Washington DC: President Obama was informed today that there was a crashed space capsule on the lawn of the White House. Federal officials cannot explain how this object went completely undetected by NORAD until landing and being found by the first d...
EARTH - The 6.9bn human beings on the planet today managed, against all the odds, to survive. Humans, who are remarkable at not somehow screwing themselves over, messing shit up, will live to suck another day. Today, the human race managed not...
Employers around the world have been reporting increases in staff absences due to illness this week - and the Japanese earthquake is to blame, say experts. Boffins reckon that the huge quake last Friday shifted the Earth on its axis by 6.5 inches.
The government have announced they have been informed by the BBC that they will have to go off-air for an anticipated period of at least two months beginning from early March this year following confirmation from NASA that the earth's magnetic poles...
Meteorologists and Air Traffic Controllers (ATC) in Tampa, Miami, USA believe that they may have solved the mystery of the untimely demise of flocks of birds. Flight crew on board several aircraft preparing to land on runway 36 at Tampa Airport ha...
The duo of Earl and Dale, aliens that are responsible for keeping Earth from destruction ala Horton Hears a Who, have reportedly lost funding from their government. Troubled economic times have spilled over to the universe leading several economis...
HEAVEN, GOD'S PARADISE - God, also known as Yahweh and Allah, was wondering whatever happened to that planet of humans. "Earf..." he tried to recall. "Earg...something like that." He remembered creating this Earth as a test planet back in the E...
The Universe is teeming with other planets capable of supporting alien life, according to a new study. After studying stars similar to the Sun, astronomers found that almost one in four have planets similar to Earth but have been keeping themselv...
A retired Methodist Minister claims that the Bible which supposedly depicts the history of our planet since the time God created it and everything in it was really written about another planet. He claims that astronomers have recently discovered a pl...
An astronomer claims to have found the most Earth-like planet yet - and he believes it could support life. The unusual find is doubly unusual due to where it was found. "At first I thought I was going bonkers" says the astro-boffin "I had just tak...
Scientists revealed Thursday that a seven-planet solar system located 127 light-years away in the constellation Hydrus may include multiple super-earths that would dwarf our puny excuse for a celestial body in comparison. Earth, already plagued wi...
NASA scientists were quick to reassure the world's population that we don't face imminent doom just yet. We've got at least until 2013 before the brown stuff hits the fan. The apparent problem is a cyclical increase in sunspot and solar storm a...
Charlottesville, VA. - Today at commencement ceremonies at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, VA., President Obama unveiled his new plan to save the Earth. Reading from a prepared statement the President said that all of us are aware...
The recent launching of a U.S. military rocket finally began making sense today even though the military still will not discuss it. However, our reporters have uncovered a copy of half-shredded military records that say that headquarters in Housto...
Mad Micky Morrison the former scientist who is as mad as a hatter claimed today that the earthquake in China, and the Volcanic eruption in Iceland are caused by the fact that Planet X is now even closer to earth which is going to increase the number...
Forget global warming and ice age Winters. According to new scientific thinking the Earth is actually rejecting human life. Following massive global disasters such as hurricanes, tsunamis, floods and landslides affecting every corner of the globe...
NASA's Kepler space telescope has apparently discovered a planet that is like Earth only much nicer, according to NASA scientists. "The planet the telescope discovered is in the constellation Hydra", said Kepler program manager James Franson. "It...
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