Kevin Smalley, 48, a clerk at Natleys Bank has been dismissed from his job after a senior manager discovered that he had lent £10 to a fellow employee. The reciprocant of the loan, Wendy Smidgin, a sales counter assistant at the same branch, had m...
Bobbis bank have downgraded Odd-Grip bonds to 'skinner', Ocadi options to 'weeping' and Yyll Group smellies to 'peturbed' in another oily rut on the markets today. Xavier Casini commented - "Ocadi is a tall banker who shops at John Lewis, Super G...
David Cameron's bank account has been depleted to zero by a Robin Hood Style Computer Hacker. The attack came just 20 minutes after the Tory without a heart declared war on the Under 25s and tiny children who have already been abandoned by their fa...
Thousands of customers were left locked out of their bank accounts across the UK this week as a popular high street bank, that cannot be named for technical reasons, lost complete control of it's computing systems. ATMs, on-line banking and chip and...
Washington DC - Lobbyists around the capital are pushing the Congress to enact new legislation to curb what they see is an attitude of blatant entitlement. According to our source, Representative Crass Raftgay, banks want to put an end to entitl...
Athens - Greece has voted to print the Euro locally. According to our source, Mr. Pimpleonhishass, head of the Greek bank, the measure adopted will have Greece create money out of nothing. Greece will not return to the Drachma, but continue with the...
Hope, Texas - Julie and Barney Thompson were about to end it all. Thirty-seven years of backbreaking work, raising four children and volunteering for everything - from helping the search for lost kids to endless spaghetti dinner fundraisers for sick friends and neighbors to burying their parents out back - all down the drain. Time had caught up with them and was about to run them over. His Dad...
Wall St. - Stocks rose on the announcement out of the G20 assembly that all stocks would be purchased by the G20 central banks. Recent stock market volatility has the elite concerned that they may loose capital in a market crash, according to ou...
PARKER, Colorado - Joe the Soda Jerk, of Woolpuke's Drugs, had explained to a large crowd of reporters Saturday, 31 January 2009 , exactly what was going on in the banking world under the opaque TARP - where the money was really going. "Let's say your a banker. You make money by sticking a straw up people and sucking out what ever is inside, aspartame, blood, whatever they got. "Well, one da...
CHANTILLY VA - According to our mole at the Build-a-bugger conference, Angela Merkel has agreed to extend the borders of Germany over the entire Euro-zone. "We have some old maps in our files that we can place on the table. We would hate to waste...
The Mitt Romney Presidential Campaign decided to create a travel agency called, No Apologies, (a new Bain Capital investment) giving vacationers the rare opportunity to visit the seven offshore banks throughout the world holding the Romney family inv...
Many people, including politicians Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, author/activists Charles Ferguson and Noam Chomsky, and economists Larry Summers and Raghuram Rajan, have weighed in on (or denied) the fraud, political manipulations and criminal wrong...
ATHENS - Filming is almost completed for the reality T.V. show, Sovereign Repo. While some footage has leaked out, those responsible are being rounded up this weekend, according to spokesman Themistocles N. Theosophisto, producer of the new series.
NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown. CEO, JD, stated that the re...
DESPICABLE, ME (Acme Quicknews) -- Filesystem Squash FS Bank was closed last May 18, 2012 after a lack of funds to sustain the bank. The bank manager has posted a notice that after undergoing monthly or bi-monthly bank robberies and being unable t...
MUNICH - Ben Bernanke announced at a press conference here today that he was sorry. No more money could be funneled through the central banks of Europe to keep the stock markets afloat. He blamed it on democracy, as exemplified in Greece. "Now...
ATHENS - The birthplace of democracy has spawned an even more useful invention: a replacement for the Euro. New smart phones will empower Greeks to issue credit on their smart phones from nothing, just like the big German banks do it. Now, accor...
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