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Funny satire stories about Florida

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Funny story: Northern Floridians Await Circumcision

Northern Floridians Await Circumcision

Tallahasee - Now that election officials have finally tallied up the votes from yet another tangled mess of a Presidential election in the sunshine state, it has left many residents in the nation's most phallic-like state feeling rather… limp. Wit...

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Funny story: Obama wins Florida, vows "A change is coming to the Penis State!"

Obama wins Florida, vows "A change is coming to the Penis State!"

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (ABSNN) - The Florida Secretary of State certified today that Barack Obama won the state's election by a razor-thin margin of 74,000 votes. Tea Party freshman Congressman, Allen West, was defeated by fewer than 3,000 votes b...

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Funny story: Zombies for Romney claims Florida group

Zombies for Romney claims Florida group

OCALA, Florida (ABSNN) - The National Chapter of Zombies USA, or ZUSA, overwhelmingly endorsed Mitt Romney for President today. According to ZUSA officials "our membership voted 6710 to 47 in favor endorsing Mitt Romney over Barack Obama in the upco...

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Funny story: No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...

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Funny story: NASCAR Announces A Monumental Change In Its Races

NASCAR Announces A Monumental Change In Its Races

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida - NASCAR first came into being in 1947, when it was organized by Bill France. The auto racing giant now sanctions over 1,500 races in over 40 states including the countries of Switzerland, Cambodia, and Bolivia. NASCAR Vi...

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Funny story: George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips

George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips

SANFORD, Florida - Well it appears that The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus has come to Sanford. Just when it seems that the Zimmerman Saga could not get any weirder, Georgy Porgy's wife Shellie "Belly" Zimmerman comes out of the wo...

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Funny story: National Hurricane Center Releases Revised List of Hurricane Names for 2012

National Hurricane Center Releases Revised List of Hurricane Names for 2012

Miami (SAPP) - As reported on May 27, the National Hurricane Center (NHC) in Miami has changed the list of hurricane names for the 2012 season to generic names. As done in previous years, each name will be used in alphabetical order. See the previous story for the rationale behind the new list of hurricane names. Here is the complete list: Atta boy Bro Chick Dude EBT Card Friend...

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Funny story: Mother Who Switched Baby 20 Years Ago, Suing the Other Mother - Kid Turned out to be a Real Dud

Mother Who Switched Baby 20 Years Ago, Suing the Other Mother - Kid Turned out to be a Real Dud

A Clearwater, Florida woman who switched her baby with another woman's is now suing the other woman for 18 trillion dollars. The woman, Fredrika Five-Fingers, claims the kid from the other woman has caused her 20 years of heartache and financial los...

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Funny story: Florida Bear Comes Out of the Wild, Is Eager to Go Back In

Florida Bear Comes Out of the Wild, Is Eager to Go Back In

In his first interview, one with a Spoof reporter, the bear discussed the recent time he spent mingling with humans. "Nothing to write home about," he said, "if I could write, that is. Frankly, I'll be glad to get back to the wild." The bear ha...

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Funny story: Zimmerman's Conversation With Hannity Revealed

Zimmerman's Conversation With Hannity Revealed

Sanford, FL - In a bombshell press conference yesterday, defense attorneys Hal Uhrig and Craig Sonner revealed to the press that their former client, George Zimmerman, had spoken with Fox News commentator Sean Hannity. That same evening, Hannity too...

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Funny story: Zimmerman Vindicated: Cries For "Help" Were Trayvon Martin's

Zimmerman Vindicated: Cries For "Help" Were Trayvon Martin's

SANFORD, FL - Voice analysis experts examining audio evidence in the Trayvon Martin case have determined that the voice heard yelling for "help" in the 911 calls likely belonged to Trayvon Martin, and not George Zimmerman. In response, Sanford Polic...

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Funny story: Neanderthal 'Swamp Ape' corporation awarded 'Alligator Alley' concession

Neanderthal 'Swamp Ape' corporation awarded 'Alligator Alley' concession

TALLAHASSEE -- The Florida State Legislature on Friday granted the newly recognized Swamp Ape corporate tribe the lucrative I-75 "Alligator Alley" concessions contract, but the Seminole Tribe will be retained to provide labor. The Seminoles salva...

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Funny story: Romney admits he doesn't understand what 'poor' means

Romney admits he doesn't understand what 'poor' means

On CNN his morning, GOP frontrunner Mitt-in-the-Mouth Romney tells presenter Solidad O'Brian that the concept of 'poor' is not within his vocabulary or comprehension. "I have never met a poor person," he admitted, "Where do they live? Are they ne...

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Funny story: Alligator explodes in python's belly, it farted!

Alligator explodes in python's belly, it farted!

In the Florida's Everglades National Park an alien species of python, the Burmese version, attempted to swallow an alligator whole, in its entirety and still alive. The python measured 3,9 metres and the alligator a mere 6 foot (1,9 metres), an un...

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Funny story: Palin Stumps for Gingrich, Newt's End is Near

Palin Stumps for Gingrich, Newt's End is Near

Poking her uninvited nose into one more media hype cycle, Sarah Palin has announced her staunch support of fellow conservative, Newt Gingrich, just in time for the Florida primary. With a political win-loss record of 0-2, Palin somehow felt that h...

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Funny story: Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Gingrich Lobbies Tiger Woods for Support in Florida

Emerging like a Phoenix in South Carolina after his second wife dropped the infidelity bomb on him, Newt Gingrich is now lobbying Tiger Woods for campaign support in Florida, says "they're kindred spirits". Referring to Tiger's ability to launch a...

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Funny story: Yeti Lobster Spotted in Key West

Yeti Lobster Spotted in Key West

Everyone has heard of the Yeti, the hairy bipedal creature who is said to live in the colder regions on Earth. While scientists can't say for certain if the Yeti actually exists, they have come to the conclusion that there is such a creature as the...

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