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Funny story: Police crackdown on rogue criminals

Police crackdown on rogue criminals

The Metropolitan Police today announced a major new initiative to crack down on crime. New rules will mean that criminals will have to register with the local police before commencing activities. "We hope the new system will mean less duplicati...

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Funny story: Pedestrian nearly killed during high speed drive by Police

Pedestrian nearly killed during high speed drive by Police

A pedestrian was nearly hit on a crossing by a Police car as officers drove at high speed. Mrs Winnie Wonte was slowly crossing the road just before 2030 BST on Thursday night. Detectives said no-one was injured as the Police car came hurtling rou...

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Funny story: Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Children losing teeth will find no money under their pillows for many weeks as the government has ordered the tooth fairy to undergo police background checks before she can continue working with children. "Employees of all government funded organi...

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Funny story: Elbow Amnesty

Elbow Amnesty

Police in Colchester have launched an elbow amnesty, after a number of incidents were said to involve the body part. Sergeant Chigley Trumpton told us: 'The level of elbow crime in this part of the world has shot right up in recent times, with man...

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Funny story: National Lottery Fake Ticket Scandal

National Lottery Fake Ticket Scandal

A man from Leicester has told how he cashed-in on unclaimed National Lottery Jackpots with tickets he, himself, made on a homemade printing press in his garden shed. John Swagg, 42, told detectives of his scheme after he was apprehended at a local...

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Funny story: Police to charge dead bodies over environment pollution

Police to charge dead bodies over environment pollution

In what many are seeing as an example of Political correctness gone mad, Metropolitan police have introduced charging the dead. A widow to Robert Jenkins who died last Wednesday and was formally charged by the police the next day, spoke for many w...

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Funny story: The 118 118 Duo arrested in missing peronal data scandal

The 118 118 Duo arrested in missing peronal data scandal

The Home Office last night released a shocking statement that the 118 118 duo have been arrested on suspicion of stealing highly confidential personal data from the Government. It is believed that the recent spate of misplaced and stolen laptops a...

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Funny story: Big Boss Cop Caught Playing Zebra Crossing Hopscotch Amid Racist Row

Big Boss Cop Caught Playing Zebra Crossing Hopscotch Amid Racist Row

Yesterday two top London cops locked horns at an independent police tribunal. The big boss cop (cop A) and a subordinate (cop B) were told to ¨buck their ideas up and get on with their jobs¨ The row erupted when the subordinate claimed his whit...

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Funny story: George Michael to Film New Police Video in Manchester

George Michael to Film New Police Video in Manchester

The city of Manchester is bracing itself for an influx of over 250,000 uniformed lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender police from 16 forces across the UK this weekend when George Michael shoots the video for his forthcoming single "Wake Me Up Befor...

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Funny story: Canadian Singer Admits Partial Responsibility For Man's Suicide

Canadian Singer Admits Partial Responsibility For Man's Suicide

Canadian singer, poet and novelist Lenny Coburg has admitted partial responsibility for a man's suicide in Delaware last week. The man, as yet, still unnamed, was found dead last Saturday hanging by his testicles from a coat hook, say police, afte...

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Funny story: Food Police Raid Fast Food Joint

Food Police Raid Fast Food Joint

Los Angeles CA, August 11, 2008: Officers of the LAPD raided Harry's Colossal Burger Emporium on Vine Street tonight. This fast food restaurant is illegal and must close in accordance with a newly passed LA City Council resolution. Activist Libera...

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Funny story: New knife-crime website criticised

New knife-crime website criticised

A new 'amnesty' website aimed at reducing knife crime has attracted fierce criticism from people who criticise such things. Operated by the Metrololitan Police as a site where teenagers, hoodies and Gordon Ramsay can own up to their crimes against...

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Funny story: Man arrested for not caring

Man arrested for not caring

Manchester, England - A man was arrested yesterday on suspicion that he did not care about the latest famine currently ravaging Ethiopia.

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Funny story: Doctor Who Success Heralds Return Of Police Call Boxes

Doctor Who Success Heralds Return Of Police Call Boxes

Police call boxes like the one used in the BBC1 children's drama series Doctor Who, could be back in use again as soon as next year, says a top policeman.

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Funny story: Big Brother Dennis Arrested By Police

Big Brother Dennis Arrested By Police

Dennis McHugh, the Big Brother housemate evicted from the show yesterday, has been arrested by police in London and charged with offences in relation to Spitting. McHugh, 23 and gay, spat gob in the face of fellow contestant Mohamed after a barney...

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Funny story: Gang Crime: "Stop the Ermine 5"

Gang Crime: "Stop the Ermine 5"

Police and anti-crime protesters have called for the "Ermine 5" to be brought to justice. The gang have brought terror to many as they make decisions which fly in the face of common sense. It is thought that the gang are addicted to drugs-m...

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Funny story: Top Asian officer doesn't make race claim

Top Asian officer doesn't make race claim

A top Asian police officer in London today didn't make a claim of racial discrimination. Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur made the announcement on BBC Radio 4 that 'I'm not making any claim of discrimination, I'm just doing a paid job like a gr...

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