off duty policeman Sunday morning after he entered a Catholic church during mass. Witnesses from a home across the street from the church report seeing "some scroungy looking guy" ent...

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Funny story: Trump Rebukes Jesus

Trump Rebukes Jesus

"Who the hell does He think he is, telling me to love my neighbor as myself? I don't need His advice, my neighbors all love me already. They think I'm terrific, they worship me. "And where does He get off, telling me to turn the other cheek. When someone insults me they better run for the hills, before I let them have it, on both cheeks, and kick them in the ass, too. "I don't think...

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Funny story: Jesus Hangs Up His Crown of Thorns, Looks Forward To Retirement

Jesus Hangs Up His Crown of Thorns, Looks Forward To Retirement

According a late-day press conference, God announced Jesus would no longer be in the family business and that the two had mutually agreed to part ways after over 2,000 years of working together. "It probably wasn't a good idea from the start," J...

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Funny story: Anti-Christ Postpones Arrival

Anti-Christ Postpones Arrival

The anti-Christ today issued a brief and terse statement today at the law offices of his agent on Earth Brimstone Law: "I am postponing my arrival until you people do something about this ISIS stuff. Come on, can't we just follow the script, no...

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Funny story: Planned Auction of Jesus Crucifixion Nails upset Christians, NRA

Planned Auction of Jesus Crucifixion Nails upset Christians, NRA

The National Rifle Association and the Christian Coalition have expressed outrage and organized a string of demonstrations outside the home of retired Governor of Rome, Pontus Pilate. Gov. Pilate has drawn the ire of conservative groups because of re...

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Funny story: Christine O'Donnell To Lead Anti-masturbation Effort Under President Trump

Christine O'Donnell To Lead Anti-masturbation Effort Under President Trump

Appearing together at a campaign rally in South Dakota, Christine O'Donnell and Donald Trump announced their futuristic vision to stop masturbation before it ever happens with a new government agency: The Department Of Pre-jack. After they unveiled t...

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Funny story: Said Judas Iscariot -- The Greatest Archaeological Find Ever?

Said Judas Iscariot -- The Greatest Archaeological Find Ever?

Archaeologists have uncovered in a rubbish pit outside Jerusalem what may well be the find of the century outstripping even the discovery of Tutankhamen's tomb in 1922. It is a parchment believed to have been distributed weekly among the intelligents...

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Funny story: Christian Youth Group Forms Prayer Circle Around Tornado. Banishes It To Hell.

Christian Youth Group Forms Prayer Circle Around Tornado. Banishes It To Hell.

Bentleyville, USA (AP)- Al Roker never predicted a rapturous burst of the power of prayer in his weekend forecast. The Child Soldiers For Christ youth group had assembled at their regular "divine debriefing" Sunday morning service when a loud nois...

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Funny story: Kanye Takes Credit For Trump Candidacy

Kanye Takes Credit For Trump Candidacy

Love him or hate him, but most everyone knows he regularly compares himself to Jesus, Einstein, and Da Vinci among others. Kanye West, in a new interview with Digital Underground Music Productions, takes credit for Donald Trump's run for president, a...

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Funny story: Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

As Christmas approaches, many will be decorating their homes with more than just trees and lights. For Christians, a common tradition is to put a nativity scene somewhere on display. A nativity scene uses figurines and a stable to depict the story of...

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Funny story: Trump: Birther Attack on Jesus

Trump: Birther Attack on Jesus

Donald Trump seems strong in the race for the Republican presidential nomination, but that doesn't mean he'll curb his more fringe tendencies. This week, Trump spoke at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, where he brought his brash viewpoi...

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Funny story: Ghost of Elvis Witnesses to Young Musician

Ghost of Elvis Witnesses to Young Musician

A stunning apparition that left a twenty year old witness all shook up claimed to be Elvis Presley, with a message from Heaven. Zeke was playing his guitar, in his Memphis garage, when suddenly, lightning struck outside, and an apparition stood be...

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Funny story: Jesus Is A Sellout, Says God

Jesus Is A Sellout, Says God

God, The Almighty, sensationally slammed his own son yesterday, labelling him a 'sellout'. The omnipotent Supreme Being was talking at the 'Save The Church Bell' committee meeting in Farnborough, when he made the shock statement. Asked if Jesus...

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