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Funny satire stories about Cannibalism

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Funny story: Russian 'emo cannibal cult' has London restaurants empire HQ

Russian 'emo cannibal cult' has London restaurants empire HQ

London - (Princess Yum-Yum Mess): The London restaurant empire of daftass gastronomy guru Sir Terrence Con-Artist was being probed by cops today. Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency detectives called it the global HQ of a 'sick emo cannibal cu...

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Funny story: Rosemary Shrager's TV cookery show students are being 'eaten' claim!

Rosemary Shrager's TV cookery show students are being 'eaten' claim!

Hefty Cook Rosemary Shrager, has been accused, by the histrionic, of eating the student's she evicts from her TV programme. The husband of one of the contestant's said "last time I saw my wife, roly-poly Rosemary was telling her to take off her ap...

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Funny story: Flesh Eating Bug was really 'very sneaky cannibal'

Flesh Eating Bug was really 'very sneaky cannibal'

An unnamed man from Nuneaton was speaking about the shock discovery that he was very slowly being eaten by his next door neighbour, Georgia Romero, a hospital anaesthetist, part-time wine-maker and head of the local Chianti society. The revelation...

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Funny story: Gay cannibal chef sentenced to gourmand wing cell-share with Dennis Nilsen

Gay cannibal chef sentenced to gourmand wing cell-share with Dennis Nilsen

London - (Ass mess): Former first Mr Gay UK winner and wannabe TV celeb chef Anthony Morley is to share a cell with prolific gay cannibal Dennis Nilsen in HMP Broadmoor's gourmand wing. Morley, 36, stabbed his lover Damian Oldfield to death and th...

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Funny story: Arctic Explorer Eats Foot, Saves Jam for Toast

Arctic Explorer Eats Foot, Saves Jam for Toast

Finnish explorer, Jan Waslosten, was lost in the frozen Arctic tundra for more than 40 days while rescue teams from Finland and Norway partnered in the search. It was assumed that Waslosten's homing beacon had died out sometime during the first wee...

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Funny story: Gay Meats Very Popular

Gay Meats Very Popular

Springfield PA -- Gay meats are the latest attraction at the Poke N Toke Grocery store in Springfield! Everyone has been lining up at the meat counter for freshly butchered gay men. Queer cutlets, fagburgers and gay sausages are on everybody's me...

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Funny story: Putin blamed for satanic cannibals' ritual orgy rampage

Putin blamed for satanic cannibals' ritual orgy rampage

Yaroslavl, Russia - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): "I blame bloodsuckers like Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin for these sadistic cannibals' satanic orgy rampage." That is one local mother's view today after Yaroslavl police arrested a gang of hum...

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Funny story: Meat Processors Processes People!

Meat Processors Processes People!

The largest kosher meat processor in the US has caught violating not only US labor and immigration laws but none other than Yahweh's commandments! The meat processing plant that claimed that it was answering to a higher power may have had a Rabbi sup...

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Funny story: Clinton Goes Cannibalistic After Obama Named Party Nominee

Clinton Goes Cannibalistic After Obama Named Party Nominee

Washington D.C. - At the Clinton's Press Meeting, Mrs. Clinton discussed the possibility of the assassination of Barack Obama, Hillary's fierce competitor in the Democratic race for the White House.

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Funny story: Gay cannibal arrested while flossing

Gay cannibal arrested while flossing

A gay Yorkshire man has been charged with murder in the accidental eating death of a free-range man he picked up for dinner.

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Funny story: After Failing With "Save the Dolphins, Save the World," Hayden Panettierre Finds New Cause

After Failing With "Save the Dolphins, Save the World," Hayden Panettierre Finds New Cause

In Japan last week, Heroes actress Hayden Panettierre was unable to save a group of dolphins from becoming dinner. The 18 year old and a group of protestors were beaten back by fishermen with poles and hooks when they tried to save a pod of the inte...

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Funny story: Cannibal: "There Was Nothing Else To Eat In The House"

Cannibal: "There Was Nothing Else To Eat In The House"

LOS ANGELES - An unemployed, aspiring actor was arrested by Los Angeles City Police on Saturday after suspicions that he had cooked and eaten his roommate were confirmed by investigators.

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Funny story: Problems with the cannibalism system uncovered

Problems with the cannibalism system uncovered

The modern cannibalism system is a mess; it is full of loopholes, and fraught by worries of attacks by vegetarians anonymous, a criminal organisation of people who force people to eat their pets if they do not become vegetarians. But the system is ea...

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Funny story: Cannibal tribe apologises for eating Methodists

Cannibal tribe apologises for eating Methodists

Papua New Guinea - (Rioters): A Papua New Guinea tribe has apologised for murdering and eating Methodist missionaaries over 100 years ago.

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Funny story: Subway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich

Subway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich

NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - They've opened up franchise restaurants around the world serving sandwiches made from bread baked that same day, fillings as fresh as possible. Value for money and ultimately, a delicious meal, have ma...

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Funny story: Last Cannibal Woman Dies of Tooth Decay

Last Cannibal Woman Dies of Tooth Decay

A 98 year old cannibal woman from the Chupacabra tribe has finally passed on. After many years in the mountains of Kilamanjaro, the woman's teeth had become useless because of chewing gum with too much sugar.

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Funny story: Basset to Eat Corgi Eater?

Basset to Eat Corgi Eater?

Bobbi Basset has plans for his future as an artist. He claims to have the body of corgi eater Mark McGown in a small freezer aboard his private yacht. Bobbi has set sail and plans to create his own art by eating the artist, vomiting him up and eati...

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