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Funny satire stories about Homeland Security

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Funny story: Fruit flies infest White House

Fruit flies infest White House

The White House was closed this weekend while attendants fumigated the president's offices for a pest infestation.

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Funny story: President Bush Gives Power to His Power

President Bush Gives Power to His Power

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - President Bush added power to the power to the power that he gave himself by approving new CIA methods Friday.

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Funny story: Chertoff Homeland Security Gut War

Chertoff Homeland Security Gut War

Michael Chertoff's announcement of a "gut feeling" or "feeling in his gut" that the U.S. may be struck again by Al Qaeda terrorists should be commended and not subject to criticism by knit picking, hair splitting, cuff scoffin...

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Funny story: Department of Homeland Insecurity Sends Out Bum Squad

Department of Homeland Insecurity Sends Out Bum Squad

New York, New York (IP) - The Department of Homeland Insecurity issued a red alert at New York's largest airport today and issued an order for their highly trained bum squad to round up all of the unusual suspects. Men of Middle Eastern appearan...

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Funny story: Barry Goldwater Rolls Over

Barry Goldwater Rolls Over

I rise today to discuss the National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive , signed on May 9, 2007 which declares that in the event of a "catastrophic event", George W. Bush can become what is best described as "a dictator". I refer you to the speach I made in 1964 at the Republican National nominating convention:...

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Funny story: Abstinence Program Fails; Bush Sets Puberty Age at 18

Abstinence Program Fails; Bush Sets Puberty Age at 18

A Study commissioned by Congress promoting abstinence only programs has proven completely ineffective in preventing or delaying teenagers from having sexual intercourse. Therefore, President Bush has set the minimum age for puberty at 18 for all U.S...

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Funny story: President Bush: Fight in Iraq Essential to American Security

President Bush: Fight in Iraq Essential to American Security

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - United States Coast Guard Academy, New London, Connecticut - May 23, 2007 President George W. Bush made a speech at the United States Coast Guard Academy.

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Funny story: Top Secret document leaked.

Top Secret document leaked.

The following document is the results of a study conducted by the Department of Homeland Security last Christmas season. It deals with a threat that Americans deal with every year. This document was classified Top Secret but was leaked when someone accidentally left it in the copier machine at a local post office.

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Funny story: Prestigeous Humor Website NSA Sting Operation.

Prestigeous Humor Website NSA Sting Operation.

According to a classified document obtained by our investigative reporter, the prestigious humor website TheSpoof.com is a covert sting operation run by the National Security Agency (NSA) to out opponents of the The Sheik Formerly Kn...

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Funny story: American Idol : Sanjaya Malakar Voting Fraud Exposed

American Idol : Sanjaya Malakar Voting Fraud Exposed

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA--(BREAKING NEWS) Sanjaya Malakar, the latest American hopeful destine to be this seasons "American Idol" winner has been exposed as a fraud. Audiences had to endure total degradation o...

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Funny story: Homeland Security Bans Urine From Flights

Homeland Security Bans Urine From Flights

In a press release from the Secretary of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, earlier today, it appears passengers with any sort of liquid in their bodies will not be allowed to board.

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Funny story: "No Shop" List Next Step in Securitizing America

"No Shop" List Next Step in Securitizing America

North Portsmouth, RI - The department of Homeland Security today announced the start of an expanded terrorist identification program, the new measures to be put into service at grocery stores and shopping malls.

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Funny story: Homeland Security Announces "Shoot on Sight" Policy.

Homeland Security Announces "Shoot on Sight" Policy.

As a follow up to the recently announced "Automatic Targeting System" by the department of Homeland Security, government officials released what they see as the next step in a process designed to rid the world of terrorists, trouble makers,...

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Funny story: DHS Publishes New Survival Guidelines

DHS Publishes New Survival Guidelines

This afternoon, in an attempt to prepare our citizens to meet the latest challenges on the war on terror, Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff met with journalists at Pinal Air base near Tucson, AZ. In a 10 minute briefing, Secretary Chertoff out...

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Funny story: Homeland Security Database Hacked by Nuns

Homeland Security Database Hacked by Nuns

Washington, DC - In a surprise admission of real stupidity Homeland Security Inspector General Dick B. Skinny admitted that the database of national monuments and other places subject to terrorist attack had been hacked by a group of nuns calling the...

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Funny story: Michael Brown and Michael Chertoff Throw in the Towel

Michael Brown and Michael Chertoff Throw in the Towel

Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael Brown and Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff resigned their posts this morning under growing pressure from the four small companies that manufacture all the beads for...

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Funny story: Devil Kitty warns Bush - "Impending Doom unless you meet with Cindy"

Devil Kitty warns Bush - "Impending Doom unless you meet with Cindy"

Homeland Security officials have raised the terror threat color to the level beige after receiving an odd sort of tape purportedly showing a talking demonic "cat" predicting impending doom upon the president if he did not meet with his mist...

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