A secondary market in home made candy has gone stratospheric in Colorado's pot production capital.
Here are the top 10 best selling snacks on sale this morning at a Girl Guides stall outside the Denver Municipal Marijuana Dispensary at 1999 Bong Street, all priced under a dollar a munch:
1. Double chocolate fudge brownie with roasted pistachio crust
2. Polish-style baked lemon cheesecak...
1. The Centipedes
2. Blackboard and the Nails
3. Cillia and the Phlegms
4. Joe Plaque and the Arteries
5. The Wheres
6. The Whens
7. The Whys
8. The Raisinettes
9. Boney and The Mastoids
10. Old Tuna
11. Icy and the Broken Hips
12. Arafat and the Jordanaires
13. Scud Missiles
14. The Rotten Mastodons
15. Orca Dinner
16. Stubby Toe and the...
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency, recently conducted a national survey to determine the worst cat names in the United States.
ADGA Executive Director Bagby B. Buckleybox, who has four cats, stated that over 825,000 individuals participated in the nationwide poll.
Many of the participants submitted foreign cat names, but it was decided that these names would not be used since a...
In the week leading up to Valentine's Day, more than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are purchased and over $1 billion worth of chocolate is sold in the U.S.
The editors applaud the chocolate companies, like Whitman's, who give the consumer a chart with each chocolate box that lists each filling, so you can choose the ones you like best.
But let the chocolate eater beware! Whil...
A survey of the recent gastronomic offerings at the Sochi Olympic Village revealed the following items, tended to by Edward Snowden, Steam Table Attendant.
30-day old Raw Black Sea Oysters
Thrice-boiled Gulag Potatoes with Worms
Breaded Wolf Cutlets with Fur Accents
50 Gallon Tub of Stinky Sour Cream
Pickled Bear Claws
NSA Caramelized Leeks with Twittered Parsley
It has come to the attention of the Editors that certain first names do not age well with their owners. Before you choose a name for your girl baby, ask yourself these two key questions:
1. If the baby girl becomes a judge someday, does the name sound appropriate - as in "Judge________________(fill in blank with name).
2. Think of the baby as eventually being an elderly woman. Does the...
Toddlers, children who are between the ages of one and three, are inquisitive and "hands-on". The Editors have compiled a list of household items toddlers should never be left alone with, even for a minute:
1. marshmallow creme
2. scotch tape
5. raw eggs
6. any kind of syrup
7. baby powder
8. cotton candy
9. spaghetti with tomato and meat s...
Naming babies can be such great fun for parents, especially new parents. However, the editors have brainstormed some names you probably should think twice about before using:
3. Pepe Le Pew
Well, well, things have certainly changed since we published "Fun Activities to do During the California Drought" several days ago. The biggest change, as most people know, is that it has been raining for the past few days! So here are some fun activities to do when it is raining outside:
1. Grab your umbrellas and slickers and sing and and dance to "Singing in the Rain".
2. Gather worms...
Any observer of a kindergarten class can easily determine why boys should be kept at home for at least one more years:
1. While the little girls are sitting quietly at their desks, the little boys are ON the desks.
2. While little girls are sleeping at nap time, little boys are tying little girls' braids to chair legs.
3. Little boys think finger paint is war paint.
4. Paste is fo...
2. slimy brussel sprouts
3. crab salad with red and white imitation crab
4. people who pick up salad items with their fingers
5. people who put back salad items with their fingers
6. little kids who are shorter than the sneeze guard
7. lickers and tasters
8. containers with contents that are almost used up
10. days old mushrooms
Just in from the penny-pinching, tight-fisted, parsimonious, cheap, tightwads that inhabit our nation - twenty surefire ways to avoid paying your income taxes:
1. Just don't pay them.
2. "I'll pay them when I'm good and ready!"
3. "Didn't my ex-wife pay them?"
4. "Didn't my ex-husband pay them?"
5. "My dog ate my tax forms."
6. "I was out of the country."
7. "I have amn...
Vehicle names for new car models can make or break cars sales. Here are some names that never quite made it out of the boardroom.
1. Kia Cheeseweed
2. Mercury Maggot
3. Ford Fluffy
4. Dodge Ball
5. Volkswagon Vole
6. Lincoln Constipator
6. Kia Kale
7. Hyundai Hushpuppy
8. Ford Fart
9. Volkswagon Aardvark
10. Saturn Sloth
11. Pontiac Perspire
Following are the Top Ten Quickies from 2013. We hope you find them amusing.
1. I have flabby thighs but at least my big fat belly and huge ass hide them.
2. They say that married men live longer. I think it just SEEMS longer.
3. My favorite machine at the exercise center is the snack machine.
4. I've been on so many blind dates that I should get me a seeing-eye dog.
The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency based in Chicago has compiled a list of the top 10 headlines of 2013.
ADGA Spokesperson Bagby B. Buckleybox stated that he sat down with several entertainment publications and news agencies and went over thousands of headlines.
The group that Buckleybox met with consisted of Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle T...
Following is a list of some of the greatest blues singers ever and some of their bands. All we hear today is a machine playing while performer lip syncs and dances on stage but these guys & Ladies were deep into the Blues!
12. Grim Pickins
11. Scandalous Slowhand Wilson
10. Deaf Mannard Dickson
9. Old Nasty Hooker
8. Fairy Ferdy Fingerbenders
7. Sickie T.B. Dukes
This is a list of the things we would like to hear from our president, but will likely never.
1. Honestly, I did not realize how in the sh** we were until I swore in--and the first thing I noticed was that my wife's rack and upper arms were more famous than my record. I mean, how screwed up was THAT?
2. And speaking of rack and arms, my definition of rack and arms at the time I took offi...
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