President Donald Trump has expanded his plans for territorial protection, and, as well the southern border wall to restrict the movement of Mexicans, he has now proposed a wall on the Canadian border to do the same with Canucks. The border, known...
US military chiefs are in a mild panic tonight, as Canadian troops continue to pour into Manitoba, with the intention of repatriating an area of the US totally detached from it, known as the Northwest Angle. The Northwest Angle is an area - essent...
Beijing Daily news conference: Chinese Party puppet spokesperson Hu Flung Dung - a recent graduate of the North Korean school of Diplomatic Barking and Frothing at the mouth - shouted at reporters gathered for an update on the Canadian hostage...
It seems safe (at first) to assume that entomologist Boob Anders is not a Jose Bautista fan. The scientist, who works for the Canadian Museum Au Naturel, gave the former Toronto Blue Jays star a dubious honor, the “distinction” of naming a bug after...
Following its legalisation of cannabis, Canada is to rename itself as a portmanteau of the two words: Cannabisda. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who has recently been focusing a lot on wordplay, said, "uhhhh, yea man, why the hell not, huh?" "I...
In a recent press conference, Canadian Pry Minister Justin Truedough briefly summarized efforts made by his country's scientists to mitigate greenhouse gas emissions: "We tried producing corn alcohol, but our Newfies drank up all of it before it could be added to our gasoline. Undeterred, our scientists turned to another crop which is being grown in massive quantities in our country." "Given...
Today the Trump administration complained that Canadian and Mexican trade talk officials have been talking around U.S. officials and even joking about them using some kind of secret language. "No es cierto," replied one negotiator from Mexico, "It...
Beaver Pelt, Canada — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who recently tried to upstage the Statue of Liberty's invitation to the “teeming masses” of the world's “wretched refuse,” announced, to the world (but particularly to South Americans) that any and...
People residing in French Canadian speaking areas have been told never to use the phrase "Welsh Rarebit" again! It has been removed from all restaurant menus, dictionaries, school books, the internet, Google and anywhere else! The French Canadian...
Ottawa, Canada Canadian officials today confirmed that they are reaching out to the European Union in an effort to join. "We think there is probably a big vacancy in the EU what with Brexit and all, aye!" spoke a Canadian official. "Aye, and w...
Ottawa, Canada Legislators in Canada's Parliament voted in favor of erecting a wall on the U.S./Canada border. "We have so many illegal immigrants trying to get into Canada from the United States that we feel the only way to stem the tide is to bu...
"The French Canadians are quite friendly," said choir director Brigham Smith in a press release, "and we were generally well received, but some of our interactions with the Quebecois were rather puzzling, to say the least." "For instance, can som...
Canadian border control boats rescued almost 800 US Americans yesterday seeking to escape the USA in dinghis across Lake Erie. All were wearing T-shirts declaring 'We love maple syrup' and were humming tunes by Justin Bieber and Katie Moore. They wer...
Swanton, VT - Apparently terrified by the prospect of America's restored greatness, a group of Vermont deer made a failed attempt to cross the Canadian border Wednesday. The trespassers have been captured and taken into custody, and are currently awa...
Ottawa, Canada - In a shocking move, the Canadian government has announced it will be building a wall with the United States. Originally they weren't planning to build a wall along the entire US border, but the government insisted that a wall would m...
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced today that a wall would be built in Windsor, along the border with Detroit. "We don't understand why people would even question our wall! We have gun-toting DETROIT right acr...
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced his plan to build a wall on the southern border with the United States today. "With the prospect of a Trump Presidency becoming more likely, and the announced intentions of many Liberal American D...
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