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Funny story: Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager, related to Jay Leno, American Late Night Talk Show Host

Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager, related to Jay Leno, American Late Night Talk Show Host

Steve Bruce has often wondered if the comments made by his family, friends and colleagues, regarding the possibility that he is, somehow related to American, Late Night Talk Show host, Jay Leno, may indeed be true. There is definitely a marked res...

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Funny story: "Pear-shaped" Genes Uncovered

"Pear-shaped" Genes Uncovered

Parts of our DNA that influence body shape - including the classic "apple" or "pear" shapes in women - have been revealed by scientists. Using super-powerful electron microscopes, the boffins have identified the 13 genes - which seem to have a gre...

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Funny story: New Dog DNA Database

New Dog DNA Database

In an amazing extension to the DNA database in England police will be visiting every home to take a sample of the owner's dog's DNA for a new DDD (Dog DNA Database). A new process allows police to identify dog DNA from their urine. The first test...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has his DNA sequenced

Ozzy Osbourne has his DNA sequenced

The self styled Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne has had his genome sequenced, joining a very select band of people. The intention is to see what kind of genetic changes have allowed him to still be alive despite decades of substance abuse. Whils...

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Funny story: Geneticist Synthetically Recreates Stephen Hawking's DNA

Geneticist Synthetically Recreates Stephen Hawking's DNA

A well-known geneticist has created DNA identical to that of Stephen Hawking, and claims that when injected into specially prepared bacteria cells, the synthetic organism will be capable of building a time machine. Said the scientist, "This is the...

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Funny story: Scientists make 'artificial life'

Scientists make 'artificial life'

Scientists in the US have succeeded in developing the first synthetic living cell. The researchers copied an existing bacterial genome. They sequenced its genetic code and then used "synthesis machines" to chemically construct a copy. Affectionat...

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Funny story: Neanderthals DNA Lives On In Milton Keynes

Neanderthals DNA Lives On In Milton Keynes

Scientists have revealed that traces of Neanderthal DNA has been discovered in several people living in Milton Keynes. The DNA suggests that Neanderthals mated with Homo Sapiens, possibly in Newport Pagnel one Friday night. The result of these enc...

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Funny story: Gene sequencing goes viral

Gene sequencing goes viral

Seattle's prodigy inventor Bart S. Sampson announced today his process of etching microscopic robots that reassemble DNA in situ. "That book my mom made me read about some dog swallowing an invading space armada got me thinking about microscopic a...

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Funny story: DNA tests positively link church reformer to ZZ Top

DNA tests positively link church reformer to ZZ Top

Texas rock duo ZZ Top has been conclusively linked to early church father John Calvin. "It was one of those things that we probably could have guessed at years ago but it took modern science to make it conclusive," said Prof. Jerome Hugginshire, r...

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Funny story: Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

A recent mid morning TV show has revealed that Arsenal's Andrey Arshavin is indeed related to UK actor Michael York and not, as previously thought, Alexandr the meerkat. DNA experts have said that this outcome was simples. Meanwhile, Michael Yo...

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Funny story: Former Chief U.N. Weapons Inspector Scott Ritter has perfect DNA

Former Chief U.N. Weapons Inspector Scott Ritter has perfect DNA

Former chief United Nations weapons inspector Scott Ritter is said to posses excelent DNA based on his age and brody, powerful body. Professor Dan Johnson, a DNA specialist said "The world is losing good qualified men because of the easy life huma...

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Funny story: Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Scientists at the Kodos Institute in Argentina, South America, have discovered a genetic mechanism for patronisation. Genes are curled up little things inside your cells, which tell your body how to make itself. You get them from your mother and...

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Funny story: Qatari Sheikha's DNA under the microscope amid human/dinosaur hybrid fears

Qatari Sheikha's DNA under the microscope amid human/dinosaur hybrid fears

Doh! Ha! - (Empty Quarter): Scientists are baffled. The genetic code of the wife of one of the world's richest men has sent shockwaves among paleontology's cryptozoologists. Sheikha Mozzah's DNA has been traced to mutant human/dinosaur remains...

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Funny story: Massive DNA Test Taken At Rallies Show 100% of Protestors Are Cousins

Massive DNA Test Taken At Rallies Show 100% of Protestors Are Cousins

In the biggest single DNA test in history which were taken across the country at T-Bagger rallies, results show that 100% of the attendees are cousins! A spokesman for the testing company stated...."We thought we knew the results before we began..

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Funny story: Horse genome fully sequenced by mad scientist

Horse genome fully sequenced by mad scientist

DENVER, Colo - A scientist is mad because horse genes match his so closely, he suspects a horse is his father. According to my source, Dr. Mare, the genes of a wild Arabian have been completely decoded by the mad scientist, a Dr. Whinny. The work...

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Funny story: Baltimore Not to Ban Plastic Bags, Considers a DNA Data Base

Baltimore Not to Ban Plastic Bags, Considers a DNA Data Base

Baltimore MD: The Baltimore City Council had considered a resolution to ban the use of plastic supermarket bags. Activists had proposed substitutes, such as paper bags, reusing existing bags or a city tax of five cents per plastic bag. Bowing to...

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Funny story: New DNA Coding Discovered

New DNA Coding Discovered

Washington DC: The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released new findings relative to DNA research being conducted at their laboratory facilities. The DNA replication sequence has been further decoded, providing some very startling results. Sam...

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