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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: New Diet Involves Counting

New Diet Involves Counting

We've been told to count calories if we want to control our weight. But now we need to do even more counting, according to a new weight control strategy recommended by the specialist counting agency Counts 'R'Us. They say that if we expend exactly...

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Funny story: Christina Aguilera Shows Off Her Skinny, Beach-Ready Body

Christina Aguilera Shows Off Her Skinny, Beach-Ready Body

VENICE BEACH - Christina Aguilera has lost quite a bit of weight lately and she is not shy about letting people know it and showing it. Aguilera who was recently photographed on Venice Beach wearing one of the skimpiest, sexiest bikini swimsuits m...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin Says The Anorexic Rumors Are Nothing But Reindeer Droppings

Sarah Palin Says The Anorexic Rumors Are Nothing But Reindeer Droppings

WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that Sarah Palin feels like no one in the Lower 48 cares about her anymore. And according to recent polls the Moose Mama is absolutely right. Even her fellow Republican cronies and cohorts at FOX News made that ab...

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Funny story: Lady Gaga's New Year's Resolution

Lady Gaga's New Year's Resolution

NEW YORK CITY - All of the Times Square New Year's Eve confetti and streamers have long been swept away by the NYC sanitation workers and the fireworks smoke has dissipated out over the Nova Scotia coastline. And Lady Gaga once again has sat down...

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Funny story: Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera of the Voice appeared on the American Music Award Show and it was no secret that she has put on a bit of poundage. Miss Aguilera does not try to hide the fact, especially since anyone can physically see it. H...

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Funny story: George Lopez Says Kirstie Alley Needs To Go On The Tortilla Diet

George Lopez Says Kirstie Alley Needs To Go On The Tortilla Diet

LA HABRA - Comedian George Lopez was in La Habra checking on a low-rider that he saw in The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle. As he was sitting in The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant he was approached by Pico de Gallo a reporter with Tittle Tattle Toni...

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Funny story: Terrifying New Drug Sweeps Country

Terrifying New Drug Sweeps Country

A new sinister drug is sweeping the country, say government and police officials, and it is set to bring despair and misery to the population. The drug has swept in to every facet of our society, from the rich and well-to-do areas of Kent, to the...

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Funny story: The U.S. Health Department Has Banned Jessica Simpson's Diet

The U.S. Health Department Has Banned Jessica Simpson's Diet

LOS ANGELES - Since having her baby on May 1, Jessica Simpson has tried desperately to lose some of the astounding weight she gained during her 10 month pregnancy. She recently sat down with Kiowa Kettle of Tittle Tattle Tonight and quipped that t...

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Funny story: LeAnn Rimes Upset At One Pound Weight Gain

LeAnn Rimes Upset At One Pound Weight Gain

SAN FRANCISCO - LeAnn Rimes had just finished performing her concert and was backstage at The Veni, Vidi, Vici Coliseum where she spoke with Grilletta Brewburger of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine. Miss Brewburger asked the 63-pound singer how she felt the...

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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Begs LeAnn Rimes To Help Her Lose Weight

Jessica Simpson Begs LeAnn Rimes To Help Her Lose Weight

LOS ANGELES - Jessica Simpson had her baby ten weeks ago and the singer/actress has yet to lose any of the weight she gained during her ten month pregnancy. Jessica gave birth to Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson on May 1, and she is reported ext...

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Funny story: Kirstie Alley Kisses Her Diet Bye-Bye As She Balloons Up To 230 Pounds

Kirstie Alley Kisses Her Diet Bye-Bye As She Balloons Up To 230 Pounds

LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley was recently spotted at a Tall Timbers Supermarket in Encino with a grocery cart hooked on to a second grocery cart. According to an employee of the food giant, Ms. Alley had loaded the first shopping cart with items su...

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Funny story: Bloomberg Shrinking The Big Apple's Waistline With A Supersized Attack On 'Fatty Freedom'

Bloomberg Shrinking The Big Apple's Waistline With A Supersized Attack On 'Fatty Freedom'

New York's diminutive mayor has launched a campaign to shrink the city's citizenry down to size - one resident at a time. The effort began today with a ban on super-sized sugared drinks and will progress with the construction of "fat farms" in ea...

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Funny story: Fighting the flab? There's an app for that

Fighting the flab? There's an app for that

Flab Fighters have finally released their app for helping the overweight become slimmer than a snowball's chance in Hell in the shortest time possible. "Looking at me," said App World! editor, Mac Buck, "you wouldn't guess that I'm overweight. How...

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Funny story: Rectal Surgery and Specialty Trousers New Weight Loss Trend

Rectal Surgery and Specialty Trousers New Weight Loss Trend

With many Americans unable to change life long eating habits, a new medical procedure coupled with prosthetic pants may be the desirable answer. Developed by Dr. C. Emmett Sakatt a colorectal surgical specialist with extraordinarily long fingers,...

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Funny story: Gwyneth rapped for selling detox diet kit on her website

Gwyneth rapped for selling detox diet kit on her website

Gwyneth Apple has been rapped for promoting a 21-day 'detox' diet. The actress, 39, is selling the £275 'Cleanse' kit on her website Goof. It involves eating one low-calorie meal a day, two protein shakes and vitamins. 'LESS BLOATED' One mug...

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Funny story: Britain's Hottest Diet causes dieters to shed ten kilos a week

Britain's Hottest Diet causes dieters to shed ten kilos a week

The latest fad diet to streak across Britain is the Britain's Hottest Diet diet, which has left some dieters so emaciated that they qualify for NHS anorexia aid. "This diet really works," said Anne Heemia housewife, who shed thirty kilos in three...

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Funny story: Pie And Pizza Diet Named 'World's Worst Ever'

Pie And Pizza Diet Named 'World's Worst Ever'

The International Federation Of Dieticians today named The Pie And Pizza Diet the worst in the world - ever. The diet, brainchild of Professor KFC McDonald of Sunderland College Of Arts And Technology was universally acknowledged as being utterly...

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