Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse was voted Number One Problem-Solving Equine in a Gallop Poll Dear Robert, I am a kleptomaniac. My flat is like Aladdin's Cave. I have just come back from town with three lampshades, an electric blanket and a pork pie hat. I can hardly move for contraband. What can I do? Jim Carner Goodwood Robert Pattinson writes: Neigh, neigh, hinny. Thoo's saddle...
London - A damage limitation exercise is under way tonight after someone posted 'doctored' pictures on the internet of David Cameron's face superimposed onto a bare-chested image of Vladimir Putin riding his favorite white charger 'Cool Sun'. Down...
London - Officers from the Met's Mounted Branch played an absolute blinder it was revealed today as details emerged of a gift whorse (sic) loaned to Rebekah Brooks back in 2008. A twelve year old nag - nicknamed 'Elveden' after a Met probe into do...
Horseradish sauce, the white sauce that is twenty percent vegetable and eighty percent concentrated sulphuric acid with a dash of chilli to cool down the acid. However, it has come under fire by the Naming Convention Society as the unpopular condimen...
Race horses have been given names like Happen-stance Roadwork and Mountaineer Roadblock the Fifth for far too long according to the Equine Naming Institute. "It is getting sillier and sillier," said Hopwood Felicitous, co-ordinator of horse names...
The winner of the 2.30 at Sandown Park went celebrating after his victory, upending his jockey and galloping off towards the River Thames for a much needed drink. He was found by a pensioner wandering near the river who contacted the Police: 'Ther...
A small cult of horses have begun to worship a horse messiah, who in their eyes is a man who worked in the horse-pleasuring industry and who died for his sins. Mr Hands is a disgusting man who, let us say, enjoyed the company of horses, perhaps a...
London - Rebekah Wade has been arrested for a series of sartorial horrors involving some truly horrendous hacking jackets. A series of disgraceful equestrian haute couture faux pas has seen the wife of ex-National Hunt trainer Charlie Brooks haule...
London - A rogue killer cucumber is the prime suspect behind the sudden tragic death of Murphy, an army parade horse. The beast was taking part in a Royal Gun Salute when it tripped over a 'mystery object' in London's Hyde Park. Within seconds...
Shergar, County Louse - A 500-gallon drum of the strong stuff has seen the Queen vow to inseminate flagging House of Windsor genomes. The Irish national equine center gift will hopefully inject some much-needed spunk into the current mutant bloodl...
The owner of a pony who tried to board a train at Wrexham General railway station yesterday, claims that the animal has never before travelled by train, and much prefers going by bus. Dai Boony, 51, was taking his pony, Trigger, for a day out to C...
Bluegrass, Kentucky - Uncle Mo, the first openly gay horse to ever run in the Kentucky Derby, has been scratched due to illness and will not be running on Derby Day. Uncle Mo's owners and jockey expressed sadness and dismay that Mo, a pack favorit...
The Queen has been forced to give up riding, her favourite pastime, because of chronic knee pain. The condition has also meant that she has had to have a £1million lift installed at her Sandringham home. Knee pain is a terrible burden for horses.
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - Well it looks like Justin Bieber will now have a place where he can keep the birthday present he received from Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. The two teen queens bought their best friend Justin a Shetland pony for his 17th birthday. And although Justin was thrilled beyond belief to receive the little horse named "Little Fella" he was faced with the problem of where to keep...
LOS ANGELES - Two of America's favorite young female singers have just bought one of America's favorite male singers a very special birthday gift. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato went on eBay and purchased a Shetland pony to give to their fellow sing...
Londoner's were left in no doubt yesterday about Mayor Johnson's determination to see levels of carbon emissions reduced in the capital when he announced that horse drawn hansom cabs are to return to the streets of London this summer. The 5 year cont...
LEGAL LOONY FARM- A South Carolina court house that sentenced a black man to prison for having sex with a horse refused to press charges against the same man for having sex with three young white males that were housed in the same prison cell where...
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