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Funny satire stories about Credit Crunch

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Funny story: Woolworths Sales Assistant Stripped Naked By Frenzied Bargain-Hunting Shoppers

Woolworths Sales Assistant Stripped Naked By Frenzied Bargain-Hunting Shoppers

As the curtain finally came down on 99 years of trading at Woolworths, police had to be called to a store in London, when one of the Woolies sales assistants became the target for a group of frenzied bargain-hunters who chased him around the store a...

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Funny story: Credit Crunch has devastating effect on Christmas Song

Credit Crunch has devastating effect on Christmas Song

A famed Christmas song has become the latest high profile victim of the Credit Crunch, says a well known Panto dame. Widow Twanky, a famed dame of some years standing said: 'It is all very well people being concerned about people working at M.F.I or...

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Funny story: Santa is forced to make considerable cuts as credit crunch bites!

Santa is forced to make considerable cuts as credit crunch bites!

In his North Pole Annual Report, Santa Claus has highlighted the enormity of the massive Global Economic downturn and its' effects have caused him to make some cuts too! He reported this gloomy information to In Seine News and readers must be warned that it does not make comfortable reading; "Two of my Reindeer, Cupid and Comet have chosen to take the 'early reindeer retirement package'. Thi...

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Funny story: Defense Spending to be Reduced

Defense Spending to be Reduced

Washington DC: President Elect Obama has informally asked his Secretary of Defense Robert Gates to think about how defense spending could be cut, without sacrificing military systems development, operational readiness and troop welfare. The Presi...

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Funny story: Jobs vanish

Jobs vanish

WASHITON - Half-million jobs vanished virtually in a flash last month, the worst in over a century. Some people predict 1 million jobs will vanish between now and the spring of 2009 - and that the once-humming economy could stagger forward at a sh...

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Funny story: Darth Vader blamed for fall of Woolworth's

Darth Vader blamed for fall of Woolworth's

It is understood that workers in Woolworths hold Sith Over-lord Darth Vader responsible for the current parlous state of the chain's finances. Vader, who starred in an advert with the shop's mascots Woolie the Sheep and Worth the Dog selling a che...

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Funny story: Snowfall Affected By Credit Crunch

Snowfall Affected By Credit Crunch

Winter arrived early in many parts of the UK today, with snow falling across the country, but weather experts say snowfalls were lighter than expected, and have possibly been affected by the worldwide economic and financial crisis, known chillingly a...

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Funny story: New Terms Coined

New Terms Coined

Many phrases within the English Language are said to be re-thought due to the Credit Crunch. The saying 'You can't afford to miss this' when in reference to Television or a bargain product will become 'You can probably live very well without this'...

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Funny story: Woolworth's fold - Pick'n'mix blamed

Woolworth's fold - Pick'n'mix blamed

Woolworths announced today that they are set to close the doors on their three thousand stores for the last time after no buyer was found willing to take on their £350million debts. Woolworths were one year off their centenary and have become a co...

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Funny story: Alistair Darling Unveils Latest Credit Crunch Gamble

Alistair Darling Unveils Latest Credit Crunch Gamble

Chancellor Alistair, Darling has today unveiled the government's latest plan which he says is needed to save the UK from a deep and long-lasting recession - he will invest more government money on the National Lottery. The National Lottery, says D...

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Funny story: UK is bankrupt Chancellor tells Commons

UK is bankrupt Chancellor tells Commons

London - (Third Reich Mess): A massive neo-Nazi New Slave Labour Party confidence trick is responsible for bankrupting the economy UK Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling was expected to tell the House of Commons today. Prime Monster Gorgo...

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Funny story: Bush Administration rescues Sordid Prince Alwaleed's ShittyGroup

Bush Administration rescues Sordid Prince Alwaleed's ShittyGroup

Off-the-Wall-Street, NY - (Sordid Fat Cat Ass Mess): Weeks of diplomatic misery-stirring by Sordid Arabia's Prince Alwaleed has resulted in a US Treasury $326 billion cash injection into troubled Off-the-Wall-Street lender ShittyGroup. Alwaleed, 6...

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Funny story: Woolworth in Radical Pic 'n Mix Refinancing Plan

Woolworth in Radical Pic 'n Mix Refinancing Plan

Woolworth today announced that it's radical refinancing plan has been a huge success. The price of Pick 'n Mix has been doubled, but each purchase qualifies for one new share per sweet item. "We have had a huge take-up for the offer enthused a s...

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Funny story: Somali subsidiary of Lehman Brothers offers $25 billion bail out US car industry

Somali subsidiary of Lehman Brothers offers $25 billion bail out US car industry

Mogadishu - (Ass Mess): In a surprise development the cash-rich Somali subsidiary of fallen off-the-Wall-Street giant Lehman Brothers has offered the ailing US motor industry an immediate $25 billion cash injection. The Mogadishu-based institution...

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Funny story: Children In Need Hit By Credit Crunch

Children In Need Hit By Credit Crunch

The BBC Children In Need appeal was, this morning, said by organisers to have significantly suffered from the effects of the worldwide Credit Crunch, and donations were down 18.4% on the 2007 figure. David Ramsden, of BBC Children In Need told vie...

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Funny story: Circuit City Stores to House Credit-crunch victims

Circuit City Stores to House Credit-crunch victims

Empty Circuit City stores will be converted into shelters to house families displaced by the credit-foreclosure crunch, the company announced today. The bankrupt electronics retailer has 36 exurban locations ideally situated for use by local families...

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Funny story: UK Mistakenly Enforces "Anti-Terrible Climate" Law against Iceland!

UK Mistakenly Enforces "Anti-Terrible Climate" Law against Iceland!

The green countrysides of Iceland have been thrown into panic by the worldwide economic crisis. Matters recently have been made worse by the United Kingdom's freeze on British assets in Icelandic banks. The economic intervention has been justifie...

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