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Funny satire stories about DNA

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Funny story: Scientists Point to Royal Wedding Guest List as Reason "Cloning" is 'Affront to God!'

Scientists Point to Royal Wedding Guest List as Reason "Cloning" is 'Affront to God!'

The Royal Institute of General Medical Science, noted for their study of Genes and DNA, said the upcoming wedding of Prince William will provide the setting for the largest gathering in history of mutant strains of human DNA. The Prince will marry...

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Funny story: Gagged: Red Tops mobile hacking spree sought Jeffrey Epstein/Princess Eugenie paternity test results

Gagged: Red Tops mobile hacking spree sought Jeffrey Epstein/Princess Eugenie paternity test results

London - A super-injunction obtained by the Queen forbids any mention of it. Nor any reference to forensick (sic) analysis of the Princess' Royal Truss Fund credits. But moves under Parliamentary Privilege next week will seek to establish if fa...

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Funny story: Spoof writer 'Lady Godiva' is about to reveal that one of the male Spoofers is her half brother

Spoof writer 'Lady Godiva' is about to reveal that one of the male Spoofers is her half brother

Lady Godiva confided in another Spoof Writer that she recently discovered a fellow spoof writer is indeed her half brother. She is wondering whether or not, at this time, to conduct a POLL on The Spoof site and let the writers have a bit o' fun wi...

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Funny story: Gene Kits being misused

Gene Kits being misused

A new kit has been released that will tell the user what colour hair a person has from a sample of their DNA. This joins the ranks of other kits that determine paternity, eye colour and racial origins. Initially developed for use by law enforcemen...

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Funny story: Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager, related to Jay Leno, American Late Night Talk Show Host

Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager, related to Jay Leno, American Late Night Talk Show Host

Steve Bruce has often wondered if the comments made by his family, friends and colleagues, regarding the possibility that he is, somehow related to American, Late Night Talk Show host, Jay Leno, may indeed be true. There is definitely a marked res...

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Funny story: "Pear-shaped" Genes Uncovered

"Pear-shaped" Genes Uncovered

Parts of our DNA that influence body shape - including the classic "apple" or "pear" shapes in women - have been revealed by scientists. Using super-powerful electron microscopes, the boffins have identified the 13 genes - which seem to have a gre...

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Funny story: New Dog DNA Database

New Dog DNA Database

In an amazing extension to the DNA database in England police will be visiting every home to take a sample of the owner's dog's DNA for a new DDD (Dog DNA Database). A new process allows police to identify dog DNA from their urine. The first test...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has his DNA sequenced

Ozzy Osbourne has his DNA sequenced

The self styled Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne has had his genome sequenced, joining a very select band of people. The intention is to see what kind of genetic changes have allowed him to still be alive despite decades of substance abuse. Whils...

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Funny story: Geneticist Synthetically Recreates Stephen Hawking's DNA

Geneticist Synthetically Recreates Stephen Hawking's DNA

A well-known geneticist has created DNA identical to that of Stephen Hawking, and claims that when injected into specially prepared bacteria cells, the synthetic organism will be capable of building a time machine. Said the scientist, "This is the...

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Funny story: Scientists make 'artificial life'

Scientists make 'artificial life'

Scientists in the US have succeeded in developing the first synthetic living cell. The researchers copied an existing bacterial genome. They sequenced its genetic code and then used "synthesis machines" to chemically construct a copy. Affectionat...

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Funny story: Neanderthals DNA Lives On In Milton Keynes

Neanderthals DNA Lives On In Milton Keynes

Scientists have revealed that traces of Neanderthal DNA has been discovered in several people living in Milton Keynes. The DNA suggests that Neanderthals mated with Homo Sapiens, possibly in Newport Pagnel one Friday night. The result of these enc...

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Funny story: Gene sequencing goes viral

Gene sequencing goes viral

Seattle's prodigy inventor Bart S. Sampson announced today his process of etching microscopic robots that reassemble DNA in situ. "That book my mom made me read about some dog swallowing an invading space armada got me thinking about microscopic a...

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Funny story: DNA tests positively link church reformer to ZZ Top

DNA tests positively link church reformer to ZZ Top

Texas rock duo ZZ Top has been conclusively linked to early church father John Calvin. "It was one of those things that we probably could have guessed at years ago but it took modern science to make it conclusive," said Prof. Jerome Hugginshire, r...

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Funny story: Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

A recent mid morning TV show has revealed that Arsenal's Andrey Arshavin is indeed related to UK actor Michael York and not, as previously thought, Alexandr the meerkat. DNA experts have said that this outcome was simples. Meanwhile, Michael Yo...

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Funny story: Former Chief U.N. Weapons Inspector Scott Ritter has perfect DNA

Former Chief U.N. Weapons Inspector Scott Ritter has perfect DNA

Former chief United Nations weapons inspector Scott Ritter is said to posses excelent DNA based on his age and brody, powerful body. Professor Dan Johnson, a DNA specialist said "The world is losing good qualified men because of the easy life huma...

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Funny story: Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Scientists at the Kodos Institute in Argentina, South America, have discovered a genetic mechanism for patronisation. Genes are curled up little things inside your cells, which tell your body how to make itself. You get them from your mother and...

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Funny story: Qatari Sheikha's DNA under the microscope amid human/dinosaur hybrid fears

Qatari Sheikha's DNA under the microscope amid human/dinosaur hybrid fears

Doh! Ha! - (Empty Quarter): Scientists are baffled. The genetic code of the wife of one of the world's richest men has sent shockwaves among paleontology's cryptozoologists. Sheikha Mozzah's DNA has been traced to mutant human/dinosaur remains...

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