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Funny satire stories about Coffee

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Funny story: Coffee Shop opens its first outlet on death row

Coffee Shop opens its first outlet on death row

Shares of Barsucks Corp. edged up by 1/16th of a cent today after the company announced that in a bid to find new niches, it was opening its first outlet on death row. The outlet, to be opened at a Harris County, Texas death row is the first amon...

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Funny story: Researchers Working on Cigarette Flavored Latte

Researchers Working on Cigarette Flavored Latte

Durham, NC - Relief is coming for those who have always wanted to drink from an ashtray. Researchers at the Institute for Tobacco Studies announced the creation of a cigarette flavoring that can be added to coffee drinks. John Bloom of the ITS sa...

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Funny story: Man Killed by "Capuchino" in Pamplona Café

Man Killed by "Capuchino" in Pamplona Café

Pamplona, Spain - It was an inside joke carried too far, say the locals. "Yeah," said Pablo Sanchez-Gomez a Basque residing in Pamplona, Spain using a translator. "Whenever a tourista would ask the barista at the La Rosa Café [The Red Cafe] for a Cap...

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Funny story: Men like coffee more than girls!

Men like coffee more than girls!

… You can make coffee as sweet as you desire. … A cup of coffee always looks good. … Coffee smells good. … Coffee tastes good. … Coffee doesn't take up half your bed. … You can have a good conversation with coffee. … You can have coffee anywhere, anytime, and not get arrested. … You can have as many coffees as you desire. … Coffee doesn't care what you look like.

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Funny story: Is coffee better than women? We explain why!

Is coffee better than women? We explain why!

1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good. 2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it. 3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 5. You can always warm coffee up. 6. Coffee comes with endless refills. 7. Coffee is cheaper. 8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. 9. Coffee never run...

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Funny story: The Topless Coffee Shop

The Topless Coffee Shop

VASSALBORO, Maine - In an effort to attract more customers, Rayburn Fiberfab, owner of The Fiberfab Seafood Grill & Coffee Shop has decided that his two waitresses will work topless. Fiberfab said that the two waitresses, Vera Croxton and Maur...

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Funny story: Barak Obama bans Starbucks and opens new chain of O'bama's Irish Coffee Shops

Barak Obama bans Starbucks and opens new chain of O'bama's Irish Coffee Shops

Barak Obama's (or is it O'bama's) wheels of industry are gradually picking up speed. They are now taking shape in the form of an Irish Coffee shop called O'bamas. These shops are planned to be in every town and city in the USA within four years, se...

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Funny story: Barak Obama to order US to only import Kenyan Coffee. And then outlaws all other varieties.

Barak Obama to order US to only import Kenyan Coffee. And then outlaws all other varieties.

President Obama announced his first Socialist act he was going to pass as soon as possible. Having already warned the US that he'd make decisions that might be unpopular. He stated in front of the world's media, 'we need to help the needy in so...

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Funny story: Starbucks' business may have bottomed

Starbucks' business may have bottomed

A top executive explained that Starbucks' business had become as black and burnt out as the sludge at the bottom of a cup that's been left up on a commuter's dashboard in the sun all weekend. He further added that dealing with the many store clo...

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Funny story: Starbucks save the planet

Starbucks save the planet

In a leaked memo last week it was revealed that every Starbucks in the UK leaves a tap running constantly in the kitchen. Mocka Chinolatty, head of Starbucks, on hearing the news, instantly interrupted one press conference on Minimum Wage From Tip...

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Funny story: Starbucks to close 600 stores to leave space for milk

Starbucks to close 600 stores to leave space for milk

Starbucks, the Seattle based coffee house chain has announced it will close 600 stores and axe 12,000 staff in an effort to leave more room for milk.

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Funny story: Marty and his skinny latte

Marty and his skinny latte

In conjunction with Time Out magazine and Metro Newspaper, London is to present the annual pretentious stakes for 2008.

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Funny story: After Baristas win $100 Million Dollar judgment, Starbucks says: "It's Gas, Grass or Ass from now Onward. No body rides for free."

After Baristas win $100 Million Dollar judgment, Starbucks says: "It's Gas, Grass or Ass from now Onward. No body rides for free."

Seattle, Washington - Starbuck's business practice of letting shift supervisors dip their hands into the baristas tip jar, allowing them to split it instead properly compensating them from its coffers of corporate profits was challenged in a cour...

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Funny story: Coffee and Cigarettes are Parts of a Balanced Diet

Coffee and Cigarettes are Parts of a Balanced Diet

A Wake Forest University showed that drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes are good for you and should be encouraged. It further suggested that legislators should have mandated smoking sections so people can live productive lives.

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Funny story: Starbucks Coffee Can Cure Tuberculosis

Starbucks Coffee Can Cure Tuberculosis

Mephistophel, Tennessee (IP) Scientists working at the Tuberculosis Institutre in Mephistophel, Tennessee have announced that Starbucks coffee can cure tuberculosis (TB).

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Funny story: Hillary haunted by ghost of elections (erections) past

Hillary haunted by ghost of elections (erections) past

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton struggled this morning with bags under her eyes to pour coffee and greet the day. Reporters say that the two-term New York Senator received a visit from the ghost of elections (erections) past during the night and could not get back to sleep afterwards.

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Funny story: The Cubical Wars - Day 3

The Cubical Wars - Day 3

Wednesday, day three - I get into the office a little late but deftly avoid loud talker before he announces it to everyone. Score one round for the good guys. I smile to myself and head to the break room to get a cup of coffee. That's when I get hit by the sneak attack, The Rationalizer is just leaving.

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