After several high-profile news items depicting various high street retailers sponsoring the animals at Chester Zoo, the zoo has finally been given the go-ahead to re-open on Monday 15th of June. Iceland have sponsored the penguins, Newcastle Unit...
In a surprise move, this afternoon, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced in the Commons that the distance of 6 feet that had been the lower limit at which people should practise 'social distancing', is to be partially reduced, to 4 feet 6 inches fr...
Boris Johnson, a puppet of Dominic Cummings, still hasn't said the dread phrase that means Cummings will soon be on the lookout for a new position. As much as the drums at the end of Eastenders mean, it is time for another continuity announcement.
After the Prime Minister's guru had declared driving to be the way of testing eyesight, thousands have set out on trips up and down the motorways and country lanes of Britain, to ascertain their quality of vision. "Best if you test it from all sid...
The leader of a gang of Hell's Angels has reacted angrily to the continuation of the Coronavirus lockdown in the UK by saying that his group will defy Boris Johnson's government, and will go wherever, whenever, they please. Brian Smith, 37, head o...
The UK government this weekend announced changes to nationwide restrictions on movement, while still maintaining the physical distancing rules necessary to limit the spread of coronavirus. In a rambling half-hour speech, Boris Johnson listed as ma...
Communities Secretary, Robert Jenrick, (nope not a clue either), has defended the government's slightly changed Coronavirus message, saying: "It couldn’t be clearer if it was a clear glass of smooth, sparkling Somerset water. "Moving on from th...
Jilted John, the man who ruled the music world with his 1978 hit single, 'Jilted John', through which he relentlessly told listeners "Gordon is a moron", has the song re-released on May 22 - the artist's 61st birthday - with slightly different lyric...
The USA and the UK are leading the world in terms of an unwanted statistic: the number of coronavirus deaths. And in the wake of this, the leaders of both great nations have come under the searching scrutiny of a leading expert, who has exposed th...
Coronavirus News: According to a Downing Street source, Prime Minister Boris Johnson will, later this week, announce the government's blueprint for a total release of the UK lockdown that has been in place since Monday 23rd March. "Prime Minister...
The British prime minister, Boris Johnson, is now back at work, and firing on all cylinder, after overcoming the Coronavirus, but there were a few hairy moments before he finally 'pulled through'. Indeed, things looked so bleak at one stage, that...
The Prime Minister and fellow Cabinet ministers staged a first, yesterday. Standing outside their respective London residencies, disgruntled about the lack of acclaim for their unique mismanagement of Covid 19, they vigorously applauded themselves. A...
Boris Johnson has sworn to stand by Priti Patel amid allegations she bullied staff in several departments. Outside number 10, Mr Johnson was challenged about his ability to side step serious issues concerning his staff. "Priti Patel is a nic...
In an astounding double take, Boris Johnson has admitted gargling with formaldehyde in an attempt to keep up with Donald Trump. When asked, outside number 10 this morning, Mr Johnson replied; "It was on sound advice, from Donald, that I give it a...
The use of recorded or 'canned' laughter, often employed to encourage studio audience participation, is to be introduced into television news reports that cover the speeches of US president, Donald Trump, it has been revealed. With so much of the…
There were long, only half-stifled groans amidst widespread muffled unrest, this week, as Prime Minister Boris Johnson, after being admitted to a hospital intensive care unit to battle against the Coronavirus, didn't die. Johnson, showing the kind...
After yesterday's news that UK residents aged over 70 might be required to remain under lockdown until at least the autumn of 2021, a new leak has emerged claiming that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is currently discussing an even more radical plan fo...
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