J.K.Rowling's forthcoming sex-change operation has come as a shock for many. But even more shocking are the reasons for it. Now, WikiLeaks director Julian Assange, from his cave in Northern Afghanistan, has released to our paper the "Vagina Observer" a tape that was secretly recorded of the conference that led to this momentous announcement. The meeting in Bremen, Northwestern Germany was hasti...
The Christening took place yesterday morning of David Gordon Rowling Murray, son of J.K.Rowling and quiet husband Neil Murray. A select group of family and friends gathered for the ceremony at St. Patrick's Roman Catholic Church in Edinburgh. Rowling's agent and ex-flame Chris Little was godfather. Papal envoy, Cardinal Pedro Philia, was unable to make it as his Volvo was in a headlong smash w...
The hardest winter in living memory seems set to return with a vengeance to the UK before long, writes Belinda Barrelscraper, Storm on the Cultural Horizon Correspondent. The UK is currently enjoying a brief respite from a record-breaking winter o...
It began with a humble parking ticket being slapped on J.K.Rowling's Rolls Royce as it loitered outside Buckingham Palace where she had called in to visit her rival, the Queen of England, in company with Gordon Brown, Neil Blair and her agent Christo...
J.K.Rowling's global PR agency "Hoodwink & Dupe Inc", has just released news that she is to stand for parliament under a Labour ticket. Her close friend ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown after whom her son "David Gordon" is named and whose political...
Billionaire literary agent Christopher Little hired the QE2 for a huge bash in anticipation of his 'discovery' J.K.Rowling's receiving a Damehood in the forthcoming 2011 New Years Honours List. As he boarded the colossal ship with his partner Neil Blair and several members of his in-house writers' team he refused to disclose what his supreme optimism was based on; "It's in the bag," was all he man...
Scotland Edinburgh; In what at the time was the best kept secret next to the true origins of 'her' Harry Potter story, J.K.Rowling's giving birth to a baby boy was almost relegated to a non-event by the British media for reasons that continue to baff...
The case against J.K.Rowling in Edinburgh's Criminal Court for shoplifting went ahead yesterday. Woolworth's representative Lionel Peasbody gave testimony to the effect that he saw a lady wearing a long black cloak, pointed boots and tall peake...
Private Eye got onto him first. That's how I got to know about it as one of their freelances. In fact, he contacted them from Heathrow airport. He was angry they told me and to take care. But he had a story. He was none other than J.K.Rowling's secret boyfriend from many years back. I imagined he would be weedy, bookish, a nerd. He was the guy she never talked about and only mention...
Reports are coming in of mad partying at Rowling's mansion in Edinburgh. Barking dogs and loud music kept neighbours awake all night as Rowling and writer chums Ian Rankin, Neil Gaiman and McCall-Smith were seen cavorting naked under spotlights on th...
Rowling speaks out about being snubbed for Damehood. This exclusive interview was conducted in an underground bunker just outside of Stuttgart, Germany. Only one camera was allowed and J.K. Rowling's people insisted it be trained on the interviewee's feet throughout. It took place just prior to the release of the latest Harry Potter movie called "Harry Potter Show-Down in the Phonebox... with...
London - (Gong Hits 4 Hogwarts!): A simple £10 million bung to the Duke of Edinburgh University medical school was all it took. It will fund the building of a dedicated treatment center for degenerative personality diseases - to treat plagiarists...
London - (Death Star Stuff): The poison pus of public orifice that is William Jefferson Clinton is finally ready to burst. Forty years of covering up this putrid boil are being exposed in a damning Wikileaks revelation. This coincides with Mon...
Now that the seven book trilogy has been completed, it has come to light why Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was killed off before the series was complete. Apparently the character had a showdown with Rowling, demanding to be kil...
Edinburgh - (Pirate Ass Mess): Did self-publicising philanthropisst and children's author JK Rowling pay Somali pirates to release Paul and Rachel Chandler? A look of playful glee on her finely botoxed - er...chiselled! - features may belie the se...
London - (Slitherin Slutz Mess): London soothsayers are adamant: tomorrow's Deathly Hallows Part 1 London premiere is cursed beyond salvation. Frantic calls to management at the Odious Cinema in Leicester Square have fallen on deaf ears - despite...
Scotland - (Reuterus): "And why not?" the children's fiction hoaxer chuckled. "Getting away with the first seven volumes has been such a doddle that Books Nos# 7, 8, 9 etc would be a walkover." The Scots plagiarist was defending a rich Walter Mitt...
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